Another Reason for staying single

I said I'd sleep but haha, I just remembered this so I thought I'd type it out first before I sleep and forget.

I went to eat dinner with my mother cuz Liz had OT and my uncle went to JB. My father had to eat late, so we ended up eating dinner ourselves.

So, I dunno why, but we talked about getting married and stuff.

Me: I'm not suited for marrying. One primary reason is that I'm interested in doing my own thing quite a lot.
Mother: Just like your dad!
Me: ...Actually, that's one thing. I think the bigger reason is, I will end up being unable to stand a lot of things in my partner and nag and kaopeh and say a lot and make it unbearable for both of us!
Mother: LOL just like me!!!

Good. So my mother has some self awareness! HOHOHO!

But seriously lah... I'm aware of the kind of demands/expectations I place on people. I've been working on that forever @_@ It's a conscious effort to tell myself not to place demands. Liz was just laughing earlier today when I came to a sudden awareness that I have strangely high expectations of people around me when I play game. I expect everyone to know what they're doing, and I have endless questions when they do completely incomprehensible things. I don't have anything personal against them, seriously D: I'm not even a pro gamer myself. Casual hardcore but not quite there...

...How did that turn into gaming rant...

But yeah. I like to be able to trust people near me when they show consistency--I don't even need to expect. I just know they would. I think Liz has been dealing with my strange expectations for a lifetime now she doesn't even feel a damn thing xD (Funnily, she doesn't quite bother to fulfill my expectations though. She expects me to fulfill hers though!?!?!?)

I don't know how long it's been that way, but I appreciate it when people are reliable. Which is why I beat myself up a lot when I become unreliable. ~_~

Oh well... And how that relates to wanting to stay single... I think unless the other party is an *AHEM* good looking sage, you can expect the relationship to break very soon.

Gaming Social Interaction Thoughts (woah big title!)

I think I need to spend an hour a day to study wtf Facebook is talking about D: I...am still trying to tell the difference between Wall and News Feed. >.>

Meanwhile...

...Um. Well, while playing my online game, I join random squads and all that for experience, and now, for future squading convenience, I look for people whom I think are okay to work with and just add them as long as they don't suck.

I don't know why, I recently added a person whom I don't remember to be so chatty! I added her cuz I thought she was pretty ok gaming skill wise... But just a few days ago, she suddenly pm-ed me and started chatting with me. I'm fine with that. What I'm a little o_o!? about is how she pms me...for two hours. Not continuously, but she expects the chat to go on like it does on msn o_o I don't do that with strangers man...

...not especially if they sound like they're thinking about *another direction*!

Well see...in an online gaming environment, some, while they know that their characters don't necessarily represent the correct player sexes, will still regard people based on their characters, and that's fine. I do that too. I don't usually guess the sex behind the character since I don't really care--I only care if we can work in a team.

But...what's it with people...assuming that their characters represent their sexes...and start flirting on that assumption!?!?

??????

As I mentioned somewhere on my blog before, I make a terrible flirt. I avoided female toons because I prefer trash talk to flirting. And well, I personally don't think male players are inclined to ask another "male player" (or at least, male character) about their personal lives... BUT they bother to pm female characters and hope to hit up with the player (until they get the "im a guy" msg).

When I played Ragnarok Online, I was never hit on by any female character even though I thought my thieves were pretty, erm, cool looking. Hehehe.

But now that I'm on another game...

...why are the girls so initiative?!?

In my eyes, my characters look nice to me even though another segment of my brain tells me it looks otherwise to the general public (like how my toons are called ah bengs and ugly and all).

You know, I'd rather the girls who hit on me were like *ahem* someone else's hit on experience, with a very simple "OMG you look cool, marry me!" so I can dish out, "Sorry, I'm attached" or "I'm planning to marry my alt" or some other random cool shiet to check out people's reactions.

But the kind of experiences I have?? (Btw, all the below ones are from different people)

"Gimme a hug! ;D"

(out of the blues, which soon became an expectation before I log off)

"You will keep me warm? ;O"

(erm don't ask me how it ended up there)

"We're alone... *evil smirks*"

(I swear to the powers above, someone suggested that to me while we were waiting for other squadies to turn up)

"Omg what are you thinking? Dirty? *evil smirks*"

(To my very literal comment of "It's getting late" because...it was going midnight in my world)

"Where ish youuuu D:"

(I don't remember any appointments with this person)

"Yes I remember you handsome *shy face*"

(I remembered the person for being a good player but I forgot her face)

"Get me a (insert random ultra rare expensive stuff) ♥"

(Wah lau, I don't know you you don't know me, ask me give you treasure...)

"Do you like me? :P"

(Was that a joke? I really don't know, it was 4+am in the morning when she asked so I don't know wtf I answered)

And most of the time, these (I assume) girls will chat at length just to see my reaction. No matter how lame the conversation gets, they will still go on and on then test my reaction. Wah lau. Some more if I don't respond, they will find chance to dump the question back in my face! (E.g. I was literally extorted and pushed around for a hug...wth)

Aiyahhh wah lau. If I were a guy, maybe I'd have twice the amount of fun with all the conversation above but alas, I think I'm getting better at roleplay. >.>

To join or not to join...

...Facebook?!?!

If you're reading my blog, you are either my juniors, Liz, spam bots, Mel, someone the above listed has leaked my add to, or past enemies/friends who try really hard to Google and stalk me. (Oh yes they exist) I personally don't remember who else I've ever told to about this blog so...woops if you're not listed!

I abandoned the blog I started ermmm I think 6 or 7yrs ago. I stopped logging on msn regularly sinceee I think 3 or 4 yrs ago. And I don't have Facebook. So, I have been pretty untraceable for a long time now.

Now, what raised this question was because...

+ On 18 Dec, I went for my juniors' pot luck session and realise they talk coded because they already have the background info of their topic on Facebook statuses!
+ On 8 Jan, I went for the HSC alumni band BBQ session and realise they talk coded yet again because they repeat above sentence

PLUSSS...I don't blog surf. THAT or people have deleted their blogs >:(
[You troublesome sods!]

So the last place I can ever go to, to update myself about people's lives...is there. D:

><

Noooo

Well... I was online with bel earlier today and I asked her this question. As I've told her, my concern is...

WHAT if people I don't like want to stalk me...?
Her: Don't add friend!

Or what if people who don't know I don't like them want to add friend me?!
I used to dish out with a smile to boot, "I no have facebook! :D" But if I have one now... !!! TE-NEHHH *horror music*
Her: *an advice that I must not divulge*

Ummm I can't remember who told me (maybe it was huizhen :o) that I can just create an account and leave it empty. Good idea...

Though...

I still like being ancient and telling people upfront I have no Facebook since every other person who lost contact with me and are trying to re-establish contact always ask that as the first question.

WOAHHH

Who is having sex and how often?!

*nods in enlightenment*

...I re-read the thing and realised that...

I TOLD THE WRONG THING TO MY MOTHER HAHAHAHA

By the way, have I ever mentioned how my mother once called me a pervert? D:
But, actually, I think she and my father are worse!

Ah...

家丑不得外流啊！

Hmm...

:(

I wish the noise in my head would go away. I'm not hallucinating, not imagining things or hearing things but...I have too many thoughts that I don't know if they are even valid. I don't know why I have problems feeling safe and secure. It sometimes feels like there's a barbed wire fence inside me.

:'(

$1,000 to erm, beautify your eyebrows

(This post was for two days ago)

I don’t comprehend this. SGD $1k can nab you… (either/or)
2 months worth of breakfast, lunch and dinner
10 months worth of just lunch on only working days
2 computers
A trip to overseas
750 Gold on games
Almost half my yearly savings plan (one of them)
Close to 2 months worth of utility bills
Etc etc

But why? Why would the average clerk spend SGD $1,000…to beautify eyebrows??!!??!!

I cannot comprehend it, nor do I try to. For some reason, I can understand spending $1k on a full set of clothes including shoes and bags, a huge treat to treat an entire department worth of people, or…or just iPhone10.

But… $1k? On…eyebrows???

Eyebrows???

I’m still baffled.

Are the results of beautifying your eyebrows that earth shattering? I walked past the clerk today without even noticing anything!

(Woah, now THAT’S kinda earth shattering when I think about it.)

Oooh

I like Secret Garden, the show on Channel U! But I think I missed the first episode...

I think I should keep the stories for inspiration purposes! :D