Cause and Effect

Can't remember where I read about this thing called 'cause and effect.' It originated from a story, about how the world is mainly ruled by one thing called 'consequence.' Don't know if it was from The Protector or some other book, but anyways...

I think applying the idea of 'cause and effect' is very useful, when you're doing introspection. And allow me to stress the importance of introspection... If only we did it more often, I think half of the unnecessary whining would be gone. Sense of self-entitlement would lower and asses would realize how much they stink.

Very funny how some people don't see action A results in consequence B, and then go on to complain about why they're in consequence B, then complain about other people carrying out action A.

When I can't say it flat out

Konnichi wa.

I keep wanting to express something, but most of the media that I'm exposed to are inappropriate...and then I recalled my blog ♥

But, by now, most of the things I want to express have become just vague feelings.

I'll get to the point though, what's bothering me so much.

How does a person with intense feelings cope with social interaction? I don't have any real reasons to feel what I feel. There's nothing wrong with them either, at least in my perspective. But it's downright hard to talk about it.

It could be my environment. I can't tell anyone how happy I am to see them, or how sad I am to see them leave. It's alienating to me, and probably twice as much to them. It doesn't show on my face either. I can't just turn around to a friend, and suddenly say, "Actually, I really like having you around even though I have nothing to say to you." It sounds downright phony when it's said out instead of kept inside...not to mention it sounds contradicting in nature. And I know how some people would literally run away after hearing such a thing, when it really shouldn't be the case. Sigh.

It's even sadder when you don't even know if you're just being one-sided or the feelings are mutual. I know what I feel, but that's about it. And considering my entire history of patterns of making friends, I'm pretty liable to being one-sided. I put a lot of feelings in a lot of things I do...so ultimately, it's pretty hard to take them back at the end.

Saddest part is, you know you'll eventually have to take them back some day.

You know, in TV dramas, characters would express how they don't want someone to go, to leave, etc etc, you get the picture. In the cheesy scenario, said someone would eventually not go and come back. But y'know, that's that, frames put together and aired to you to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

So, in my understanding of "real life" or "reality", it puts unnecessary stress on other people when you express how you're unwilling to part with them. People liable to acts of martyrdom will stay to continue an unhealthy relationship with you, while people who are afraid of clingy relationships will disappear faster than if you didn't express it first.

Would I cling on to people? Hmmmmm. No, not really. I usually walk out on people before they walk out on me. But I'm no less sad when someone else walks out of my life. Does it show? Guess not.

OH and just in case I sound like that, I'm NOT having a crush or anything. Hahaha.

Edit I was in the mood for an emo story that I promised to write after writing this...but...I...lost it after reading something else. Ohhh noooo.