I think I was 14 when my school mentioned that they had unofficially blacklisted City Harvest Church and told us to go to any church but that. Then I was exposed to that church for a few reasons, but let's just say, I never liked CHC since my first encounter. It wasn't so much about my school blacklisting the church as much as it was
feeling the fabricated atmosphere.
(Then again, I am not Christian so, yeah, what the heck.)
I think it was about...7? 8 years? Ago? That some people told me they went for a church session, and Sun Ho had this PowerPoint slide presentation talking about her rape experience as a child, to an audience of either hundreds or a thousand, I forgot. So, when the news came out a few years ago, that she had tried to keep it secret and some ass leaked it to the media, I was wondering, "Didn't she voluntarily broadcast to hundreds of people already...?" I sure as hell didn't imagine my friends telling me about the PowerPoint slide, because if I did, maybe I'll consider fortune telling or becoming a prophet.
Fast forward a few years. I didn't follow the trials in May, though I'm following the second leg now, mostly on Google search. It's pretty cool! Totally reminds me of Apollo Justice, which is describing an eerily similar picture of the current court case -- when you don't have solid evidence, you can bullshit your way out of the court.
The prosecution's presentation has been reasonable and very interesting to me, at least based on Michelle Quah's coverage (I really like it, it's captured all the important bits and gives a good picture of what went down). But then the defence comes along, and says the weirdest thing in the world that is acceptable in theory, and arguable both ways because it cannot be refuted by evidence.
What I find distasteful is the whole "projected profits" argument, which sounds to me exactly like the same kind of bullshit insurance companies pull. Except that at least the insurance companies have "guaranteed sums" vs "projected sums", which don't have a ridiculous gap -- Sun Ho's profits are only "projected", with the "guaranteed" sums abysmally low.
Never mind what the masses want to say about Kong Hee, Sun Ho, the rest and the church.
What gets to me is the fact that when you Google Sun Ho's actual musical achievements, or to search on YouTube for her musical endeavors, there is almost nothing.
NOTHING.
That is very disturbing. The defence claims that Sun Ho's music career profits exceeds US$25 millions.
So...why is the 4th video on YouTube search on Sun Ho about CHC trial? Where are the big hits? Why is it that her videos are full of thumbs down? (Actually, I know this one.) Why can't I find the "Cause a Ruckus Album"? (I was actually searching for a proper album info about it but I can't find the price, the release date...nothing.)
Are you telling me that her success is a huge surprise to the whole world that we can't find a single fucking trace of it? Maybe it's coming this Christmas, next summer, or at the final trial?
It might seem like I'm looking for evidence of her complete lack of talent and success, but the opposite is true -- I am wondering if credit is unnecessarily, blindly and irrationally stripped from her!
I've watched 5 YouTube videos of hers to gauge her ability, to gauge her as a person.
China Wine, Mr. Bill, Fancy Free, Sun With Love, Where Did Love Go.
Where Did Love Go was playing in the background and it was over before I noticed anything.
China Wine was awful. Not because it was "sexual" (actually. considering what we have on YouTube everywhere, it was hardly sexual. I guess we're still living in an age where the mention of the word sex starts a round of teenage girl giggling going). But because it screamed of money going down the drain for producing it. No sarcasm intended, no attacking intended. It was so painfully apparent how much she did not belong in that video -- there was no way the background dancers could have dumbed themselves down to make her look better, and she simply...simply can't fucking dance. It was also fucking awful that most of the song was the rapper dominating more than 70% of the song. It didn't look like a bunch of people trying to kiss up to her or anything -- it bloody looked like a sorry case of her trying to fight for a center stage but failing utterly miserably. The choreography and the number of dancers in there didn't matter -- nobody was really interacting with her in the video.. It looked disturbingly lonely.
Mr. Bill. Goodness. The song's meaning. "Oh he doesn't fucking care about me even though I've done my housewife duties and I'm going to put up with the fact that he's openly cheating on me like the doormat that I am, and my solution is...I'LL TRAIN UP PHYSICALLY TO KILL YOUR MISTRESSFUCKING ASS. (...maybe I should use a different body part for that one)" What. the. fuck. And never fucking mind that the lyrics are mindblowingly bad...it had glaring grammatical errors that I'm not sure whether they were genuine mistakes, deliberate or hints to her Singaporean roots.
"the more truth I tell, the more he tell lies. The more good I do, the more he criticize."
Okay, doormat. You sound like you were hired from a non English speaking country to be a maid and accidentally fantasized and confused yourself to be Mr. Bill's wife and to top it all off was extreme and psycho enough to find time in the middle of all your housewife duties to practice Wu Shu and slice his sorry ass apart. You could, you know, just poison his meal since you make them for him? Also, I cannot stand how juvenile the whiny complaint sounds.
Also, it didn't occur to me before but she actually dances like Gwang Soo in that video.
After these three, though. I watched Sun with Love and Fancy Free.
Sun with Love was so-so.
Fancy Free. Bash me all you want. I find it interesting. Strangely. I don't like the lyrics, or at least the way it started (it sounds pretty dumb. what the hell is waking up feeling like a millionaire, wind in my hair, all the guys are looking at me and hohoho I don't wanna toot my own horn but I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA STARE AT ME HEEHEHE GIGGLES). You know what's different about it from all the money burning endeavors before? The arrangement made it such that even her low skill dancing and mediocre singing could be made into something. There felt like a genuine effort in making her belong in the video. Other dancers, as usual, made the videos a lot more enjoyable to watch, but they weren't blatantly getting into her face and making her look like some outcast. It's interesting how Sun fades into the video such that she doesn't stick out like a sore thumb the way she did in China Wine and Mr. Bill. (Though it did end up with me thinking that this song would be a much bigger hit if it wasn't her in there, and me being more interested in who directed that video) It just felt like, whoever was getting paid to do this, had the heart to make the elements in the video interact.
But at the end of my ranting, here's what I felt from these last few days of observation.
There, in the middle of the heat, is a depressed person, Sun Ho. Or at least I think so.
She doesn't have the looks. She doesn't have the X factor. She doesn't have the personality. She has no talent. She has nothing, she is nothing.
It's like salt in the wound when words get around that her "talent" is backed up by her husband's funding, by misusing funds -- all of which mount up to nothing but people insulting her as having a horse face, YouTube videos with tons of thumbs down, and tons more speculations, scandals and criticisms. Yeah, I realized, I'm contributing with the bashing above.
Her life is a lie.
You know? The lack of assertion and presence is painfully obvious in the music videos. That's it, I think, what I've been feeling. Buying a spot to fame.
What she really needs is a solid practice of not just tuning and singing, but her pronunciation of words and intonation. Conscientious effort in the details.
Until now, I can't see into her mind, and only she would know what have been lies, what have been denials and what is real.
