Ahaha! Yah, I backdated this post just to say this!
Merry Christmas!
OMG!
14 years ago
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sun/Moon Sign
For those who were at Hilary's house for pot luck and were interested in the sun/moon sign reading, I've found ONE link that talks about it!
http://personalityseries.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/sun-and-moon-combination/
It's actually less comprehensive than the one I first came across (cuz that first one talked about parenting style that this one didn't), but still, the combinations are there!
Hopefully I can find more :D
http://personalityseries.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/sun-and-moon-combination/
It's actually less comprehensive than the one I first came across (cuz that first one talked about parenting style that this one didn't), but still, the combinations are there!
Hopefully I can find more :D
Totally Random But...
Yesterday, I dismantled my desktop in 3mins to rush for the company transport!!!
I felt so proud when I heard my colleagues shouting after I said goodbye, "XIAO MEI!!! YOU DISMANTLED YOUR COM IN THREE MINUTES???"
Wah, so proud.
I felt so proud when I heard my colleagues shouting after I said goodbye, "XIAO MEI!!! YOU DISMANTLED YOUR COM IN THREE MINUTES???"
Wah, so proud.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Currently, I'm at Hilary's House
I'm torn between betraying the survivors of this gathering and going home to play online game, or sticking around and talking kok.
Omg, I just missed wo3 cai1. I might miss liao2 zhai1 D:
Hmm. What should I talk about?
Okay... I've kinda forgotten how group gatherings to update about one another's lives can be rather interesting. (It's time like this where the description 'reserved' actually applies to me.) I don't like to update about my own life but that's besides the point.
I think one of the nice things to know is how people have grown up to develop an identity of their own. To be fair, I'd say nobody is really unique--we're mostly assimilations of our environments. Pretty much like chemical formula--this background, this pair of parents, this set of circumstances and our genes make up who we are today. We can either argue that to be the basis of our uniqueness, or just how much we're all really the same.
Don't you feel like sometimes, you fear being just another one, but at the same time, you take comfort in knowing you're just like everyone else?
But on the darker side of life, it's a little disconcerting to know that people we know have always had a predisposition for certain eventualities. Everyday, every minute and every second of our youth, we're exposed to environments that would spell our future. These form the basis of the future. And often, problems go undetected.
Like how, perhaps now we're all nearing or have reached adulthood, and then we realise an acquaintance has had a disturbing background, except that we never really knew until it's so late for us to know that their story now sounds too far-fetched or surreal for us to do anything about. Or how, someone who seemed so simple and light-hearted has turned to smoking and a sleazy lifestyle for relief from their real-life circumstances. Or how, people have never had a strong identity to begin with and fall into the wrong backgrounds...and become someone we no longer understand.
To be honest, I was horribly lazy to come out today. I have a tendency to withdraw into myself to feel comfortable. (Yeah... It's an introverted thing.) But oh well, I made the cold potato (with expert guidance hahahaha <3); no sense on being anti-social and eating it myself.
But it's always the same... I'd feel like not coming, and then I end up feeling glad I came.
The thing about gatherings is that you don't feel so absorbed by your own life. From a clenched state of mind, you unwind and open up, soak up external information (:O?!) and end up feeling less...erhhh close-minded, for a lack of better word. To put it negatively, it's a distraction. But then again, what's wrong with distractions? o.o
Just a thought I guess, sometimes, when people go on a never ending quest "to become", they easily forget "to be." Every second, time is dying, time is existing and time is coming into existence... While we're taught to think about our future (to become), I think most of us have never really quite learnt 'to be'. Kinda sad.
While a lot of us need the assurance of a better tomorrow, I think a lot more of us need more acceptance for our current state.
Hmm.
I had a good laugh listening to everyone's love lives today. Ahaha.
(You must've realised by now, that I don't know how to end my post. WOOH!)
Omg, I just missed wo3 cai1. I might miss liao2 zhai1 D:
Hmm. What should I talk about?
Okay... I've kinda forgotten how group gatherings to update about one another's lives can be rather interesting. (It's time like this where the description 'reserved' actually applies to me.) I don't like to update about my own life but that's besides the point.
I think one of the nice things to know is how people have grown up to develop an identity of their own. To be fair, I'd say nobody is really unique--we're mostly assimilations of our environments. Pretty much like chemical formula--this background, this pair of parents, this set of circumstances and our genes make up who we are today. We can either argue that to be the basis of our uniqueness, or just how much we're all really the same.
Don't you feel like sometimes, you fear being just another one, but at the same time, you take comfort in knowing you're just like everyone else?
But on the darker side of life, it's a little disconcerting to know that people we know have always had a predisposition for certain eventualities. Everyday, every minute and every second of our youth, we're exposed to environments that would spell our future. These form the basis of the future. And often, problems go undetected.
Like how, perhaps now we're all nearing or have reached adulthood, and then we realise an acquaintance has had a disturbing background, except that we never really knew until it's so late for us to know that their story now sounds too far-fetched or surreal for us to do anything about. Or how, someone who seemed so simple and light-hearted has turned to smoking and a sleazy lifestyle for relief from their real-life circumstances. Or how, people have never had a strong identity to begin with and fall into the wrong backgrounds...and become someone we no longer understand.
To be honest, I was horribly lazy to come out today. I have a tendency to withdraw into myself to feel comfortable. (Yeah... It's an introverted thing.) But oh well, I made the cold potato (with expert guidance hahahaha <3); no sense on being anti-social and eating it myself.
But it's always the same... I'd feel like not coming, and then I end up feeling glad I came.
The thing about gatherings is that you don't feel so absorbed by your own life. From a clenched state of mind, you unwind and open up, soak up external information (:O?!) and end up feeling less...erhhh close-minded, for a lack of better word. To put it negatively, it's a distraction. But then again, what's wrong with distractions? o.o
Just a thought I guess, sometimes, when people go on a never ending quest "to become", they easily forget "to be." Every second, time is dying, time is existing and time is coming into existence... While we're taught to think about our future (to become), I think most of us have never really quite learnt 'to be'. Kinda sad.
While a lot of us need the assurance of a better tomorrow, I think a lot more of us need more acceptance for our current state.
Hmm.
I had a good laugh listening to everyone's love lives today. Ahaha.
(You must've realised by now, that I don't know how to end my post. WOOH!)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
三百六十度
很多年过了。
有了许多改变。
以为自己也许真的不同了。
结果还是发现，
最喜欢的生活，
是即没有手提电话，
也没有MSN的生活。
不喜欢空等待。
也不喜欢交代。
喜欢可以掌握自己的时间。
如果等到来有结果，
要我等多久都可以。
不过世界不像自己写的故事，
所有人物由作者控制。
不是说想控制其他人啦。。。
只是无法一直同道下去。
最忘不了的画面就是小六毕业的时候。
那时问过自己， “我会回头吗？”
还真的回头了耶。
原来
我
是
长不大的人！！！
哈哈哈。
有了许多改变。
以为自己也许真的不同了。
结果还是发现，
最喜欢的生活，
是即没有手提电话，
也没有MSN的生活。
不喜欢空等待。
也不喜欢交代。
喜欢可以掌握自己的时间。
如果等到来有结果，
要我等多久都可以。
不过世界不像自己写的故事，
所有人物由作者控制。
不是说想控制其他人啦。。。
只是无法一直同道下去。
最忘不了的画面就是小六毕业的时候。
那时问过自己， “我会回头吗？”
还真的回头了耶。
原来
我
是
长不大的人！！！
哈哈哈。
Friday, December 10, 2010
Herbal Elements for Men
Once again, Youtube recommended me something totally stupid.
This is whacked!!!
Hahaha this reminds me of my mother complaining about stupid women looking like they're having the three letter word with Herbal Essences!
This is whacked!!!
Hahaha this reminds me of my mother complaining about stupid women looking like they're having the three letter word with Herbal Essences!
Small Talk Pt. 2
Date: 6-12-2010
Today, one of my colleagues was on compassionate leave. So, two of my other colleagues decided to da bao and finish their work so they can attend the wake, leaving Liz and I to go make merry ourselves.
We reached canteen, and saw another colleague. He was with a girl I didn’t recognise, so I thought we were gonna be on our own, until Liz said we’re joining them, and that anyway she knows the girl. Sooo we joined them.
…
…
Once again, I found my small talk ability challenged.
At many points, I kept wondering why the girl was laughing to herself after making a point. The thing that was disturbing was not that she was laughing, but that I was still trying to figure out what the point was while she laughed herself silly.
Example…
Girl: Sometimes I’m left in the office with only two colleagues, and they quarrel, so I feel nervous! *laughs*
Liz: What do they quarrel about?
Girl: Oh, it’s about phone calls. You know we have two phones… *goes the extra length to explain export import phone call abcdefg I started to think I’m gonna blog this* And so colleague A received a call, asking for B. So A transferred the call to B, who immediately scolded, “Why you send to me??” And A responded, “But he’s looking for you wat!” *laughs*
…
Girl: Then when no one is around, my colleague would open the window and say just smoke anywhere you want! *laughs* Some more he doesn’t stand at the window there and smoke; he sits at his desk and smokes! *laughs* Speaking of which, the air con in our office like so weak. Cuz my colleague sit directly under it and says it’s cold, so he raised the temperature. *laughs* So the smell of smoke doesn’t stay. I don’t feel the air con at all. But I won’t perspire so I don’t really mind. *laughs*
…
I…
…felt extremely guilty for not laughing along because until now, I’m still trying to find what the funny parts are.
The only one part that I felt was interesting was when she showed us the picture of what she thought was a proper looking lady, and then told us that the woman was not what she seemed. She smokes, and that’s normal. But she spewed things like knn ccb and all that freely like water, and, something I thought was damn interesting, was that after hanging up a call, she’d add a very casual “kannina.”
I gauged myself to be normal when I noticed how Liz and the other guy colleague looked frozen in a template smile while I buried myself in my consumption of Sesame Chicken Rice.
Hmmmmm. Now. Maybe my version of small talk sounds like this:
“You know, I have a colleague behind me who keeps waving his hand in front of me to disturb me. *laughs* He says Liz and I are his sources of entertainment. *laughs* He says the way I laugh needs improvement. *laughs*”
Freak man, I couldn’t continue writing—freaked myself out midway! Hahahaha!
The woman with the bloated stomach in the toilet also had has Small Talk Mastery as a passive skill man. Sometimes when I think about small talk, I would remember this one instance. We all, including the managers, wanted to order eat away from I think McDonalds. Then this bloated woman came along, and, I dunno how, started talking about I think Carl Juniors’ burgers. This was her description:
“Their burger hor, was really very big. It was *gestures* THIS big. It’s really super big. It’s really very big. I ordered it, and it looked *gestures again* this, this, this big. It’s really very big lor. I almost didn’t know how to eat cuz it was *gestures one last time* damn big.”
Yup. So I see it’s the size of your bum. Anything else to add? Perhaps the meat is really big to fit in that really big two slices of bread and the leaf can be used as an umbrella?
Actually, is this really small talk??? (Or is it big talk??!!)
If I come across more of such small talk, I will let you know if I’m the sane one or them.
Today, one of my colleagues was on compassionate leave. So, two of my other colleagues decided to da bao and finish their work so they can attend the wake, leaving Liz and I to go make merry ourselves.
We reached canteen, and saw another colleague. He was with a girl I didn’t recognise, so I thought we were gonna be on our own, until Liz said we’re joining them, and that anyway she knows the girl. Sooo we joined them.
…
…
Once again, I found my small talk ability challenged.
At many points, I kept wondering why the girl was laughing to herself after making a point. The thing that was disturbing was not that she was laughing, but that I was still trying to figure out what the point was while she laughed herself silly.
Example…
Girl: Sometimes I’m left in the office with only two colleagues, and they quarrel, so I feel nervous! *laughs*
Liz: What do they quarrel about?
Girl: Oh, it’s about phone calls. You know we have two phones… *goes the extra length to explain export import phone call abcdefg I started to think I’m gonna blog this* And so colleague A received a call, asking for B. So A transferred the call to B, who immediately scolded, “Why you send to me??” And A responded, “But he’s looking for you wat!” *laughs*
…
Girl: Then when no one is around, my colleague would open the window and say just smoke anywhere you want! *laughs* Some more he doesn’t stand at the window there and smoke; he sits at his desk and smokes! *laughs* Speaking of which, the air con in our office like so weak. Cuz my colleague sit directly under it and says it’s cold, so he raised the temperature. *laughs* So the smell of smoke doesn’t stay. I don’t feel the air con at all. But I won’t perspire so I don’t really mind. *laughs*
…
I…
…felt extremely guilty for not laughing along because until now, I’m still trying to find what the funny parts are.
The only one part that I felt was interesting was when she showed us the picture of what she thought was a proper looking lady, and then told us that the woman was not what she seemed. She smokes, and that’s normal. But she spewed things like knn ccb and all that freely like water, and, something I thought was damn interesting, was that after hanging up a call, she’d add a very casual “kannina.”
I gauged myself to be normal when I noticed how Liz and the other guy colleague looked frozen in a template smile while I buried myself in my consumption of Sesame Chicken Rice.
Hmmmmm. Now. Maybe my version of small talk sounds like this:
“You know, I have a colleague behind me who keeps waving his hand in front of me to disturb me. *laughs* He says Liz and I are his sources of entertainment. *laughs* He says the way I laugh needs improvement. *laughs*”
Freak man, I couldn’t continue writing—freaked myself out midway! Hahahaha!
The woman with the bloated stomach in the toilet also had has Small Talk Mastery as a passive skill man. Sometimes when I think about small talk, I would remember this one instance. We all, including the managers, wanted to order eat away from I think McDonalds. Then this bloated woman came along, and, I dunno how, started talking about I think Carl Juniors’ burgers. This was her description:
“Their burger hor, was really very big. It was *gestures* THIS big. It’s really super big. It’s really very big. I ordered it, and it looked *gestures again* this, this, this big. It’s really very big lor. I almost didn’t know how to eat cuz it was *gestures one last time* damn big.”
Yup. So I see it’s the size of your bum. Anything else to add? Perhaps the meat is really big to fit in that really big two slices of bread and the leaf can be used as an umbrella?
Actually, is this really small talk??? (Or is it big talk??!!)
If I come across more of such small talk, I will let you know if I’m the sane one or them.
Dying Wish Granted
NOTE Because I forgot to send myself, these posts are supposed to be backdated. So yeah.
Date: 6-12-2010
I have come across three topics that I feel like meshing into one post, but for drama and impact purposes, I will split them into different posts, and post on different times. Mwahaha.
Now.
I don’t remember the exact words.
I read something on the Newpaper headline, and I know I shouldn’t laugh, but the headline went like this:
DYING WISH GRANTED—Dying man gets sent to casino via ambulance
…
Oh wow, imagine standing in front of the drink store and laughing to yourself over something as morbid as that. What a hardcore person—gambling to the death, literally.
Here’s the imagined script for the scenario:
WARNING
IF you cannot take morbid humor, do not read on and call me a heartless being!
/WARNING
Ambulance Stretcher Man (I don’t know what they’re called; hereby coined as ASM): UNCLE! Don’t die!
Gambler: I…I don’t have much time left…
ASM: Hang on! We’ll bring you to the hospital!
Gambler: No… It’s too late. My legs are numb… My bum is starting to feel numb…
ASM: NO!
Gambler: Please… Won’t you grant a dying man one last wish?
ASM: Yes, anything we can do to help you!
Gambler: Bring me…to the casino…
ASM: *stuns* *wakes up* OKAY! EVERYONE! TO THE CASINO!
Ambulance Crew: OUH! SOUCHOU!
*Entire crew rushes to the casino and even foots the hundred-dollar entrance bill*
*Dying gambler puts his hand on the jackpot button*
Gambler: …*weeps*
ASM: What happened? Are you hurting?!
Gambler: No… I’m just very touched… I miss the smell of the jackpot machine…
ASM: OMG LOOK! YOU STRUCK THE JACKPOT!!!
Gambler: *coughs* ASM…
ASM: Yes uncle?!
Gambler: …Actually…
Wah si lim peh…
ASM: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
-End drama-
Now. In no way do I have intentions to make fun of the dying man. I do not know the circumstance surrounding his death. I repeat for the thousandth time, that I know nothing about the whole story. I couldn’t even be bothered to spend 70 cents (or has it risen to 75 cents) just so I could do a research on his story. It could be far more severe than I thought.
But the thought of a man who would rather go to the casino than the hospital as a dying wish—now that’s pretty unusual. He sounds like he had accepted and gotten over the fact that he was dying and that all he wanted to do was to see what he liked one last time.
So, not much point pretending that it’s so dirt serious now is there? Sounds very much like some funerals that have ice cream parties and happy songs played just so nobody feels sad about their parting…or rather, departing.
NOW! Let’s distract ourselves, and imagine our own dying wishes!
While walking to the toilet just now, I thought of something.
Do you think NASA will approve if I drafted this to them?
Dear NASA
When I’m dying, I would like to get on one of your rockets on testing, and have you launch it into the stratosphere. I would like it to malfunction at the moment I draw my last breath, so that I die with an explosion in the middle of the cosmos.
My thanks to you would be in the form of a small-boxed headline at the corner of the front page of Newpaper.
Yours sincerely
Death-by-rocket-explosion fan
Then Newpaper’s headline:
DYING WISH GRANTED—Dying nameless peasant explodes in space on a NASA rocket
Beat that, you fellow peasants. Mehahaha.
Date: 6-12-2010
I have come across three topics that I feel like meshing into one post, but for drama and impact purposes, I will split them into different posts, and post on different times. Mwahaha.
Now.
I don’t remember the exact words.
I read something on the Newpaper headline, and I know I shouldn’t laugh, but the headline went like this:
DYING WISH GRANTED—Dying man gets sent to casino via ambulance
…
Oh wow, imagine standing in front of the drink store and laughing to yourself over something as morbid as that. What a hardcore person—gambling to the death, literally.
Here’s the imagined script for the scenario:
WARNING
IF you cannot take morbid humor, do not read on and call me a heartless being!
/WARNING
Ambulance Stretcher Man (I don’t know what they’re called; hereby coined as ASM): UNCLE! Don’t die!
Gambler: I…I don’t have much time left…
ASM: Hang on! We’ll bring you to the hospital!
Gambler: No… It’s too late. My legs are numb… My bum is starting to feel numb…
ASM: NO!
Gambler: Please… Won’t you grant a dying man one last wish?
ASM: Yes, anything we can do to help you!
Gambler: Bring me…to the casino…
ASM: *stuns* *wakes up* OKAY! EVERYONE! TO THE CASINO!
Ambulance Crew: OUH! SOUCHOU!
*Entire crew rushes to the casino and even foots the hundred-dollar entrance bill*
*Dying gambler puts his hand on the jackpot button*
Gambler: …*weeps*
ASM: What happened? Are you hurting?!
Gambler: No… I’m just very touched… I miss the smell of the jackpot machine…
ASM: OMG LOOK! YOU STRUCK THE JACKPOT!!!
Gambler: *coughs* ASM…
ASM: Yes uncle?!
Gambler: …Actually…
Wah si lim peh…
ASM: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
-End drama-
Now. In no way do I have intentions to make fun of the dying man. I do not know the circumstance surrounding his death. I repeat for the thousandth time, that I know nothing about the whole story. I couldn’t even be bothered to spend 70 cents (or has it risen to 75 cents) just so I could do a research on his story. It could be far more severe than I thought.
But the thought of a man who would rather go to the casino than the hospital as a dying wish—now that’s pretty unusual. He sounds like he had accepted and gotten over the fact that he was dying and that all he wanted to do was to see what he liked one last time.
So, not much point pretending that it’s so dirt serious now is there? Sounds very much like some funerals that have ice cream parties and happy songs played just so nobody feels sad about their parting…or rather, departing.
NOW! Let’s distract ourselves, and imagine our own dying wishes!
While walking to the toilet just now, I thought of something.
Do you think NASA will approve if I drafted this to them?
Dear NASA
When I’m dying, I would like to get on one of your rockets on testing, and have you launch it into the stratosphere. I would like it to malfunction at the moment I draw my last breath, so that I die with an explosion in the middle of the cosmos.
My thanks to you would be in the form of a small-boxed headline at the corner of the front page of Newpaper.
Yours sincerely
Death-by-rocket-explosion fan
Then Newpaper’s headline:
DYING WISH GRANTED—Dying nameless peasant explodes in space on a NASA rocket
Beat that, you fellow peasants. Mehahaha.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I didn't send to myself
I typed some stuff on winword at my office, but I forgot to send to myself, so no updates D:
And I'm starting to wonder where the heck the taggers come from or if they're even real ><
So, writing this for drama purposes:
たまに、 利用された感じしています。
たまに、 寂しい。
いつものように。
Haha it's starting to sound like a Japanese ad!
(No, I don't know if it's grammatically correct)
...But yeah. Sometimes, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing either. Oh well... I guess I never really outgrew my childish daydreams.
And I'm starting to wonder where the heck the taggers come from or if they're even real ><
So, writing this for drama purposes:
たまに、 利用された感じしています。
たまに、 寂しい。
いつものように。
Haha it's starting to sound like a Japanese ad!
(No, I don't know if it's grammatically correct)
...But yeah. Sometimes, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing either. Oh well... I guess I never really outgrew my childish daydreams.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Don't Waste Food!
Just a random thought while talking to Liz yesterday.
I have completely forgotten this entire Chinese poem, but only the last line remains in my head:
(What's the translation for that? Every grain carries hard work? Hahaha don't know.)
I waste food sometimes >< Guilty dinner nights. But...y'know, if you can finish the food, scrape to the last grain of rice and eat it! Scoop and gather your food! Doesn't it bother you that some grains of rice are scattered all over?! And if you can't finish eating everything, ask for less D:
That phrase comes to mind every single bloody time when I see food, especially rice, is wasted. @_@
And no, "I paid for my food" has nothing to do with wasting food. >:/
I have completely forgotten this entire Chinese poem, but only the last line remains in my head:
粒粒皆辛苦!
(What's the translation for that? Every grain carries hard work? Hahaha don't know.)
I waste food sometimes >< Guilty dinner nights. But...y'know, if you can finish the food, scrape to the last grain of rice and eat it! Scoop and gather your food! Doesn't it bother you that some grains of rice are scattered all over?! And if you can't finish eating everything, ask for less D:
That phrase comes to mind every single bloody time when I see food, especially rice, is wasted. @_@
And no, "I paid for my food" has nothing to do with wasting food. >:/
Writing Sad Stories
Oh wow. I wrote a story that was so damn long that winword told me they couldn’t be bothered to check for my spelling and grammatical errors anymore. It’s not even near the end!
That said, I don’t really know why I like to write about traumatised, mentally unstable or mentally unsound people. It’s interesting to write though.
The first time I ever cried writing my own story was in secondary school. Actually, it wasn’t my story. The character was a direct reference to my ex-neighbour. At the time I wrote the story, his grandmother had just passed away not too long ago, and when he talked to me about it, I felt like he was rather disturbed and depressed. I don’t know what my composition topic was, but I wrote his story and tried to imagine what he felt like. I ended up crying and writing it. I still remember my English teacher then, Ms Karen Ng, asking me if I feel for my characters when I write them.
I don’t remember when I wrote the next story, but recently I reread one of my old stories and felt depressed over it. It was about one guy who’d recently killed his friend. This friend is a total annoyance, but his friend was the one who accommodated him at his (friend) house when he was fleeing from his hometown for something else. His friend left him all of a sudden, and the next time they met, they were enemies. Wow, soap drama. Then anyway, he went back to his friend’s house, made dinner like he used to, and sat at the dinner table, waiting for his friend to come back. I made three endings for that just to make me feel better >< His friend was a supernatural being, so I made one where his friend did come back, one where his friend came back for revenge and the last where his friend was just, well, dead.
Today, I continued to write my freakishly long story. This story will never see the light, but anyway, I didn’t know writing about how a rape victim cannot resume a normal love life that easily was that depressing. Ugh. Felt so sad writing it. I’ve never met a single rape victim and his/her family members (thankfully), but I can imagine how hard it must be.
Why, oh why, do humans gravitate to the darker side of life…
Luckily, I wrote a crap load of stupid stories that make me laugh, so I guess it balances out in the end. Hahaha.
That said, I don’t really know why I like to write about traumatised, mentally unstable or mentally unsound people. It’s interesting to write though.
The first time I ever cried writing my own story was in secondary school. Actually, it wasn’t my story. The character was a direct reference to my ex-neighbour. At the time I wrote the story, his grandmother had just passed away not too long ago, and when he talked to me about it, I felt like he was rather disturbed and depressed. I don’t know what my composition topic was, but I wrote his story and tried to imagine what he felt like. I ended up crying and writing it. I still remember my English teacher then, Ms Karen Ng, asking me if I feel for my characters when I write them.
I don’t remember when I wrote the next story, but recently I reread one of my old stories and felt depressed over it. It was about one guy who’d recently killed his friend. This friend is a total annoyance, but his friend was the one who accommodated him at his (friend) house when he was fleeing from his hometown for something else. His friend left him all of a sudden, and the next time they met, they were enemies. Wow, soap drama. Then anyway, he went back to his friend’s house, made dinner like he used to, and sat at the dinner table, waiting for his friend to come back. I made three endings for that just to make me feel better >< His friend was a supernatural being, so I made one where his friend did come back, one where his friend came back for revenge and the last where his friend was just, well, dead.
Today, I continued to write my freakishly long story. This story will never see the light, but anyway, I didn’t know writing about how a rape victim cannot resume a normal love life that easily was that depressing. Ugh. Felt so sad writing it. I’ve never met a single rape victim and his/her family members (thankfully), but I can imagine how hard it must be.
Why, oh why, do humans gravitate to the darker side of life…
Luckily, I wrote a crap load of stupid stories that make me laugh, so I guess it balances out in the end. Hahaha.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Youtube Recommended Me
...some Yaoi show called "Boku wo konomama kaeranai episode 2 of 3".
Yeah, yeah, why ever I was recommended that but anyway, I watched it since I was curious.
...HAHAHAHA wtf?! One of the gays is asked to go back to Singapore to live with his mother!! Of all places...SINGAPORE?!?!?
Anyway, it sure gets complicated when you think your boyfriend hates you for sleeping with his friend when the truth is, they're the ones with the complicated story.
...
*laughs*
Edit I just watched the whole thing. Here's the synopsis!
Ken is a male prostitute with a broken family background, and Ritsuro is his close friend. Moeko is Ritsuro's girlfriend. Sooo what happens is, Ken hits on Moeko, and Moeko sleeps with Ken. Then Ritsuro finds out and gets angry with both Moeko and Ken (because this is the fourth time Ken has stolen his girlfriend).
Then, in a totally random way, Ritsuro and Ken realise their feelings for each other, and Moeko finds out their relationship in a rather rude way--them kissing on the pedestrian road in the middle of nowhere!
The conclusion, I have no idea what really happened but, it seems that Ken has gone to Singapore, Moeko has cut her hair and wants Ritsuro to suffer the guilt of cheating on her with a guy and Ritsuro goes on with schooling.
Wow, what nerve. She blamed Ritsuro's distance for her own straying and when she finds out that Ritsuro is with Ken, she still want him to suffer the guilt of "sin"! What "sin"?! You asked for it! Go moeru somewhere you biatch!
Ken x Ritsuro, I approve! (If only because Moeko SUCKS!)
By the way, I watched the whole thing, and still cannot decide who's on top and who's passive. -.- (Maybe they decide by scissors-paper-stone.)
Yeah, yeah, why ever I was recommended that but anyway, I watched it since I was curious.
...HAHAHAHA wtf?! One of the gays is asked to go back to Singapore to live with his mother!! Of all places...SINGAPORE?!?!?
Anyway, it sure gets complicated when you think your boyfriend hates you for sleeping with his friend when the truth is, they're the ones with the complicated story.
...
*laughs*
Edit I just watched the whole thing. Here's the synopsis!
Ken is a male prostitute with a broken family background, and Ritsuro is his close friend. Moeko is Ritsuro's girlfriend. Sooo what happens is, Ken hits on Moeko, and Moeko sleeps with Ken. Then Ritsuro finds out and gets angry with both Moeko and Ken (because this is the fourth time Ken has stolen his girlfriend).
Then, in a totally random way, Ritsuro and Ken realise their feelings for each other, and Moeko finds out their relationship in a rather rude way--them kissing on the pedestrian road in the middle of nowhere!
The conclusion, I have no idea what really happened but, it seems that Ken has gone to Singapore, Moeko has cut her hair and wants Ritsuro to suffer the guilt of cheating on her with a guy and Ritsuro goes on with schooling.
Wow, what nerve. She blamed Ritsuro's distance for her own straying and when she finds out that Ritsuro is with Ken, she still want him to suffer the guilt of "sin"! What "sin"?! You asked for it! Go moeru somewhere you biatch!
Ken x Ritsuro, I approve! (If only because Moeko SUCKS!)
By the way, I watched the whole thing, and still cannot decide who's on top and who's passive. -.- (Maybe they decide by scissors-paper-stone.)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Small Talk
Once upon a time, I was in the toilet, when I overheard my colleagues’ conversation.
Colleague 1: You know, sometimes, I think my stomach is bloated and sometimes it’s flat!
Colleague 2: Ah I know. Must be because you ate very full that’s why bloated.
…
My thought process: Why your face so red? Ah I know. Must be because I slapped you!
It is a misconception that I am good at small talk. No. I am far from it. I consider the above example as typical small talk—and it is in no way easy to maintain. I can imagine what the conversation would look like if I were talking to colleague 1.
Colleague 1: You know, sometimes, I think my stomach is bloated and sometimes it’s flat!
Colleague 2: ? Why?
Colleague 1: I don’t know leh. Don’t know is it because I eat too full.
Colleague 2: Oh okay. *thinking* …Duh?
Colleague 1: … *silent* *do business* *exit toilet*
Another common kind of small talk that I fail terribly at looks like this:
Person: The weather sucks.
Me: Why? Raining?
Person: Yah.
Me: (I like rains though…even if I’m stranded outside…)
Person: Cannot even hang clothes out!
Me: It’s nice to sleep in during a rainy day though.
Person: True.
Me: …
Person: …
Me: …
Person: Have you eaten?
Me: Yeah. (Why are you asking me two hours after lunchtime?)
Person: What did you eat?
Me: ?! Erh, Nasi Bryani. You?
Person: U-Mian lor.
Me: Ok.
Person: …
Me: …
…How do people go on and on about bloated stomachs while I die at this type of conversations!?
I only appear good at small talks when the other person discloses a lot of personal info and stories after I post questions! The “who, what, when, why, how” are very good questions that can probe an entire thesis worth of stories out man. Hahaha.
Well, I kinda get the point that people engage in small talk; because the whole point of it is to have a conversation to erh, connect.
But I’m raised in an environment where conversation takes place in order to exchange information and get a point across, not so much to ‘connect’. Plus, my mother is very introverted, so her kind of conversation usually focuses on exploring one topic, rather than jumping topics and touching the surface of all of them.
I was also, somehow, raised with the idea that conversations are either like stories or based on a question-and-answer format, so small talk, which rarely raises or answers questions, has very little appeal to me.
So, coming back to the very original point of why I even wrote this out is that I’m both freaked out and intrigued by how people engage in pointless small talk. I’m still wondering if they have a certain technique they use to talk such obviously superficial conversation but still look comfortable with it. I’m not kidding when I say I feel a lot of stress thinking what to say for small talks but I’m very at ease writing this entire post.
It’s…it’s just weird how people walk into the toilet talking about bloated stomachs and walk out like they’ve just discovered that the sun rises from the east. Or was it the west? Oh fag. I forgot. Hahaha.
Colleague 1: You know, sometimes, I think my stomach is bloated and sometimes it’s flat!
Colleague 2: Ah I know. Must be because you ate very full that’s why bloated.
…
My thought process: Why your face so red? Ah I know. Must be because I slapped you!
It is a misconception that I am good at small talk. No. I am far from it. I consider the above example as typical small talk—and it is in no way easy to maintain. I can imagine what the conversation would look like if I were talking to colleague 1.
Colleague 1: You know, sometimes, I think my stomach is bloated and sometimes it’s flat!
Colleague 2: ? Why?
Colleague 1: I don’t know leh. Don’t know is it because I eat too full.
Colleague 2: Oh okay. *thinking* …Duh?
Colleague 1: … *silent* *do business* *exit toilet*
Another common kind of small talk that I fail terribly at looks like this:
Person: The weather sucks.
Me: Why? Raining?
Person: Yah.
Me: (I like rains though…even if I’m stranded outside…)
Person: Cannot even hang clothes out!
Me: It’s nice to sleep in during a rainy day though.
Person: True.
Me: …
Person: …
Me: …
Person: Have you eaten?
Me: Yeah. (Why are you asking me two hours after lunchtime?)
Person: What did you eat?
Me: ?! Erh, Nasi Bryani. You?
Person: U-Mian lor.
Me: Ok.
Person: …
Me: …
…How do people go on and on about bloated stomachs while I die at this type of conversations!?
I only appear good at small talks when the other person discloses a lot of personal info and stories after I post questions! The “who, what, when, why, how” are very good questions that can probe an entire thesis worth of stories out man. Hahaha.
Well, I kinda get the point that people engage in small talk; because the whole point of it is to have a conversation to erh, connect.
But I’m raised in an environment where conversation takes place in order to exchange information and get a point across, not so much to ‘connect’. Plus, my mother is very introverted, so her kind of conversation usually focuses on exploring one topic, rather than jumping topics and touching the surface of all of them.
I was also, somehow, raised with the idea that conversations are either like stories or based on a question-and-answer format, so small talk, which rarely raises or answers questions, has very little appeal to me.
So, coming back to the very original point of why I even wrote this out is that I’m both freaked out and intrigued by how people engage in pointless small talk. I’m still wondering if they have a certain technique they use to talk such obviously superficial conversation but still look comfortable with it. I’m not kidding when I say I feel a lot of stress thinking what to say for small talks but I’m very at ease writing this entire post.
It’s…it’s just weird how people walk into the toilet talking about bloated stomachs and walk out like they’ve just discovered that the sun rises from the east. Or was it the west? Oh fag. I forgot. Hahaha.
Nightmare
Last night, I had a nightmare. D:
I’d forgotten what dream it was. This morning, Liz said she finally had better sleep than the last two nights because she was actually sleeping and not drifting in between. As for me, I told her I probably slept more than the last two days, but I had a feeling it was a bad dream.
This is totally random, but thinking about what my colleagues just said about how maybe the leak of confidential governmental documents would spark a war reminded me of my dream!
I don’t remember what the start of the dream was, but I think I was in a building. It was either my office, or my school. Now that I think about it, maybe I was in an office building with my schoolmates o_o
Whatever it was, we received news and messages about how our area had been seized by a terrorist group, and that our building was going to be demolished. Some of us were skeptical, some started to panic, and the rest were just unsure and staring at one another.
Then someone asked a critical question, “Are we able to get out?”
Someone else answered, “Oh my god. I heard that the terrorist is going to capture us—every single one of us.”
Right after that, I saw a very huge drill looking thing far outside the window. D:
The drill aimed towards our building and made a super huge hole out of our building!! The ceiling started collapsing and there was debris falling all over the place! People started to run in a panic! Some jumped out of the window, some tried to avoid the drill and all that…
This part was kinda horrifying. I remember some people shouting that there was no way they were gonna be held captive and that they heard some people managed to escape the grip of the terrorists, so they were gonna escape and scatter in all different directions. Most of us had already got out of the building and were watching others still trying to get out while the drill reduced the building to nothing ><. Then we heard that some of those who tried to run were killed, so the rest who didn’t try to run were trying to warn the ones intending to run.
Then we turned to look… One of the terrorists spotted someone trying to run and without hearing him out, just shot his head.
D:
Wow. All of the rest of us survivors of the collapsing building gathered around with the terrorists surrounding us. We still heard some gunfire and people screaming to their deaths…
Then the next thing I knew, I was in a building where everyone was held in. I don’t remember what we were doing inside, but I kinda had the idea that we couldn’t get out. I think there were still people planning to get out though.
One thought that was kinda vivid throughout the whole ordeal though, was:
“This can’t be happening to me, right? And if it IS happening…I’ll come out okay in the end…right? I won’t be that lucky guy who gets shot without a chance to explain right?”
Then I woke up realising that I forgot to turn on my handphone alarm and I was late for work. Hahahaha.
Still, food for thought though. Through my dream, I realised my first reaction to crisis is denial and senseless hoping. D: Following that is a ‘wait-and-see’ attitude. Hmmm. Interesting.
I wonder what it would be like in reality. …Not that I want it to happen. @_@
I’d forgotten what dream it was. This morning, Liz said she finally had better sleep than the last two nights because she was actually sleeping and not drifting in between. As for me, I told her I probably slept more than the last two days, but I had a feeling it was a bad dream.
This is totally random, but thinking about what my colleagues just said about how maybe the leak of confidential governmental documents would spark a war reminded me of my dream!
I don’t remember what the start of the dream was, but I think I was in a building. It was either my office, or my school. Now that I think about it, maybe I was in an office building with my schoolmates o_o
Whatever it was, we received news and messages about how our area had been seized by a terrorist group, and that our building was going to be demolished. Some of us were skeptical, some started to panic, and the rest were just unsure and staring at one another.
Then someone asked a critical question, “Are we able to get out?”
Someone else answered, “Oh my god. I heard that the terrorist is going to capture us—every single one of us.”
Right after that, I saw a very huge drill looking thing far outside the window. D:
The drill aimed towards our building and made a super huge hole out of our building!! The ceiling started collapsing and there was debris falling all over the place! People started to run in a panic! Some jumped out of the window, some tried to avoid the drill and all that…
This part was kinda horrifying. I remember some people shouting that there was no way they were gonna be held captive and that they heard some people managed to escape the grip of the terrorists, so they were gonna escape and scatter in all different directions. Most of us had already got out of the building and were watching others still trying to get out while the drill reduced the building to nothing ><. Then we heard that some of those who tried to run were killed, so the rest who didn’t try to run were trying to warn the ones intending to run.
Then we turned to look… One of the terrorists spotted someone trying to run and without hearing him out, just shot his head.
D:
Wow. All of the rest of us survivors of the collapsing building gathered around with the terrorists surrounding us. We still heard some gunfire and people screaming to their deaths…
Then the next thing I knew, I was in a building where everyone was held in. I don’t remember what we were doing inside, but I kinda had the idea that we couldn’t get out. I think there were still people planning to get out though.
One thought that was kinda vivid throughout the whole ordeal though, was:
“This can’t be happening to me, right? And if it IS happening…I’ll come out okay in the end…right? I won’t be that lucky guy who gets shot without a chance to explain right?”
Then I woke up realising that I forgot to turn on my handphone alarm and I was late for work. Hahahaha.
Still, food for thought though. Through my dream, I realised my first reaction to crisis is denial and senseless hoping. D: Following that is a ‘wait-and-see’ attitude. Hmmm. Interesting.
I wonder what it would be like in reality. …Not that I want it to happen. @_@
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I feel so bad for ants
I was wondering why a whole trail of ants was playing catching in front of me below my keyboard.
Then I remembered a very important thing:
An empty cup that hosted rather sweet barley drink was left beside my mouse.
Holy bangsai.
I went to grab the cup and looked in--HOLY!!! The ants thought it was the best place for a holiday resort!
Liz, who absolutely hates having ants running all over our room (or house, even), unleashed upon them her wrath--by pouring some water into the cup.
...I watched ants float and struggle in the water.
Ohhhh myy goooddd I feeel so baaaadddd DDDD:
On a side note, anyone has any good ideas for getting rid of ants from the house? I really hate to have to be the mass murderer of ants =_=... (To this date, I still can't really bring myself to kill them. ._.)
Then I remembered a very important thing:
An empty cup that hosted rather sweet barley drink was left beside my mouse.
Holy bangsai.
I went to grab the cup and looked in--HOLY!!! The ants thought it was the best place for a holiday resort!
Liz, who absolutely hates having ants running all over our room (or house, even), unleashed upon them her wrath--by pouring some water into the cup.
...I watched ants float and struggle in the water.
Ohhhh myy goooddd I feeel so baaaadddd DDDD:
On a side note, anyone has any good ideas for getting rid of ants from the house? I really hate to have to be the mass murderer of ants =_=... (To this date, I still can't really bring myself to kill them. ._.)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Difference Between Male and Female...
...orgasm.
NOW.
Before you tell yourself, "NOOOOO NOT ANOTHER OF NETTE'S DISGUSTING ENDEAVOURSSS" and shut yourself out from this wonderful piece of information...please, hear me out. Do not question why and how I stumbled upon this video.
What is most important is, it's a really good video.
Even Liz, who usually gives me the X_O face when I talk about questionable things, cracked up and laughed super loudly to this video.
Now, in all glory of the differences.
Amen.
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
NOW.
Before you tell yourself, "NOOOOO NOT ANOTHER OF NETTE'S DISGUSTING ENDEAVOURSSS" and shut yourself out from this wonderful piece of information...please, hear me out. Do not question why and how I stumbled upon this video.
What is most important is, it's a really good video.
Even Liz, who usually gives me the X_O face when I talk about questionable things, cracked up and laughed super loudly to this video.
Now, in all glory of the differences.
Amen.
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
Teen Violence Recently
Recently, there are far too many pieces of news about teen violence.
I’ve only ever skimmed through the comments at Fit-to-Post (Yahoo! News). The most common responses are:
What are the police doing?
The police should go on more patrols.
There should be a curfew on youths.
Schools should educate the students.
Parents should educate their children.
I would be surprised if anyone making that statement thinks they aren’t echoing somebody else’s opinion, because anyone with any good sense would know that just about anyone can come up with those. Then again, we need these opinions so everyone who wants to bounce off the same kind of thoughts can just like their comments.
Then a whole bunch of people is guessing why teens are involved in violence.
Schools don’t give enough homework, so they end up roaming the streets.
Their parents didn’t watch out for them!
In my time, there was far less violence, so it must be video games.
Etc, etc
And the last type of responses is of people who are simply clueless.
I wrote a whole chunk of opinions and as usual, I got myself lost in a personal debate. It’s worth close to 5 pages on winword with Verdana 9 font type.
Anyway, here’s what I think the reason why teenagers are turning to violence is.
The main reason is…
Nobody cares.
Hell. Most of us don’t even know why the fuck we exist. We just know our parents were in the mood to bang and procreate. We are probably tokens of love between them both or something, accidents of a loose condom or an extremely powerful headshot on our fathers’ parts.
…But seriously. Much of life is progressing towards a depressing direction. Plagues, disasters, stress, rat races, competition…
The question is…why do we do what we do?
No matter how scientific some people want to make it sound, the reasons and motivations are emotional. We don’t experience life with logic…do we?
And since nobody really cares about anything these days…doesn’t it tell us that our children today are emotionally dysfunctional?
Is it really about the lack of police and the lack of law enforcement? Is it really the media? Is it really the school? Or is it our parents?
The question is, are our parents even emotionally functional themselves? Where did they come from?
…Again, who cares?
And so, we will observe this trend, and it will pass, only to be replaced by another depressing trend. Maybe the new trend would be men who find wearing bra a sport and women these days enjoy dating gigolos.
I’ve only ever skimmed through the comments at Fit-to-Post (Yahoo! News). The most common responses are:
What are the police doing?
The police should go on more patrols.
There should be a curfew on youths.
Schools should educate the students.
Parents should educate their children.
I would be surprised if anyone making that statement thinks they aren’t echoing somebody else’s opinion, because anyone with any good sense would know that just about anyone can come up with those. Then again, we need these opinions so everyone who wants to bounce off the same kind of thoughts can just like their comments.
Then a whole bunch of people is guessing why teens are involved in violence.
Schools don’t give enough homework, so they end up roaming the streets.
Their parents didn’t watch out for them!
In my time, there was far less violence, so it must be video games.
Etc, etc
And the last type of responses is of people who are simply clueless.
I wrote a whole chunk of opinions and as usual, I got myself lost in a personal debate. It’s worth close to 5 pages on winword with Verdana 9 font type.
Anyway, here’s what I think the reason why teenagers are turning to violence is.
The main reason is…
Nobody cares.
Hell. Most of us don’t even know why the fuck we exist. We just know our parents were in the mood to bang and procreate. We are probably tokens of love between them both or something, accidents of a loose condom or an extremely powerful headshot on our fathers’ parts.
…But seriously. Much of life is progressing towards a depressing direction. Plagues, disasters, stress, rat races, competition…
The question is…why do we do what we do?
No matter how scientific some people want to make it sound, the reasons and motivations are emotional. We don’t experience life with logic…do we?
And since nobody really cares about anything these days…doesn’t it tell us that our children today are emotionally dysfunctional?
Is it really about the lack of police and the lack of law enforcement? Is it really the media? Is it really the school? Or is it our parents?
The question is, are our parents even emotionally functional themselves? Where did they come from?
…Again, who cares?
And so, we will observe this trend, and it will pass, only to be replaced by another depressing trend. Maybe the new trend would be men who find wearing bra a sport and women these days enjoy dating gigolos.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tortoise and the Hare
Since I was young, I've never liked this story.
As far as I was aware, I internalised the story far more than I needed to.
My teacher fed us the moral of the story:
As the hare, don't ever be self-conceited.
As the tortoise, don't ever give up.
But I was always uncomfortable at the thought: What if the hare weren't self-conceited?
It's a no-brainer: The hare would have won the race.
On the same grounds, the hare would already have far more potential than the turtle. Until the tortoise's limbs turned into hot wheels, the tortoise would never go anywhere with what it had.
I discussed this with my mother, who tried to shut me and my philosophical pursuit up with this: "It's just teaching you about attitudes."
Yeah... Okay. I get the drift it's about attitudes. But... I'm still very disturbed that the teacher's conclusion was that we should all be the tortoise.
I can't believe I'm feeling very conflicted and overwhelmed as I think more about the subject. I probably should stop my entry here before I concuss from thinking over some childhood story.
As far as I was aware, I internalised the story far more than I needed to.
My teacher fed us the moral of the story:
As the hare, don't ever be self-conceited.
As the tortoise, don't ever give up.
But I was always uncomfortable at the thought: What if the hare weren't self-conceited?
It's a no-brainer: The hare would have won the race.
On the same grounds, the hare would already have far more potential than the turtle. Until the tortoise's limbs turned into hot wheels, the tortoise would never go anywhere with what it had.
I discussed this with my mother, who tried to shut me and my philosophical pursuit up with this: "It's just teaching you about attitudes."
Yeah... Okay. I get the drift it's about attitudes. But... I'm still very disturbed that the teacher's conclusion was that we should all be the tortoise.
I can't believe I'm feeling very conflicted and overwhelmed as I think more about the subject. I probably should stop my entry here before I concuss from thinking over some childhood story.
Not So Bright Today
I accumulated 11 days of leave. Yeah, despite being a temp staff, I accumulated that much. I even used 2 half days, which equate to one day.
Today, the HR manager came to break a news to me.
Everything said, in summary, one girl in HR department messed up.
I am not entitled to the leave accumulation programme.
That girl, whoever she is, even kept a record of the number of days of leave I accumulated for one ****ing year before she resigned and before the rest of the HR department discovered this event conveniently labelled as a mistake.
Doesn't it sound exactly like POSB bank scam?
I got a tiny compensation for this one blunder. But seriously. I don't care about the compensation. I have subjected myself to this shortchange for two years now that everyone is completely mystified every time they ask me about my job.
This isn't the first time they give me one news only to round it up with "oops, our bad."
Last time, they calculated my pay based on the wrong rate. Then they broke the news to me, telling me how instead of the normal rate, they accidentally calculated based on OT rate. They took one month to realise it, and said they would deduct from my next month.
Fortunately, I don't spend all I have at hand, because the amount they slashed was enough for me to feel like I worked for free.
I think the HR manager felt pretty bad about the leave thing that she probably put in a word for me to get some form of compensation. I don't know. At least that looks like it. She's also been trying to get a perm status for me I think. No idea... I'm just floating around as it is.
Do I feel victimised? Partly so, but not rightfully. After all, this is all just pros and cons of the choice I made. I just felt like talking about it, so that my preoccupation with it would magically be transferred to the internet and I would forget about it.
The bigger reason why I feel annoyed, strangely, is that I come home, ready to flop on the bed to nap for 30 minutes (I have been struggling to stay awake while standing in the bus during the entire trip home)...when my mother shoved a mop in my hand and said because she fried fish, she's gonna have me mop the entire house.
I'm super annoyed, so I'm here blogging. No, I don't blame her for wanting me to help out with the housework. I barely do it anyway. It's just a bad coincidence that I had not a very nice day, I'm fighting fatigue and now I'm going to cut my life short for five years, which isn't exactly bad news but not that good a news either. I'm imagining that I've been left to my own misery without being understood.
It's kinda creepy even to me how sometimes the way I talk about my feelings is like I'm talking about Science. My eyes are just goddamned tired.
Now to get the fucking floor out of the way before I rest my eyes for a bit.
Today, the HR manager came to break a news to me.
Everything said, in summary, one girl in HR department messed up.
I am not entitled to the leave accumulation programme.
That girl, whoever she is, even kept a record of the number of days of leave I accumulated for one ****ing year before she resigned and before the rest of the HR department discovered this event conveniently labelled as a mistake.
Doesn't it sound exactly like POSB bank scam?
I got a tiny compensation for this one blunder. But seriously. I don't care about the compensation. I have subjected myself to this shortchange for two years now that everyone is completely mystified every time they ask me about my job.
This isn't the first time they give me one news only to round it up with "oops, our bad."
Last time, they calculated my pay based on the wrong rate. Then they broke the news to me, telling me how instead of the normal rate, they accidentally calculated based on OT rate. They took one month to realise it, and said they would deduct from my next month.
Fortunately, I don't spend all I have at hand, because the amount they slashed was enough for me to feel like I worked for free.
I think the HR manager felt pretty bad about the leave thing that she probably put in a word for me to get some form of compensation. I don't know. At least that looks like it. She's also been trying to get a perm status for me I think. No idea... I'm just floating around as it is.
Do I feel victimised? Partly so, but not rightfully. After all, this is all just pros and cons of the choice I made. I just felt like talking about it, so that my preoccupation with it would magically be transferred to the internet and I would forget about it.
The bigger reason why I feel annoyed, strangely, is that I come home, ready to flop on the bed to nap for 30 minutes (I have been struggling to stay awake while standing in the bus during the entire trip home)...when my mother shoved a mop in my hand and said because she fried fish, she's gonna have me mop the entire house.
I'm super annoyed, so I'm here blogging. No, I don't blame her for wanting me to help out with the housework. I barely do it anyway. It's just a bad coincidence that I had not a very nice day, I'm fighting fatigue and now I'm going to cut my life short for five years, which isn't exactly bad news but not that good a news either. I'm imagining that I've been left to my own misery without being understood.
It's kinda creepy even to me how sometimes the way I talk about my feelings is like I'm talking about Science. My eyes are just goddamned tired.
Now to get the fucking floor out of the way before I rest my eyes for a bit.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Continuation
I had wanted to blog straight after the previous post, but alas...I forgot what I was doing that eventually, I forgot to continue.
So, anyway, after the party, we went to McDonald's for a drink since the birthday cake was really damn sweet that we became thirsty. I think the amount we talked was enough to render our drinking useless.
I don't remember the content in its entirety. But the meeting itself means more to me than just another catch up. I think for us, we became aware of things, of things that help us all feel less alone and more understood.
To be honest, I've never had conversations quite like that, or at least, for the longest of time. It's so strange. How can we all agree with one another, and even more strangely, know what everyone was gonna say even before we say it, such that we can voice one another's thoughts more or less accurately? How do we manage to observe similar things?
I thought I had more to say. But I guess when I think about it, I can only feel the moment, and not so much describe it. Oh well.
And now, back to my reclusive habits. ^^
So, anyway, after the party, we went to McDonald's for a drink since the birthday cake was really damn sweet that we became thirsty. I think the amount we talked was enough to render our drinking useless.
I don't remember the content in its entirety. But the meeting itself means more to me than just another catch up. I think for us, we became aware of things, of things that help us all feel less alone and more understood.
To be honest, I've never had conversations quite like that, or at least, for the longest of time. It's so strange. How can we all agree with one another, and even more strangely, know what everyone was gonna say even before we say it, such that we can voice one another's thoughts more or less accurately? How do we manage to observe similar things?
I thought I had more to say. But I guess when I think about it, I can only feel the moment, and not so much describe it. Oh well.
And now, back to my reclusive habits. ^^
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Wei Jun's 18th Birthday Party
Last night, I went for Wei Jun’s 18th birthday party at the Savannah Condo. Wow. I made one huge haunted detour around the private housing area, got barked at by random dogs and was stared at by creepy residents with soulless eyes. After one walk there, I think I was filming paranoia activity. (No, I’ve never watched paranormal activity)
So I eventually reached the event location. Tofu, spring onion and onion make the world go round!
Wow. Quite frankly, I have never in my life attended such an organised birthday party with programmes designed. It seriously freaked me out at the onset haaahahaha. If I remember right, the events were
+ Small performance by his childhood friends
+ Mini trivia about Wei Jun with six questions
+ Act out Wei Jun’s reaction
+ 10 randomly selected contestants to do a mini catwalk contest
+ A slideshow of Wei Jun’s photos and video clips of him
+ A lucky draw session
+ And the mandatory photo taking followed up by cake cutting
Hmm, I feel like I missed out something. Wow. I think they forgot to include book colouring contest!
Mini performance cracked Li Hong and me up all the way. (I think Jermain was laughing too. But then, right now, I think of him as the perma-giggly-man.) Sibeh funny. Their sincerity was most definitely felt, but the performance was just crack weed. Beat-boxing was very nice * . * By the way, my poly classmates taught me how to beat box. Repeat this: “Bu zi ka zi”
I cannot remember all of the six random questions anymore. Let me see.
1. What is Wei Jun’s favourite colour? Orange!
2. What are Wei Jun’s expressions of shock, happiness and being unsure? :O :D :S
3. What is his height and waist size? 171cm, I didn’t catch the waist O.O
4. How many times in a day does he call Hilary? 7~10 times
5. What are the terms of endearment he gives to Hilary? Baby girl and mama
6. What is his favourite toy? Dumdum or dumbdumb, whichever applies.
Wow, like that called cannot remember.
I don’t know who or what is dumdum, but do you want gumgum?
Anyway, the expression one was damn funny. Auntie Jane (Hilary’s mother) acted them out. I’ve never seen Wei Jun’s happiness expression before, but it was… … Okay, more like, it’s now mimic worthy. Jermain would be very happy to demo.
Now… While I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I’m very ‘weirded’ out by the fact that two eighteen-year-olds are acting like 老夫老妻 (old husband old wife). Hahaha. Personally, even if I were attached, I don’t think I’d ever enjoy people calling me honey baby sweetheart pooh pooh gaga. So, I was and still am totally alienated by the idea that junior one is calling junior two baby girl. But we think he has an ulterior motive for calling Hilary ‘Mama.’ His explanation is that because she takes care of him. Hah. You think we three years old easy to cheat meh. Remember to send us full month free cake to claim from Bengawan Solo leh. Best is every year for the next 11 years also have. I heard that they have already planned what they want. I don’t know what they want, but since they look very enthu, I think they probably want to make a soccer team.
Oh, another thing I find O_O?! worthy is that…
Wei Jun…calls Hilary… 7 – 10 times A DAY!?!?!?!?!
!??!?!?! ?!? !? ?! ?!
What does he talk about on the phone???
“Hello baby girl. I’m gonna hang up and call you again.”
“Hello mama. There! Where do I meet you for lunch?”
“Hello mama girl, I’ve reached canteen 1. Oh you’re at canteen 2? Never mind, I’ll fly there!”
“Hello mama baby, I’ve reached, where are you?”
“Hello baby girl, I’m going home. Want to meet up?”
“Hello mama, have you reached home?”
“Hello baby girl, the show has started! Let’s gossip about the show until it ends!”
“Hello mama, I’m going to sleep. NIGHT NIGHT MWACK KISS LOVE OOO”
Wow, that sounds totally whacked. I hope that’s not the actual thing. Hahaha.
So, we moved on to the next event. Auntie Jane’s task:
“How would Wei Jun react if he accidentally stumbled into the female toilet, or if he gets walked in by a girl in the middle of a business? The former happened before!”
… …
Well, if it’s the latter, and if the girl who walked in is Hilary, he might smile and say, “Would you like to join in?”
I don’t know man. Hahaha. Whoever was dragged up to the front to act was pretty convincing though.
Moving on to the catwalk contest… ARGHHH I’M SAD! I’M DISAPPOINTED! WHY!!! WHY DIDN’T HUI QIN DO THE CATWALK!!! IT WOULD’VE SATISFIED MY SADISTIC NEED TO LAUGH!!!
Whatever it is, I voted for the winner that Wei Jun picked out! I agree… He walks more with style! Mwahaha.
…The slideshow. Until now, the “Skype with Hilary” moments are still stuck in my head. I can so totally feel the horror if the faces there were mine. I mean. I mean, I don’t know what kind of things I do on a daily basis. It’s a, terrifying thought. The worst imagery stuck in my head is Wei Jun sitting sideways trying to reveal his ‘sexy legs’, except he looks more like he’s playing with rubber ducky in a bath tub. Those silly kiss faces weren’t even half as bad. I don’t know what kind of things Hilary was thinking. I seriously wonder if she was laughing in disgusted humor, giggling and calling him a hunk or giggling her innards out. Seriously don’t know.
(By the way, I just right clicked hunk and looked for synonyms: piece, chunk, lump, slab. To clear confusion, I went to dictionary.com. I’m not so confused anymore but…y’know.)
As for the lucky draw session, I…must say that of the whole thing, the most impressionable and funny thing that I remember from it was actually…Wei Jun’s beat boxing childhood friend.
Wei Jun: 182…
Friend: *grabs ticket in a dramatic fashion, hand trembling and eyes staring really hard at ticket*
Wei Jun: 4.
Friend: *releases ticket listlessly and ticket floats down smoothly*
HAHAHAHA he probably thinks no one saw it! But it cracked me up! What was damn ironic was, the one who won it was another guy sitting right in front of him! (Dunno if that guy was another childhood friend)
And so, the cake cutting and photo taking. I don’t remember what the incredibly long speech Wei Jun was giving was about, but he said one thing that Jermain, Li Hong and I started to gossip about:
“I’ve waited eighteen years for this day!”
…
Li Hong: So next year, he would’ve waited 19years?
That’s a really long wait, dude.
Ah. And on popular request, Wei Jun kissed Hilary. Wanna know my thoughts?
//WARNING M18// (Actually, unless you’re Emily, you probably meet the age requirement to read this)
Tsk. Bad kisser. Don’t just bash against her lah. Go Youtube, search for related subjects and you might bring a better watch for all of us. ^^
//END WARNING//
Then again, both sides’ parents were there, so maybe actually, they wanted to do the full 18 second TVCM of Wei Jun x Hilary, but alas, circumstances is such that…
…they don’t want Auntie Jane to film them and upload in the slideshow for the next birthday party!?
(Yeah, I could tell that she was really super excited about Wei Jun)
And so, we ate this super sweet chocolate cake. My suspicion is, Hilary baked it. Because it was so damn sweet, we were asking for more Ching Teng or whatever you call it in hanyunpinyin or English.
OHHHH
I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I FORGOT!!!
Wei Jun’s parents, Hilary’s parents and dunno one or two more guys (Mr. Alvin?) performed this song for Wei Jun and in the middle, his father made a speech about how much they love him. Aww.
After that, I dunno why the flute section very weird. We went all the way to an artificial volcano to take photos in total darkness. Like that also shuang. Because of fake volcano, we missed the glorious moment of Wei Jun getting dumped into the pool. u.u
On a side note, one of the most satisfying things of the whole event…is passing the secret photos to Jermain and Huiqin to see. I don’t know which event that they started viewing the photos, but they looked like they were gonna die from implosion. Soooo satisfying!! Wahhh when we were returning the photos to Wei Jun, we told him we had a surprise for him. Wow. He really looked so happy. Then we started blackmailing. HAHAHA Wei Jun… Give us 11 years of Bengawan Solo Cake, or you won’t know what’s gonna be on the birthday slideshows in future…
Hmm.
I think if his 18th birthday already so dong dong qiang, won’t his 21st one take place in some grand ballroom? We might have a 3D rendered with real life action fully cinematic 60 FPS Fully HD life story to watch on a super large dome shaped screen and we’d have to wear 3D glasses to view it!
Sadly, the content might be of him jutting his ass into the Skype window. Phew. *fans air* Fully HD some more.
After that, Manning, Hq, Amanda, Li Hong, Jermain and I made our way out… Super loooonnngg walk. Mn and Amanda took the bus from Simei, while the rest of us walked to 201. Hq took bus from there, and the rest of us…sat our asses down comfortably at Mac and forgot all concept of space and time (!?!??!)
I shall wrap this post up first before I start on a new one. You know? I think Hq is very entertaining to watch. Walk behind her, and you will notice very strange flailing of arms and talking to herself. And when we asked her why she walks like that, she looked oh wow totally surprised, “Got meh???” And I agree with Jermain… She can go to Taiwan and be a random salesgirl and nobody will know she’s from Singapore! Hahaha.
Okay, that’s about it for the entire birthday party.
Now, you’re old. Your next mission is still to bring us free full month Bengawan Solo cake… 11 ones, no less. Or our parang you shall eat!
So I eventually reached the event location. Tofu, spring onion and onion make the world go round!
Wow. Quite frankly, I have never in my life attended such an organised birthday party with programmes designed. It seriously freaked me out at the onset haaahahaha. If I remember right, the events were
+ Small performance by his childhood friends
+ Mini trivia about Wei Jun with six questions
+ Act out Wei Jun’s reaction
+ 10 randomly selected contestants to do a mini catwalk contest
+ A slideshow of Wei Jun’s photos and video clips of him
+ A lucky draw session
+ And the mandatory photo taking followed up by cake cutting
Hmm, I feel like I missed out something. Wow. I think they forgot to include book colouring contest!
Mini performance cracked Li Hong and me up all the way. (I think Jermain was laughing too. But then, right now, I think of him as the perma-giggly-man.) Sibeh funny. Their sincerity was most definitely felt, but the performance was just crack weed. Beat-boxing was very nice * . * By the way, my poly classmates taught me how to beat box. Repeat this: “Bu zi ka zi”
I cannot remember all of the six random questions anymore. Let me see.
1. What is Wei Jun’s favourite colour? Orange!
2. What are Wei Jun’s expressions of shock, happiness and being unsure? :O :D :S
3. What is his height and waist size? 171cm, I didn’t catch the waist O.O
4. How many times in a day does he call Hilary? 7~10 times
5. What are the terms of endearment he gives to Hilary? Baby girl and mama
6. What is his favourite toy? Dumdum or dumbdumb, whichever applies.
Wow, like that called cannot remember.
I don’t know who or what is dumdum, but do you want gumgum?
Anyway, the expression one was damn funny. Auntie Jane (Hilary’s mother) acted them out. I’ve never seen Wei Jun’s happiness expression before, but it was… … Okay, more like, it’s now mimic worthy. Jermain would be very happy to demo.
Now… While I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I’m very ‘weirded’ out by the fact that two eighteen-year-olds are acting like 老夫老妻 (old husband old wife). Hahaha. Personally, even if I were attached, I don’t think I’d ever enjoy people calling me honey baby sweetheart pooh pooh gaga. So, I was and still am totally alienated by the idea that junior one is calling junior two baby girl. But we think he has an ulterior motive for calling Hilary ‘Mama.’ His explanation is that because she takes care of him. Hah. You think we three years old easy to cheat meh. Remember to send us full month free cake to claim from Bengawan Solo leh. Best is every year for the next 11 years also have. I heard that they have already planned what they want. I don’t know what they want, but since they look very enthu, I think they probably want to make a soccer team.
Oh, another thing I find O_O?! worthy is that…
Wei Jun…calls Hilary… 7 – 10 times A DAY!?!?!?!?!
!??!?!?! ?!? !? ?! ?!
What does he talk about on the phone???
“Hello baby girl. I’m gonna hang up and call you again.”
“Hello mama. There! Where do I meet you for lunch?”
“Hello mama girl, I’ve reached canteen 1. Oh you’re at canteen 2? Never mind, I’ll fly there!”
“Hello mama baby, I’ve reached, where are you?”
“Hello baby girl, I’m going home. Want to meet up?”
“Hello mama, have you reached home?”
“Hello baby girl, the show has started! Let’s gossip about the show until it ends!”
“Hello mama, I’m going to sleep. NIGHT NIGHT MWACK KISS LOVE OOO”
Wow, that sounds totally whacked. I hope that’s not the actual thing. Hahaha.
So, we moved on to the next event. Auntie Jane’s task:
“How would Wei Jun react if he accidentally stumbled into the female toilet, or if he gets walked in by a girl in the middle of a business? The former happened before!”
… …
Well, if it’s the latter, and if the girl who walked in is Hilary, he might smile and say, “Would you like to join in?”
I don’t know man. Hahaha. Whoever was dragged up to the front to act was pretty convincing though.
Moving on to the catwalk contest… ARGHHH I’M SAD! I’M DISAPPOINTED! WHY!!! WHY DIDN’T HUI QIN DO THE CATWALK!!! IT WOULD’VE SATISFIED MY SADISTIC NEED TO LAUGH!!!
Whatever it is, I voted for the winner that Wei Jun picked out! I agree… He walks more with style! Mwahaha.
…The slideshow. Until now, the “Skype with Hilary” moments are still stuck in my head. I can so totally feel the horror if the faces there were mine. I mean. I mean, I don’t know what kind of things I do on a daily basis. It’s a, terrifying thought. The worst imagery stuck in my head is Wei Jun sitting sideways trying to reveal his ‘sexy legs’, except he looks more like he’s playing with rubber ducky in a bath tub. Those silly kiss faces weren’t even half as bad. I don’t know what kind of things Hilary was thinking. I seriously wonder if she was laughing in disgusted humor, giggling and calling him a hunk or giggling her innards out. Seriously don’t know.
(By the way, I just right clicked hunk and looked for synonyms: piece, chunk, lump, slab. To clear confusion, I went to dictionary.com. I’m not so confused anymore but…y’know.)
As for the lucky draw session, I…must say that of the whole thing, the most impressionable and funny thing that I remember from it was actually…Wei Jun’s beat boxing childhood friend.
Wei Jun: 182…
Friend: *grabs ticket in a dramatic fashion, hand trembling and eyes staring really hard at ticket*
Wei Jun: 4.
Friend: *releases ticket listlessly and ticket floats down smoothly*
HAHAHAHA he probably thinks no one saw it! But it cracked me up! What was damn ironic was, the one who won it was another guy sitting right in front of him! (Dunno if that guy was another childhood friend)
And so, the cake cutting and photo taking. I don’t remember what the incredibly long speech Wei Jun was giving was about, but he said one thing that Jermain, Li Hong and I started to gossip about:
“I’ve waited eighteen years for this day!”
…
Li Hong: So next year, he would’ve waited 19years?
That’s a really long wait, dude.
Ah. And on popular request, Wei Jun kissed Hilary. Wanna know my thoughts?
//WARNING M18// (Actually, unless you’re Emily, you probably meet the age requirement to read this)
Tsk. Bad kisser. Don’t just bash against her lah. Go Youtube, search for related subjects and you might bring a better watch for all of us. ^^
//END WARNING//
Then again, both sides’ parents were there, so maybe actually, they wanted to do the full 18 second TVCM of Wei Jun x Hilary, but alas, circumstances is such that…
…they don’t want Auntie Jane to film them and upload in the slideshow for the next birthday party!?
(Yeah, I could tell that she was really super excited about Wei Jun)
And so, we ate this super sweet chocolate cake. My suspicion is, Hilary baked it. Because it was so damn sweet, we were asking for more Ching Teng or whatever you call it in hanyunpinyin or English.
OHHHH
I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I FORGOT!!!
Wei Jun’s parents, Hilary’s parents and dunno one or two more guys (Mr. Alvin?) performed this song for Wei Jun and in the middle, his father made a speech about how much they love him. Aww.
After that, I dunno why the flute section very weird. We went all the way to an artificial volcano to take photos in total darkness. Like that also shuang. Because of fake volcano, we missed the glorious moment of Wei Jun getting dumped into the pool. u.u
On a side note, one of the most satisfying things of the whole event…is passing the secret photos to Jermain and Huiqin to see. I don’t know which event that they started viewing the photos, but they looked like they were gonna die from implosion. Soooo satisfying!! Wahhh when we were returning the photos to Wei Jun, we told him we had a surprise for him. Wow. He really looked so happy. Then we started blackmailing. HAHAHA Wei Jun… Give us 11 years of Bengawan Solo Cake, or you won’t know what’s gonna be on the birthday slideshows in future…
Hmm.
I think if his 18th birthday already so dong dong qiang, won’t his 21st one take place in some grand ballroom? We might have a 3D rendered with real life action fully cinematic 60 FPS Fully HD life story to watch on a super large dome shaped screen and we’d have to wear 3D glasses to view it!
Sadly, the content might be of him jutting his ass into the Skype window. Phew. *fans air* Fully HD some more.
After that, Manning, Hq, Amanda, Li Hong, Jermain and I made our way out… Super loooonnngg walk. Mn and Amanda took the bus from Simei, while the rest of us walked to 201. Hq took bus from there, and the rest of us…sat our asses down comfortably at Mac and forgot all concept of space and time (!?!??!)
I shall wrap this post up first before I start on a new one. You know? I think Hq is very entertaining to watch. Walk behind her, and you will notice very strange flailing of arms and talking to herself. And when we asked her why she walks like that, she looked oh wow totally surprised, “Got meh???” And I agree with Jermain… She can go to Taiwan and be a random salesgirl and nobody will know she’s from Singapore! Hahaha.
Okay, that’s about it for the entire birthday party.
Now, you’re old. Your next mission is still to bring us free full month Bengawan Solo cake… 11 ones, no less. Or our parang you shall eat!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Just for the record
It's totally weird that I chose my own birthday cake, knew the prices, and celebrated it just last night in a time span of less than five minutes.
The weirdest part was, it wasn't even my birthday. :V
The weirdest part was, it wasn't even my birthday. :V
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Saturday Morning
I'm waiting for Liz to get up so we can maybe get some Mc breakfast.
Meantime, as of recently, I'd have some quiet time to myself. It's...like the period of time when teachers mark your exam papers. Quiet. But the process of reviewing is ongoing, and then you wait for the result.
Except, I'm now the marker of my own papers... And I don't have a marking guide to know if I'm marking correctly. Haha.
I spent a bit of time writing a few stories, some of which will never see the light of anywhere. Could be the weather, could be the silence, but either way, I'm very much in the mood to write sad and emotional stories. It's funny how when I switch myself to be in the mood to write funny stories, it only lasts that long--the duration of that story. And then I go back to feeling what I felt previously.
A few thoughts have been running through my mind for a while now, in no chronological order.
Sometimes, I wonder if my temper really scares people that much. I don't like how it intimidates others, but I don't know how else to protect myself.
I keep friends, until I perceive I have been forsaken, taken for granted, or that I would only get hurt maintaining the friendship in the end.
I think I feel bad more than I ever need to.
...I think I need to wash up and eat. Damn you Liz... We missed Mc Breakfast today. Next attempt is either next Wednesday or two weeks later.
:(
Meantime, as of recently, I'd have some quiet time to myself. It's...like the period of time when teachers mark your exam papers. Quiet. But the process of reviewing is ongoing, and then you wait for the result.
Except, I'm now the marker of my own papers... And I don't have a marking guide to know if I'm marking correctly. Haha.
I spent a bit of time writing a few stories, some of which will never see the light of anywhere. Could be the weather, could be the silence, but either way, I'm very much in the mood to write sad and emotional stories. It's funny how when I switch myself to be in the mood to write funny stories, it only lasts that long--the duration of that story. And then I go back to feeling what I felt previously.
A few thoughts have been running through my mind for a while now, in no chronological order.
Sometimes, I wonder if my temper really scares people that much. I don't like how it intimidates others, but I don't know how else to protect myself.
I keep friends, until I perceive I have been forsaken, taken for granted, or that I would only get hurt maintaining the friendship in the end.
I think I feel bad more than I ever need to.
...I think I need to wash up and eat. Damn you Liz... We missed Mc Breakfast today. Next attempt is either next Wednesday or two weeks later.
:(
Friday, November 12, 2010
Of Dreams and Attitudes
After a very recent conversation with a friend, I decided to compose my thoughts here. I don’t know if you’d drop by to read, but anyway.
I’m not comfortable with posting raw and honest thoughts. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve written five chunks of paragraph only to delete them with a few keys. I don’t like disclosing myself like this. It’s too weird. Random banter, yes. Private and personal thoughts, maybe not.
Okay. I just wrote that, and I’ve deleted ten paragraphs of things. I don’t think anyone has the patience to read through ten paragraphs of philosophical nonsense.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Messy mood
Yeah... I know someone talked to me about this before, how I should start connecting with myself, be honest with what I feel and recondition myself to think and feel otherwise.
But the more I think about it, the more I don't want to think about it. I've been feeling fatigued for a couple of days straight now. I can't even wake up to the alarm anymore. I don't know why I've been feeling so tired.
It's just, sometimes, I feel this impulse to erase all traces of my existence. No, not literally suicide of course =.= As in, removing this blog, removing everything on the web connected to me.
I'm leaving this blog entry as it is so I can remind myself to finally delete my Friendster. The reason I don't want to start a Facebook is cuz I'd probably eventually delete it anyway.
I should talk less. I haven't been talking much these days. I simply don't feel like it. Today, a friend called me and talked totally random stuff before he came to his main point that I knew he wanted to address, "Stop ignoring my SMS-es!" It's half true when I told him that I forgot about his messages (because 90% of the time I check my HP, I'm playing game). "Yah yah, purposely one right!" Hahaha. Yeah. It was on purpose. Knowing myself, I set myself up to forget it.
But the prime reason? I don't really want to talk about my life. Everything's the same. My job. My hobby. My life. My view points. It's the same. Nothing's changed. Now I don't deny he was showing concern. Much appreciated. I feel bad. But. It's just, I don't have...things to talk about anymore.
The more I think about it, the more I feel...words shouldn't just be spoken and thrown around and forgotten. Don't talk so much... Just don't.
But the more I think about it, the more I don't want to think about it. I've been feeling fatigued for a couple of days straight now. I can't even wake up to the alarm anymore. I don't know why I've been feeling so tired.
It's just, sometimes, I feel this impulse to erase all traces of my existence. No, not literally suicide of course =.= As in, removing this blog, removing everything on the web connected to me.
I'm leaving this blog entry as it is so I can remind myself to finally delete my Friendster. The reason I don't want to start a Facebook is cuz I'd probably eventually delete it anyway.
I should talk less. I haven't been talking much these days. I simply don't feel like it. Today, a friend called me and talked totally random stuff before he came to his main point that I knew he wanted to address, "Stop ignoring my SMS-es!" It's half true when I told him that I forgot about his messages (because 90% of the time I check my HP, I'm playing game). "Yah yah, purposely one right!" Hahaha. Yeah. It was on purpose. Knowing myself, I set myself up to forget it.
But the prime reason? I don't really want to talk about my life. Everything's the same. My job. My hobby. My life. My view points. It's the same. Nothing's changed. Now I don't deny he was showing concern. Much appreciated. I feel bad. But. It's just, I don't have...things to talk about anymore.
The more I think about it, the more I feel...words shouldn't just be spoken and thrown around and forgotten. Don't talk so much... Just don't.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Just Watching
Sometimes, rather than actively participating in life, I feel like I'm just watching life.
People do things, decide things, walk in, walk out, and all I have to say is, "Okay."
It's pretty odd that at the back of my mind, I tell myself I'd sort it out later and make sense of it. But in the end, I never do.
After all, ultimately, nothing ever changes, even if I had my thoughts and opinions about it. I'm not happy, and neither am I sad about it. It's just my feelings that are stuck in a limbo that disturbs me.
Is this normal? I really don't know.
People do things, decide things, walk in, walk out, and all I have to say is, "Okay."
It's pretty odd that at the back of my mind, I tell myself I'd sort it out later and make sense of it. But in the end, I never do.
After all, ultimately, nothing ever changes, even if I had my thoughts and opinions about it. I'm not happy, and neither am I sad about it. It's just my feelings that are stuck in a limbo that disturbs me.
Is this normal? I really don't know.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Follow Up Call from Star****
Cool. This afternoon, I received a call.
Caller: Looking for a Ms Tan or a Ms Lindy?
Me: Wrong number.
I came home, and my mother said someone from Star**** called.
...Masaka.
Then, the phone rang again later at night.
...Hmm ok. I gave my real name, my number, and somehow, the person managed to get my name completely wrong.
Anyway, he said that Internet connection problem was on their side, and everyone in my area more or less kena the same problem and called in to talk about it.
......You know, to ask it 24hrs later is kinda...
...oh well, good effort at least...
Caller: Looking for a Ms Tan or a Ms Lindy?
Me: Wrong number.
I came home, and my mother said someone from Star**** called.
...Masaka.
Then, the phone rang again later at night.
...Hmm ok. I gave my real name, my number, and somehow, the person managed to get my name completely wrong.
Anyway, he said that Internet connection problem was on their side, and everyone in my area more or less kena the same problem and called in to talk about it.
......You know, to ask it 24hrs later is kinda...
...oh well, good effort at least...
Obsolete Thing of the Past
Some weeks ago, I went to Bedok 85 to have dinner. Never mind that I discovered that dipping BBQ chicken wings into their chili sauce makes the chicken taste like chicken rice chicken.
I discovered something even more awesome than that, after dinner.
We went to one of those erhhh utility stores that are clogged with all sorts of inconceivable junk, from Transformers-wannabe-pirated toys to showerheads.
So, being the bored ass I usually am whenever I go shopping with my parents, I looked around for something to play with…
…and I saw…
…the holy…
…mighty…
…cane!!!
Yeah, the cane that eats children’s butts for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!!
I immediately went to grab one to play!
…That’s when I noticed it.
The anomaly.
Me: …Aren’t canes supposed to be straight?
Liz: *hesitant and slow nod* …Yeah… I…remember it to be straight.
Me: …But these are freaking curly fries!!! (not the exact words but…)
ALL the canes were defective!!! I took out one, and it was bending around like…like curly fries??? Then Liz took another one out. HAHAHA 1/4 of the whole thing was already snapped and limping!!! Then I took another one—the handle came out!!!
HAHAHAHAHA
Omg. It was damn stupid. Haven’t hit the kid, the thing die on its own!
I kept laughing and making fun of the damn thing!
Then it occurred to me…the reason behind such phenomenon.
These days, no parents hit their kids anymore. Canes are a thing of the past… Children today don’t even know a cane is a cane even when they see it.
So, conclusion? Mo market for canes means the manufacturer can give out curly fries instead
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAhAHAHAHA
I wonder what the sales volume is like man. HAHAHAHAHA
Oh wow, a spastic scene/memory just came to mind. I totally forgot the words, so I’m just piecing them together by erhhh what I suppose was the content.
Kid: Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, what is a movie ticket?
Dad: You need a movie ticket to watch a movie.
Kid: Daddy, daddy, daddy, what is a movie?
Dad: A movie is a film recorded with a camera and aired in cinemas for people to watch.
Kid: Daddy, daddy, what is a cinema?
Dad: A cinema is where people watch movies in.
Kid: Daddy… *pauses* *silence* *serious, solemn face* Where is the cinema?
Dad: Up yours. You forgot to ask what a film is, what a camera is, and what people look like.
Don’t let movies be a thing of the past. That’s why movies are making billions of money even as we speak.
So translating it to canes…
Kid: Daddy x4, what is being naughty?
Dad: Being naughty is being you, and you’re asking for punishments.
Kid: Daddy x3, what is a punishment?
Dad: Punishment is what we give to naughty kids like you.
Kid: Daddy x2, what do you give as punishment?
Dad: We smack your smarmy little butts with canes.
Kid: Daddy… *pauses* *silence* *serious, solemn face* What is a cane?
Dad: Up yours. Screw the cane. We use corn now.
Don’t let canes be a thing of the past. Parents might resort to using cucumber, corn and corn oil instead.
On a side note…don’t ask me what the hell is with cucumber, corn and coil oil for that matter. It’s not for the weak of hearts, or more importantly, the weak of asses.
Now, why does winword want to correct ‘asses’ as ‘Asses?’
Bah freak, I just gave myself another heart attack by Googling ‘Asses.’ I thought I might find something that goes by the term ‘Asses’, but instead, naughty Wikipedia just slapped two very huge naked buttock pictures on the top right.
IN CONCLUSION
Canes are a thing of the past.
Corn is now the in thing.
…Ooo…literally ‘in’ thing.
I discovered something even more awesome than that, after dinner.
We went to one of those erhhh utility stores that are clogged with all sorts of inconceivable junk, from Transformers-wannabe-pirated toys to showerheads.
So, being the bored ass I usually am whenever I go shopping with my parents, I looked around for something to play with…
…and I saw…
…the holy…
…mighty…
…cane!!!
Yeah, the cane that eats children’s butts for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!!
I immediately went to grab one to play!
…That’s when I noticed it.
The anomaly.
Me: …Aren’t canes supposed to be straight?
Liz: *hesitant and slow nod* …Yeah… I…remember it to be straight.
Me: …But these are freaking curly fries!!! (not the exact words but…)
ALL the canes were defective!!! I took out one, and it was bending around like…like curly fries??? Then Liz took another one out. HAHAHA 1/4 of the whole thing was already snapped and limping!!! Then I took another one—the handle came out!!!
HAHAHAHAHA
Omg. It was damn stupid. Haven’t hit the kid, the thing die on its own!
I kept laughing and making fun of the damn thing!
Then it occurred to me…the reason behind such phenomenon.
These days, no parents hit their kids anymore. Canes are a thing of the past… Children today don’t even know a cane is a cane even when they see it.
So, conclusion? Mo market for canes means the manufacturer can give out curly fries instead
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAhAHAHAHA
I wonder what the sales volume is like man. HAHAHAHAHA
Oh wow, a spastic scene/memory just came to mind. I totally forgot the words, so I’m just piecing them together by erhhh what I suppose was the content.
Kid: Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, what is a movie ticket?
Dad: You need a movie ticket to watch a movie.
Kid: Daddy, daddy, daddy, what is a movie?
Dad: A movie is a film recorded with a camera and aired in cinemas for people to watch.
Kid: Daddy, daddy, what is a cinema?
Dad: A cinema is where people watch movies in.
Kid: Daddy… *pauses* *silence* *serious, solemn face* Where is the cinema?
Dad: Up yours. You forgot to ask what a film is, what a camera is, and what people look like.
Don’t let movies be a thing of the past. That’s why movies are making billions of money even as we speak.
So translating it to canes…
Kid: Daddy x4, what is being naughty?
Dad: Being naughty is being you, and you’re asking for punishments.
Kid: Daddy x3, what is a punishment?
Dad: Punishment is what we give to naughty kids like you.
Kid: Daddy x2, what do you give as punishment?
Dad: We smack your smarmy little butts with canes.
Kid: Daddy… *pauses* *silence* *serious, solemn face* What is a cane?
Dad: Up yours. Screw the cane. We use corn now.
Don’t let canes be a thing of the past. Parents might resort to using cucumber, corn and corn oil instead.
On a side note…don’t ask me what the hell is with cucumber, corn and coil oil for that matter. It’s not for the weak of hearts, or more importantly, the weak of asses.
Now, why does winword want to correct ‘asses’ as ‘Asses?’
Bah freak, I just gave myself another heart attack by Googling ‘Asses.’ I thought I might find something that goes by the term ‘Asses’, but instead, naughty Wikipedia just slapped two very huge naked buttock pictures on the top right.
IN CONCLUSION
Canes are a thing of the past.
Corn is now the in thing.
…Ooo…literally ‘in’ thing.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Starstuck
Bloody Starf***’s Internet is down, and now I’m home alone, with no internet. And the Barbarian is supposed to be flying, autopathing to his destination…and is stranded in mid-air, suspended like an action stuntman.
My Internet connection is down sooo bad, that even my phone, that’s also connected to the modem, cannot be used.
I called Starf*** Customer Care Consultant after I made sure to bypass the router and plug the cable into my PC’s sorry ass.
This is the route that went on.
Press 1 for English.
Press 3 for Broadband Services.
Press 1 for MaxOnline Services.
If it’s about your Internet connection, please plug your bloody cable into your PC’s ass. If your Internet works fine, then it’s your router’s dai ji, bo wa eh dai ji.
Press 3 for Technical Assistance.
Press 0 for Customer Care Consultant Services.
One entire string of senseless BGM later:
Your call is damn fucking important to us, but then, we are fucking busy. Siu dan ze hor.
One entire string of senseless BGM later:
Your call is really damn fucking tmd important to us, but then, we’re still tmd fucking busy. Siu dan ze hor x2.
One entire string of senseless BGM later:
Our call is really, really, really bloody shaggingly important to us, but then, our operators all jia zua and died in an imaginary fire. Please hold on some more.
*beep*
Consultant: Hello this is I didn’t catch your name and the what the hell how can I help you?
Me: Erhh my Internet connection’s down, and I’ve already bypassed the router.
Consultant: What’s your subscriber number?
Me: Uh? What? How do I get that number?
Consultant: I meant the subscriber’s IC number.
Me: Bananainpyjamas.
Consultant: Ok. May I know the subscriber’s name?
Me: Bananainpeels.
Consultant: Ok. Can I have your handphone number?
Me: Bananaisdead.
Consultant: Ok. I will get the Technical Assistant to call you. Thank you, good bye…
Me: Ok.
*hangs up*
Thirty minutes later, I realized I forgot the most critical question.
WHEN?
When are you getting that (wo)man who died in an imaginary fire to call me?
At this juncture, I conclude that the…
…What the fuck. I’m typing this halfway and cursing and cussing when suddenly my Internet just came back. Oh well.
Never mind, I’ll still finish my story.
At the previous juncture, I concluded that
#1) when she said she’d get a Technical Assistant to call me, she really meant to say either “after tonight, when I feel like it, after you’re dead, or after you have no bloody use for the Internet.”
#2) her side, the Internet is also down, so the phone also cannot dial out
#3) the Technical Assistant actually has no idea what’s the problem either
#4) the Technical Assistant died by imaginary fire
#5) she’s secretly fixing the Internet by her own
From the looks of it, that the fact that my Internet returned the moment I was about to finish this blog post (I was really fretting what to do if by the time I finished this and I still couldn’t get my Internet back to post this)…
I conclude that it’s point #4. His/her spirit is now lurking in my currently empty house and staring at me type. S/he used imaginary ghostly powers to restore my Internet back.
OH GODS! NO!!! SEVENTH MONTH IS OVER! IT’S THE MONTH OF THE HAZE NOW! FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE ME!!!
Funny how screwed up Internet connection ended up inspiring a blog entry. This is retarded.
My Internet connection is down sooo bad, that even my phone, that’s also connected to the modem, cannot be used.
I called Starf*** Customer Care Consultant after I made sure to bypass the router and plug the cable into my PC’s sorry ass.
This is the route that went on.
Press 1 for English.
Press 3 for Broadband Services.
Press 1 for MaxOnline Services.
If it’s about your Internet connection, please plug your bloody cable into your PC’s ass. If your Internet works fine, then it’s your router’s dai ji, bo wa eh dai ji.
Press 3 for Technical Assistance.
Press 0 for Customer Care Consultant Services.
One entire string of senseless BGM later:
Your call is damn fucking important to us, but then, we are fucking busy. Siu dan ze hor.
One entire string of senseless BGM later:
Your call is really damn fucking tmd important to us, but then, we’re still tmd fucking busy. Siu dan ze hor x2.
One entire string of senseless BGM later:
Our call is really, really, really bloody shaggingly important to us, but then, our operators all jia zua and died in an imaginary fire. Please hold on some more.
*beep*
Consultant: Hello this is I didn’t catch your name and the what the hell how can I help you?
Me: Erhh my Internet connection’s down, and I’ve already bypassed the router.
Consultant: What’s your subscriber number?
Me: Uh? What? How do I get that number?
Consultant: I meant the subscriber’s IC number.
Me: Bananainpyjamas.
Consultant: Ok. May I know the subscriber’s name?
Me: Bananainpeels.
Consultant: Ok. Can I have your handphone number?
Me: Bananaisdead.
Consultant: Ok. I will get the Technical Assistant to call you. Thank you, good bye…
Me: Ok.
*hangs up*
Thirty minutes later, I realized I forgot the most critical question.
WHEN?
When are you getting that (wo)man who died in an imaginary fire to call me?
At this juncture, I conclude that the…
…What the fuck. I’m typing this halfway and cursing and cussing when suddenly my Internet just came back. Oh well.
Never mind, I’ll still finish my story.
At the previous juncture, I concluded that
#1) when she said she’d get a Technical Assistant to call me, she really meant to say either “after tonight, when I feel like it, after you’re dead, or after you have no bloody use for the Internet.”
#2) her side, the Internet is also down, so the phone also cannot dial out
#3) the Technical Assistant actually has no idea what’s the problem either
#4) the Technical Assistant died by imaginary fire
#5) she’s secretly fixing the Internet by her own
From the looks of it, that the fact that my Internet returned the moment I was about to finish this blog post (I was really fretting what to do if by the time I finished this and I still couldn’t get my Internet back to post this)…
I conclude that it’s point #4. His/her spirit is now lurking in my currently empty house and staring at me type. S/he used imaginary ghostly powers to restore my Internet back.
OH GODS! NO!!! SEVENTH MONTH IS OVER! IT’S THE MONTH OF THE HAZE NOW! FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE ME!!!
Funny how screwed up Internet connection ended up inspiring a blog entry. This is retarded.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
I didn't see this before
BUT WOW!
I totally see why people read my blog in the past!!!
I HAVE to tell you about my amazing encounter at the mama shop last Sunday!
Before that, SLEEP. :D
I totally see why people read my blog in the past!!!
I HAVE to tell you about my amazing encounter at the mama shop last Sunday!
Before that, SLEEP. :D
Friday, October 8, 2010
I get the drift
When I'm feeling so damned emotionally fragile, someone just had to trample on me further.
And when said someone realised she said something wrong, she tried to take it back.
The damage is done. No amount of sweet talking can reverse it.
And as it is, this world is a place only for the fearless who would stand against popular opinion, or for the submissive/conformist who would do anything to win approval.
There's no place for anything in between.
And when said someone realised she said something wrong, she tried to take it back.
The damage is done. No amount of sweet talking can reverse it.
And as it is, this world is a place only for the fearless who would stand against popular opinion, or for the submissive/conformist who would do anything to win approval.
There's no place for anything in between.
Misconceptions
I wrote a very long post at work, and then saved it. I'd wanted to continue it and then post it here, but then...somehow, I just lost all the mood to do it.
I Google stuff, and then end up discovering things I wonder if it was best I never found them.
Now, let me highlight to you what impressions people have of me, based on observations that I've made.
I am someone who uses friends.
I am someone who has no heart.
I am someone whom you cannot approach to reason and talk to.
I am someone who is aggressive and domineering.
I am someone who simply does not understand or care.
I am someone whom unless you have the strongest of heart, is best avoided.
What can I say?
I've said it many times before, more than I would ever love to.
I'll live with the misconceptions. It's a lie to say I am not hurt. In fact, I'm feeling very sad right now, that I don't have much appetite for dinner.
I can't do things alone. But when I do find people to do things with me...I think I end up slowing everyone down.
I'm sorry. Sometimes, I feel I need to be alone so I don't hurt the ones around me.
Maybe I'm just tired, so I'm feeling pessimistic.
Sigh... What can I say. I feel very sad. Period.
I Google stuff, and then end up discovering things I wonder if it was best I never found them.
Now, let me highlight to you what impressions people have of me, based on observations that I've made.
I am someone who uses friends.
I am someone who has no heart.
I am someone whom you cannot approach to reason and talk to.
I am someone who is aggressive and domineering.
I am someone who simply does not understand or care.
I am someone whom unless you have the strongest of heart, is best avoided.
What can I say?
I've said it many times before, more than I would ever love to.
I'll live with the misconceptions. It's a lie to say I am not hurt. In fact, I'm feeling very sad right now, that I don't have much appetite for dinner.
I can't do things alone. But when I do find people to do things with me...I think I end up slowing everyone down.
I'm sorry. Sometimes, I feel I need to be alone so I don't hurt the ones around me.
Maybe I'm just tired, so I'm feeling pessimistic.
Sigh... What can I say. I feel very sad. Period.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Cause and Effect
Can't remember where I read about this thing called 'cause and effect.' It originated from a story, about how the world is mainly ruled by one thing called 'consequence.' Don't know if it was from The Protector or some other book, but anyways...
I think applying the idea of 'cause and effect' is very useful, when you're doing introspection. And allow me to stress the importance of introspection... If only we did it more often, I think half of the unnecessary whining would be gone. Sense of self-entitlement would lower and asses would realize how much they stink.
Very funny how some people don't see action A results in consequence B, and then go on to complain about why they're in consequence B, then complain about other people carrying out action A.
I think applying the idea of 'cause and effect' is very useful, when you're doing introspection. And allow me to stress the importance of introspection... If only we did it more often, I think half of the unnecessary whining would be gone. Sense of self-entitlement would lower and asses would realize how much they stink.
Very funny how some people don't see action A results in consequence B, and then go on to complain about why they're in consequence B, then complain about other people carrying out action A.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
When I can't say it flat out
Konnichi wa.
I keep wanting to express something, but most of the media that I'm exposed to are inappropriate...and then I recalled my blog ♥
But, by now, most of the things I want to express have become just vague feelings.
I'll get to the point though, what's bothering me so much.
How does a person with intense feelings cope with social interaction? I don't have any real reasons to feel what I feel. There's nothing wrong with them either, at least in my perspective. But it's downright hard to talk about it.
It could be my environment. I can't tell anyone how happy I am to see them, or how sad I am to see them leave. It's alienating to me, and probably twice as much to them. It doesn't show on my face either. I can't just turn around to a friend, and suddenly say, "Actually, I really like having you around even though I have nothing to say to you." It sounds downright phony when it's said out instead of kept inside...not to mention it sounds contradicting in nature. And I know how some people would literally run away after hearing such a thing, when it really shouldn't be the case. Sigh.
It's even sadder when you don't even know if you're just being one-sided or the feelings are mutual. I know what I feel, but that's about it. And considering my entire history of patterns of making friends, I'm pretty liable to being one-sided. I put a lot of feelings in a lot of things I do...so ultimately, it's pretty hard to take them back at the end.
Saddest part is, you know you'll eventually have to take them back some day.
You know, in TV dramas, characters would express how they don't want someone to go, to leave, etc etc, you get the picture. In the cheesy scenario, said someone would eventually not go and come back. But y'know, that's that, frames put together and aired to you to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
So, in my understanding of "real life" or "reality", it puts unnecessary stress on other people when you express how you're unwilling to part with them. People liable to acts of martyrdom will stay to continue an unhealthy relationship with you, while people who are afraid of clingy relationships will disappear faster than if you didn't express it first.
Would I cling on to people? Hmmmmm. No, not really. I usually walk out on people before they walk out on me. But I'm no less sad when someone else walks out of my life. Does it show? Guess not.
OH and just in case I sound like that, I'm NOT having a crush or anything. Hahaha.
Edit I was in the mood for an emo story that I promised to write after writing this...but...I...lost it after reading something else. Ohhh noooo.
I keep wanting to express something, but most of the media that I'm exposed to are inappropriate...and then I recalled my blog ♥
But, by now, most of the things I want to express have become just vague feelings.
I'll get to the point though, what's bothering me so much.
How does a person with intense feelings cope with social interaction? I don't have any real reasons to feel what I feel. There's nothing wrong with them either, at least in my perspective. But it's downright hard to talk about it.
It could be my environment. I can't tell anyone how happy I am to see them, or how sad I am to see them leave. It's alienating to me, and probably twice as much to them. It doesn't show on my face either. I can't just turn around to a friend, and suddenly say, "Actually, I really like having you around even though I have nothing to say to you." It sounds downright phony when it's said out instead of kept inside...not to mention it sounds contradicting in nature. And I know how some people would literally run away after hearing such a thing, when it really shouldn't be the case. Sigh.
It's even sadder when you don't even know if you're just being one-sided or the feelings are mutual. I know what I feel, but that's about it. And considering my entire history of patterns of making friends, I'm pretty liable to being one-sided. I put a lot of feelings in a lot of things I do...so ultimately, it's pretty hard to take them back at the end.
Saddest part is, you know you'll eventually have to take them back some day.
You know, in TV dramas, characters would express how they don't want someone to go, to leave, etc etc, you get the picture. In the cheesy scenario, said someone would eventually not go and come back. But y'know, that's that, frames put together and aired to you to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
So, in my understanding of "real life" or "reality", it puts unnecessary stress on other people when you express how you're unwilling to part with them. People liable to acts of martyrdom will stay to continue an unhealthy relationship with you, while people who are afraid of clingy relationships will disappear faster than if you didn't express it first.
Would I cling on to people? Hmmmmm. No, not really. I usually walk out on people before they walk out on me. But I'm no less sad when someone else walks out of my life. Does it show? Guess not.
OH and just in case I sound like that, I'm NOT having a crush or anything. Hahaha.
Edit I was in the mood for an emo story that I promised to write after writing this...but...I...lost it after reading something else. Ohhh noooo.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Why I want to be Single
Sigh. So much for blogging everyday. Now that I'm caught up doing something else, I neglect my blog again.
...
Anyway... Recently, I've had friends who have expressed to me their interest in finding their significant other. It feels weird knowing that it's the age people are finally looking to form families and stuff, but yeah, I can live with that.
No, I'm not worried that I'd be forgotten as soon as they find their special someone. It's to be expected and quite natural.
What I'm more concerned about...
...is everyone else who asks me why I want to stay single forever.
Now...let me clarify this. It has very little to do with my sense of self worth. I would admit that my dating market value is next to 0 and I attract more flies than erh, rice. (I can't find anything that rhymes...)
But that said...
Why do most people question my decision!?!?!?!?
And then they would follow up with the same kind of comments:
"You would lead a happier life."
"You'd have someone to grow old with."
"And when you die, you won't be lonely."
My answers are usually the same:
"I like to be free."
"Being attached is damn troublesome."
"I'd rather spend more time playing game than talking ♥!"
Yeah... You can predict the kind of responses to refute my answers.
Okok. Let's put a full stop to all these arguments now. Never mind how I seriously treasure being unrestrained.
THIS is the biggest reason...
...I refuse to change for anyone else!!!
YES! As you probably know by now, I happen to live a lifestyle that is completely acceptable to a fellow guy--IF I was a guy. Admittedly, some guys can cook. But my best dish is western food where as long as the food has been on the frying pan, it's edible. I do do housework...but for my convenience. And I am hardly presentable. Not much signs of femininity either. I don't want children. I don't want to share expenses with another guy because if we break up, it's going to be hell, and I don't want to raise a giggolo. (By the way, have I mentioned to you how somehow the kind of guys I attract are usually those looking for a mother?) I am rarely hygienic.
DESPITE listing all the horrible habits that I have...I am completely comfortable with the way I am and I just. don't. want. to. change.
Now, maybe a solution would be...find some guy who just LOVES the kind of weirdness I have.
Riighhhttt. Let's be realistic... What kind of guy who is good would be attracted to that. Tell me a guy that doesn't go for looks first. No, I'm not upset that they're very visually charged. In fact, I am also just as superficial...I friggin' go for looks first too.
Thus, let's reach a consensus... "Let nature take its course!"
Yup. So, let's end this once and for all...and stop questioning why I want to be single. I have no desire to produce offspring and I...well, just don't. want. to. change.
Zzz.
...
Anyway... Recently, I've had friends who have expressed to me their interest in finding their significant other. It feels weird knowing that it's the age people are finally looking to form families and stuff, but yeah, I can live with that.
No, I'm not worried that I'd be forgotten as soon as they find their special someone. It's to be expected and quite natural.
What I'm more concerned about...
...is everyone else who asks me why I want to stay single forever.
Now...let me clarify this. It has very little to do with my sense of self worth. I would admit that my dating market value is next to 0 and I attract more flies than erh, rice. (I can't find anything that rhymes...)
But that said...
Why do most people question my decision!?!?!?!?
And then they would follow up with the same kind of comments:
"You would lead a happier life."
"You'd have someone to grow old with."
"And when you die, you won't be lonely."
My answers are usually the same:
"I like to be free."
"Being attached is damn troublesome."
"I'd rather spend more time playing game than talking ♥!"
Yeah... You can predict the kind of responses to refute my answers.
Okok. Let's put a full stop to all these arguments now. Never mind how I seriously treasure being unrestrained.
THIS is the biggest reason...
...I refuse to change for anyone else!!!
YES! As you probably know by now, I happen to live a lifestyle that is completely acceptable to a fellow guy--IF I was a guy. Admittedly, some guys can cook. But my best dish is western food where as long as the food has been on the frying pan, it's edible. I do do housework...but for my convenience. And I am hardly presentable. Not much signs of femininity either. I don't want children. I don't want to share expenses with another guy because if we break up, it's going to be hell, and I don't want to raise a giggolo. (By the way, have I mentioned to you how somehow the kind of guys I attract are usually those looking for a mother?) I am rarely hygienic.
DESPITE listing all the horrible habits that I have...I am completely comfortable with the way I am and I just. don't. want. to. change.
Now, maybe a solution would be...find some guy who just LOVES the kind of weirdness I have.
Riighhhttt. Let's be realistic... What kind of guy who is good would be attracted to that. Tell me a guy that doesn't go for looks first. No, I'm not upset that they're very visually charged. In fact, I am also just as superficial...I friggin' go for looks first too.
Thus, let's reach a consensus... "Let nature take its course!"
Yup. So, let's end this once and for all...and stop questioning why I want to be single. I have no desire to produce offspring and I...well, just don't. want. to. change.
Zzz.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Pondering
I had initially posted an entry about my agnostic viewpoints. But after thinking for a while... I think it's safer not to post it at all.
Thankfully, I'm not living in America.
Thankfully, I'm not living in America.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Some Quizzes
HAHAHA
Okay, I was bored, so I did a supervillain quiz that I did in the distant past. The results are very surprising, and I LIKE it!
Your results:
You are Apocalypse
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...
LOL I used to be The Joker (65%), and second in place was Dark Phoenix (who the toot is that?). I wanted to be some other smart villain, which truth be told, I don't know almost all of them 8D (I don't follow the Marvel series, though I like Spiderman and Batman).
And again, I don't know who the toot Apocalypse is, but it sounds very funny! Hahaha! Got some questions asking if you are healthy and don't know what (something like that), I have definitely been honest... (Okay I don't think they meant that fitness) Wahh this is so new and unpredictable. +1 to this!
And some other quiz that I like to do when I'm bored:
113 words
Position #256 of 140419! I don't know if that number is BS though... I did it in the office, where the keyboard is tough and sturdy--good for this thing! Unfortunately, typing too fast makes the keyboard too loud, and it's too suspicious cuz my data entry is mostly short phrases of number parts D:
But I'm happy... 10 more words than the last time I did! Top 100 position is not too far off!!! (I was in 700+ last time)
Edit I went to find the superhero version of the quiz...
Your results:
You are Superman
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
NOOOOO I AM STILL SUPERMAN!! I'm going to lie my way through to get Batman and Spiderman next time!!!!!! /Edit
Okay, I was bored, so I did a supervillain quiz that I did in the distant past. The results are very surprising, and I LIKE it!
Your results:
You are Apocalypse
| You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest. |
Click here to take the "Which Super Villain am I?" quiz...
LOL I used to be The Joker (65%), and second in place was Dark Phoenix (who the toot is that?). I wanted to be some other smart villain, which truth be told, I don't know almost all of them 8D (I don't follow the Marvel series, though I like Spiderman and Batman).
And again, I don't know who the toot Apocalypse is, but it sounds very funny! Hahaha! Got some questions asking if you are healthy and don't know what (something like that), I have definitely been honest... (Okay I don't think they meant that fitness) Wahh this is so new and unpredictable. +1 to this!
And some other quiz that I like to do when I'm bored:
113 words
Position #256 of 140419! I don't know if that number is BS though... I did it in the office, where the keyboard is tough and sturdy--good for this thing! Unfortunately, typing too fast makes the keyboard too loud, and it's too suspicious cuz my data entry is mostly short phrases of number parts D:
But I'm happy... 10 more words than the last time I did! Top 100 position is not too far off!!! (I was in 700+ last time)
Edit I went to find the superhero version of the quiz...
Your results:
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
NOOOOO I AM STILL SUPERMAN!! I'm going to lie my way through to get Batman and Spiderman next time!!!!!! /Edit
Friday, July 2, 2010
Nice Article
Okay... I came across a nice article:
How to not depend on others to make you happy
It obviously isn't proofread. But it sounds natural on the ear so...oh well, I guess I'm not as picky about language as I thought I was.
That aside, I thought the content was rather meaningful.
It kinda reminds me how in the past I got emotionally tired and I told the person to go make herself happy. Then her response was: "I can't do that at all. How can I do that? Tell me."
Not exactly those words, but something along the line, a blatant statement that pushed all the responsibility to me. Well, sure... I can be the listening ear who's somehow always on call to hear an earful of ramblings. I can be the trash can over MSN who's fed all sorts of bah, negative things. How is it that I've become responsible for someone else's emotional wellbeing? o_O
Meh...and all sorts of emo nonsense. I have now effectively installed an emo radar that sends chills up my ass when I see the act-happy-but-not-happy emo buttbags. Heyyy... There's a difference between people who aren't comfortable sharing emo events but can't hide it and people who are leaking emo scent and hope people pick it up, ask them about it and listen to their barrage of emo stories.
Bah. I think I came out of the mess as the bad guy, who wouldn't account to friends and be responsible for wiping their asses.
...Hmm. Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm still affected? I guess I'm still feeling faintly bitter about it. Yeah... No point denying it. The one thing that's leaving me with a big thumb sore called "regret" is that I never got to brutally bash the other person on the head. Erh, figuratively or verbally, not literally.
Now, why didn't I do it?
Like always, there are two sides to the same nickel, and meh... It's hard to say, but I've had a crap load of faults on my part that I can't even wash myself clean even if I jumped through the what, yellow river?
The one outstanding thing that I have and am still trying super hard to get rid of is not keeping promises. I'm liable to making them and breaking all of them hurhur. ~__~ Left a lot of repercussions. Now trying not to promise anything even at knife point, if I knew I wasn't gonna fulfill it. Annoys myself.
Biggest mistake was not being able to set boundaries. Couldn't tell what was what, who was who... Best death trap for emotional blackmail and lack of respect. Yeah I mean, the moment you get too close, you take your friend for granted and then respect just suddenly disperses on its own.
Hmm yeah, I like things with a bit of distance. It's kinda fun, knowing you can't exactly dig into your friend's everything but still wanting to know what they're like. Makes them look mysterious and interesting to be with. It's something I never knew when I never set boundaries.
Ooo. I feel kinda better now.
How to not depend on others to make you happy
It obviously isn't proofread. But it sounds natural on the ear so...oh well, I guess I'm not as picky about language as I thought I was.
That aside, I thought the content was rather meaningful.
It kinda reminds me how in the past I got emotionally tired and I told the person to go make herself happy. Then her response was: "I can't do that at all. How can I do that? Tell me."
Not exactly those words, but something along the line, a blatant statement that pushed all the responsibility to me. Well, sure... I can be the listening ear who's somehow always on call to hear an earful of ramblings. I can be the trash can over MSN who's fed all sorts of bah, negative things. How is it that I've become responsible for someone else's emotional wellbeing? o_O
Meh...and all sorts of emo nonsense. I have now effectively installed an emo radar that sends chills up my ass when I see the act-happy-but-not-happy emo buttbags. Heyyy... There's a difference between people who aren't comfortable sharing emo events but can't hide it and people who are leaking emo scent and hope people pick it up, ask them about it and listen to their barrage of emo stories.
Bah. I think I came out of the mess as the bad guy, who wouldn't account to friends and be responsible for wiping their asses.
...Hmm. Thinking about it, I wonder if I'm still affected? I guess I'm still feeling faintly bitter about it. Yeah... No point denying it. The one thing that's leaving me with a big thumb sore called "regret" is that I never got to brutally bash the other person on the head. Erh, figuratively or verbally, not literally.
Now, why didn't I do it?
Like always, there are two sides to the same nickel, and meh... It's hard to say, but I've had a crap load of faults on my part that I can't even wash myself clean even if I jumped through the what, yellow river?
The one outstanding thing that I have and am still trying super hard to get rid of is not keeping promises. I'm liable to making them and breaking all of them hurhur. ~__~ Left a lot of repercussions. Now trying not to promise anything even at knife point, if I knew I wasn't gonna fulfill it. Annoys myself.
Biggest mistake was not being able to set boundaries. Couldn't tell what was what, who was who... Best death trap for emotional blackmail and lack of respect. Yeah I mean, the moment you get too close, you take your friend for granted and then respect just suddenly disperses on its own.
Hmm yeah, I like things with a bit of distance. It's kinda fun, knowing you can't exactly dig into your friend's everything but still wanting to know what they're like. Makes them look mysterious and interesting to be with. It's something I never knew when I never set boundaries.
Ooo. I feel kinda better now.
ehow
...I slept at 2am for an extremely lame reason of seeing my pixels in different fashion, and laughing at randoms in a pixel world.
...
Anyway, that aside...some stuff in life got me wondering the widely viewed or discussed opinions and definitions of certain stuff, such as ego and selfishness (which I never got anything beyond the whole debate between selfishness and self-interest).
Then I came upon this site.
The first article I read was rather simple and well written.
But after I started to jump links and surf the site... Mannn. How the hell do they QC their articles??? I'm usually not very picky with language, especially in a conversational setting. I wouldn't jump at or be prejudiced against international gamers who can't grasp the English language very well. But when I read supposedly professional articles...I cannot stand it when language is thrown out of the window completely.
Wtf is with the use of sms language and a string of typos?? 'These peopel are not tat intrsted in ur lif." <-- ...??!!????!?!??!!??? (not exact and just an example, but I found something like that amongst some articles)
I saw an article called, "How to take a bath." I thought it was relevant to dirt bugs like me, since I sometimes stay up too friggin' late that I end up bringing all my dirt bags with me to bed, only to bathe the next morning.
Wow.
It was a full length essay telling you how to take a long bath. It had 10 pointers, almost as long as paragraphs. Let me attempt writing it in my own words...
1. Play handphone music.
2. Pour water, starting from warm temperature.
3. Add bath spices.
4. Take off clothes and lie dead in the bath tub while the water from tap drool all over you. Turn up the temperature and start boiling yourself without actually boiling. Then top up your bath tub.
5. Pamper each body part like separate entities. Coo to them like hoaxing little children. Make each of your body part feel super loved. Remember, this is called pampering, not cleaning for the sake of cleaning.
6. Boil some more.
7. Use body wash and conditioner together. Apparently, it works for leg and armpit hair too, so it will make your weeding activity so much smoother. Then remember to spot check for 'scratchiness'.
8. Do whatever you like; now is free and easy time.
9. Powerfully, now you begin to wash your face and hair after drowning yourself so damn long. Then get out, and pat yourself dry. Spray all sorts of things that make you smell good. (P.S: It's nice to spray behind neck and between your neh neh, a.k.a long kang.) Then put whatever face nurturing thing you need to.
10. Wear your clothes and get on with it.
Tips and warnings:
- Best times are when you are alone or got lover in next room.
- Remember to install SECOM or Cisco Security Systems. Build some ninja traps while you're at it. It will be bad if someone steps in and not only sees you naked, but you naked AND playing with your rubber ducky.
- I dunno what the last tip means, but I interpret it as, if your hands and legs are growing webs like frogs, get the hell out of the bath tub of doom.
They forgot to add point 11: Keep your water to flush the toilet bowl for the next two or three days, depending on how prudent you are.
Hmmm. I must admit...if I never read the original article, I wouldn't know what the hell I was writing either.
I'm not too fond of articles with corny humor. Not too witty. And worse if they sound like your common auntie trying to give out advice. It reminds me of this particular article I read another day, called "How to stop being jealous" or something like that. Wah lao. It sounded like some cult leader giving you scary imageries:
"You see someone better than you. Suddenly, you feel angry. Yes, you feel hatred. You hate how the person is better than you. You feel unfair. But you don't know why. Yes, you are consumed by this hatred, so you start comparing. You compare with someone worse than you. Suddenly, you feel better. You lavish in the joy that someone is worse than you. But it does not last long. What is the point? There is always someone better than you. Then the vicious cycle begins. You become hateful again. And you are swallowed by this misery, jealousy and depression..."
^ I have no idea wtf s/he's talking about. My envy issues have never gotten so cult-like, to be honest. I wonder he didn't add the following:
"Your hatred is so powerful, it's burning! YES!! Your ass is on fire!!! But you can't put it out! It must be the methane that you're releasing! Oh Lord!! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS SO MUCH! This hatred, this jealousy, it's setting my xxxyyyzzz on fire!!! It's burning so bad, I'd develop cancer eating my xxxyyyzzz!!!!! ZZZ OOHH MY MAMA MY ASS IS GONE"
Something to that effect.
And yeah, the writer doesn't have a good grasp of English... Reminds me slightly of Chinese writers learning English or some European country English, not sure which.
Ohhh hey, in case you're wondering if I have something against the writer... The writer's articles are decent though. Just that the content and advice mostly sounded like some Buddha zen thing masked in Western context... Felt very weird. I sometimes (or too many times) feel the need to poke fun at things.
I was about to digress, but I shall end here to keep it relevant to "ehow". It looks like a 'professional' site all right...but that's about it. Hahaha.
...
Anyway, that aside...some stuff in life got me wondering the widely viewed or discussed opinions and definitions of certain stuff, such as ego and selfishness (which I never got anything beyond the whole debate between selfishness and self-interest).
Then I came upon this site.
The first article I read was rather simple and well written.
But after I started to jump links and surf the site... Mannn. How the hell do they QC their articles??? I'm usually not very picky with language, especially in a conversational setting. I wouldn't jump at or be prejudiced against international gamers who can't grasp the English language very well. But when I read supposedly professional articles...I cannot stand it when language is thrown out of the window completely.
Wtf is with the use of sms language and a string of typos?? 'These peopel are not tat intrsted in ur lif." <-- ...??!!????!?!??!!??? (not exact and just an example, but I found something like that amongst some articles)
I saw an article called, "How to take a bath." I thought it was relevant to dirt bugs like me, since I sometimes stay up too friggin' late that I end up bringing all my dirt bags with me to bed, only to bathe the next morning.
Wow.
It was a full length essay telling you how to take a long bath. It had 10 pointers, almost as long as paragraphs. Let me attempt writing it in my own words...
1. Play handphone music.
2. Pour water, starting from warm temperature.
3. Add bath spices.
4. Take off clothes and lie dead in the bath tub while the water from tap drool all over you. Turn up the temperature and start boiling yourself without actually boiling. Then top up your bath tub.
5. Pamper each body part like separate entities. Coo to them like hoaxing little children. Make each of your body part feel super loved. Remember, this is called pampering, not cleaning for the sake of cleaning.
6. Boil some more.
7. Use body wash and conditioner together. Apparently, it works for leg and armpit hair too, so it will make your weeding activity so much smoother. Then remember to spot check for 'scratchiness'.
8. Do whatever you like; now is free and easy time.
9. Powerfully, now you begin to wash your face and hair after drowning yourself so damn long. Then get out, and pat yourself dry. Spray all sorts of things that make you smell good. (P.S: It's nice to spray behind neck and between your neh neh, a.k.a long kang.) Then put whatever face nurturing thing you need to.
10. Wear your clothes and get on with it.
Tips and warnings:
- Best times are when you are alone or got lover in next room.
- Remember to install SECOM or Cisco Security Systems. Build some ninja traps while you're at it. It will be bad if someone steps in and not only sees you naked, but you naked AND playing with your rubber ducky.
- I dunno what the last tip means, but I interpret it as, if your hands and legs are growing webs like frogs, get the hell out of the bath tub of doom.
They forgot to add point 11: Keep your water to flush the toilet bowl for the next two or three days, depending on how prudent you are.
Hmmm. I must admit...if I never read the original article, I wouldn't know what the hell I was writing either.
I'm not too fond of articles with corny humor. Not too witty. And worse if they sound like your common auntie trying to give out advice. It reminds me of this particular article I read another day, called "How to stop being jealous" or something like that. Wah lao. It sounded like some cult leader giving you scary imageries:
"You see someone better than you. Suddenly, you feel angry. Yes, you feel hatred. You hate how the person is better than you. You feel unfair. But you don't know why. Yes, you are consumed by this hatred, so you start comparing. You compare with someone worse than you. Suddenly, you feel better. You lavish in the joy that someone is worse than you. But it does not last long. What is the point? There is always someone better than you. Then the vicious cycle begins. You become hateful again. And you are swallowed by this misery, jealousy and depression..."
^ I have no idea wtf s/he's talking about. My envy issues have never gotten so cult-like, to be honest. I wonder he didn't add the following:
"Your hatred is so powerful, it's burning! YES!! Your ass is on fire!!! But you can't put it out! It must be the methane that you're releasing! Oh Lord!! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS SO MUCH! This hatred, this jealousy, it's setting my xxxyyyzzz on fire!!! It's burning so bad, I'd develop cancer eating my xxxyyyzzz!!!!! ZZZ OOHH MY MAMA MY ASS IS GONE"
Something to that effect.
And yeah, the writer doesn't have a good grasp of English... Reminds me slightly of Chinese writers learning English or some European country English, not sure which.
Ohhh hey, in case you're wondering if I have something against the writer... The writer's articles are decent though. Just that the content and advice mostly sounded like some Buddha zen thing masked in Western context... Felt very weird. I sometimes (or too many times) feel the need to poke fun at things.
I was about to digress, but I shall end here to keep it relevant to "ehow". It looks like a 'professional' site all right...but that's about it. Hahaha.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Oh Noes!?
I...didn't blog on Mon - Wed!??!
...Okay...
So on Sunday night, I went for Wei Jie's bday chalet at DTE. Didn't wish him a Happy Birthday cuz y'know, it's...2 weeks in advance? Kinda weird hahahaa.
Met some people I haven't seen in ages!
Xinhui - New hairdo gives a very new aura...which I can't quite explain what it is 8D
Xueying - Pretty much still the same tai tai. I still remember her for her long legs...hahahahaha (must be cuz of the badminton sesson a long time ago)
Chelsea - To think close to 7 years ago, our interaction style was... Chelsea sees me, freezes, and expects to get smacked while I see it as a cue to smack her. Haahahahhaha. Become pretty le wor! Almost could not recognise her.... Goes to show how freakishly long I haven't seen her...
And although this sounds weird... I finally got to interact with Isabel, whom I still don't know whether to address by ign or real life name? @.@ (bel feels weird, Isabel also feels farnie, and the other name...erh...) We meet online almost everyday and kill mobs and bosses but yeah, never really talked face-to-face.
So!! I'm kinda surprised that she isn't as quiet as I thought her to be! (...In fact, I think she makes noise to no particular audience...)
So... Xueying, Chelsea, Isabel, Liz and I played Monopoly Deal. Actually... I think 5 other people started the game right? Was it XY, Chelsea, some guy whose name I still don't know, Manning and... ... (there's a mysterious missing person in my memory bank...) Midway through, the game switched hands... Hahahaha. Then MN had to leave...and Monopoly Deal belonged to her. !!!
So we went out to find Monopoly Deal and poker cards. When we first went into the chalet, we didn't pay $1. Then when we (Liz and I) came out and tried to go back in, have to pay $1 cuz the guard was there! The most sian thing was...the guard didn't even look and check if we had the chops on us lor. =__= Zzzz.
Not too important. But we found a guy walking into the females toilet, and Chelsea and I blatantly looked like we wanted to laugh...and I burst out laughing. Simi LJ lah.
Anyway yeah... Wah lao. When I played Monopoly Deal, I seriously had beginner's luck man... After that my luck and money kena syphon to dunno which 5th dimension vacuum. Then I must've been such a powerful suay air generator that the two people sitting closest to me (Isabel and Liz) both kena my suay qi... Liz became a barren land of stolen and mortgaged property while Isabel who started out winning was eventually swallowed by my suay qi and also tio stolen and lost property. Hell yeah, this is so satisfyingly entertaining! Hahahaahhahaahhaaha
...The most lasting impression I had of the whole gathering though...
...was Isabel asking Chelsea, "You just ate the whole cheese tart down like that???"
Then Chelsea counter-asked, "Yah lah then? Must smell it first ah??" *sniff sniff* Complete with action and expression...like high on drugs. HAHAHA
Wah. And my biggest >:O!!!!! was... Where's the PS3???
What a belated post. Pfft!
...Okay...
So on Sunday night, I went for Wei Jie's bday chalet at DTE. Didn't wish him a Happy Birthday cuz y'know, it's...2 weeks in advance? Kinda weird hahahaa.
Met some people I haven't seen in ages!
Xinhui - New hairdo gives a very new aura...which I can't quite explain what it is 8D
Xueying - Pretty much still the same tai tai. I still remember her for her long legs...hahahahaha (must be cuz of the badminton sesson a long time ago)
Chelsea - To think close to 7 years ago, our interaction style was... Chelsea sees me, freezes, and expects to get smacked while I see it as a cue to smack her. Haahahahhaha. Become pretty le wor! Almost could not recognise her.... Goes to show how freakishly long I haven't seen her...
And although this sounds weird... I finally got to interact with Isabel, whom I still don't know whether to address by ign or real life name? @.@ (bel feels weird, Isabel also feels farnie, and the other name...erh...) We meet online almost everyday and kill mobs and bosses but yeah, never really talked face-to-face.
So!! I'm kinda surprised that she isn't as quiet as I thought her to be! (...In fact, I think she makes noise to no particular audience...)
So... Xueying, Chelsea, Isabel, Liz and I played Monopoly Deal. Actually... I think 5 other people started the game right? Was it XY, Chelsea, some guy whose name I still don't know, Manning and... ... (there's a mysterious missing person in my memory bank...) Midway through, the game switched hands... Hahahaha. Then MN had to leave...and Monopoly Deal belonged to her. !!!
So we went out to find Monopoly Deal and poker cards. When we first went into the chalet, we didn't pay $1. Then when we (Liz and I) came out and tried to go back in, have to pay $1 cuz the guard was there! The most sian thing was...the guard didn't even look and check if we had the chops on us lor. =__= Zzzz.
Not too important. But we found a guy walking into the females toilet, and Chelsea and I blatantly looked like we wanted to laugh...and I burst out laughing. Simi LJ lah.
Anyway yeah... Wah lao. When I played Monopoly Deal, I seriously had beginner's luck man... After that my luck and money kena syphon to dunno which 5th dimension vacuum. Then I must've been such a powerful suay air generator that the two people sitting closest to me (Isabel and Liz) both kena my suay qi... Liz became a barren land of stolen and mortgaged property while Isabel who started out winning was eventually swallowed by my suay qi and also tio stolen and lost property. Hell yeah, this is so satisfyingly entertaining! Hahahaahhahaahhaaha
...The most lasting impression I had of the whole gathering though...
...was Isabel asking Chelsea, "You just ate the whole cheese tart down like that???"
Then Chelsea counter-asked, "Yah lah then? Must smell it first ah??" *sniff sniff* Complete with action and expression...like high on drugs. HAHAHA
Wah. And my biggest >:O!!!!! was... Where's the PS3???
What a belated post. Pfft!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
5 Day Work Week
Yup. As the title says...my blog is supposed to function on a 5 day work week. So no posts on Saturdays and Sundays!! 8D
(Then what the hell is this post sia)
(Then what the hell is this post sia)
Friday, June 25, 2010
The Mysterious "Because I know you" Stigma
Now, before I begin my post, I must first check up the dictionary what "stigma" means. note: this is what spawned the left/right brain meme /note
Hahahaha. Yeah. To this date, "stigma" remains a huge word to me and I always assumed that I knew what it meant... But ever since a big episode with a person in the past due to the misuse of the word 'patronize'...I stopped assuming I knew what a word meant.
Oh my papa, I just realised I didn't know what stigma meant after all!!!
stig·ma
/ˈstɪgmə/ Show Spelled[stig-muh] Show IPA
–noun, plural stig·ma·ta /ˈstɪgmətə, stɪgˈmɑtə, -ˈmætə/ Show Spelled[stig-muh-tuh, stig-mah-tuh, -mat-uh] Show IPA, stig·mas.
1. mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.
2. Medicine/Medical .
a. a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease: the stigmata of leprosy.
b. a place or point on the skin that bleeds during certain mental states, as in hysteria.
3.Zoology .
a. a small mark, spot, or pore on an animal or organ.
b. the eyespot of a protozoan.
c. an entrance into the respiratory system of insects.
4. Botany . the part of a pistil that receives the pollen.
5. stigmata, marks resembling the wounds of the crucified body of Christ, said to be supernaturally impressed on the bodies of certain persons, esp. nuns, tertiaries, and monastics.
6. Archaic . a mark made by a branding iron on the skin of a criminal or slave.
Okkkkaaayyyy. So what did I mean to say...
...I'm not changing my title though! Cuz it sounds nice!
Okay, since I can't find the word, I shall just describe what sparked this thought.
As you may or may not know, Liz recently completed her girls hip hop dancing class. I think some of you saw me demonstrating her octopus upper torso rotation routine, but no matter.
She was due to have an assessment some Sundays ago, but because she had stage fright, she decided to delay her demise by a week so none of her classmates can witness her powerful ceiling fan prowess at work.
So, she tried to do some last minute practice at home, in the room. Yeah, as you can imagine, I was in the room too. SO! She played the Britney Spears "Circus" song, and started to wobble. I could see that from the reflection on my monitor, so I spun my head around. If my eyes had powers, they stun and tickle.
"EH! DON'T LOOK!" she scolded while holding her stomach and trying not to laugh. By the way, why do some people hold their stomach when they're laughing? Is that a practice of their oh shiet I forgot the English name for it, dan1 tian2? Was it called diaphragm?
And by the way (x2), have you EVER noticed that the clothes shop at Tampines Mall facing the short traffic light, and beside the Levi's shop, have very strange mannequins? (I forgot what that shop is called) ALL the mannequins put a hand over their stomachs, like one whole row of diarrhoea victims.
HAH! I bet I lost you in your my previous paragraph.
So back to my main story.
I turned back to look at my monitor, and having realised that I obtained a new power for my eyes, I spun around and looked at her again, getting another "HEY/OI" and a paused performance.
So, pretending to be cooperative, I stopped looking...and started watching via the reflection on the monitor. Hahaha you looked like an Ancient Boa jumping around, Liz...
Then she went for assessment and had an anti-climax ending to her 10 week long with many lost classes dancing class.
Now, I didn't pay this thought much attention until one day when I was in my office toilet. (Why there, I don't know.)
Before Liz signed up, she asked if I want to join. But I didn't want to burn my Sunday afternoons for some wriggly jumping, so I declined.
...But what if I signed up?
I think we'd spend 10 weeks looking at each other via the mirror and holding our stomachs and laughing and rolling over as a new form of dancing?
I mean, if she cannot even let me watch her dance, then how the toot are we going to go through 10 classes unscathed???
...Thank god I didn't go. Uber waste of money man... Hahahahahahahahaha.
And this happens only because we know each other. :O We probably could care less if we didn't know this person. I can bet 100% I'd laugh if Li Hong started doing girls hip hop (albeit for a completely different reason). Okay, I wouldn't laugh watching Hui Qin dance, but I think she'd fall over and die from embarrassment first, and that's when I laugh. :D
So yeah. Why?? Why do people laugh when someone they know starts doing something as normal as dancing???
...Wow. I just recalled something absolutely retarded. At 4am in the morning, Huizhen and I loaded a youtube mtv of Nobody/Gee. I was concentrating as much as my 4am brain could manage to do what the jiggly girls were doing on screen while Huizhen was busy laughing her bums off at me. Wow how did I not break down at the sight of her laughing. How odd.
Okay. Maybe it's the people involved, not so much cuz you know me I know you we know everybody.
Hahaha. How interesting. Lalala (I don't know how to end the post so I shall spam nonsense)
Hahahaha. Yeah. To this date, "stigma" remains a huge word to me and I always assumed that I knew what it meant... But ever since a big episode with a person in the past due to the misuse of the word 'patronize'...I stopped assuming I knew what a word meant.
Oh my papa, I just realised I didn't know what stigma meant after all!!!
stig·ma
/ˈstɪgmə/ Show Spelled[stig-muh] Show IPA
–noun, plural stig·ma·ta /ˈstɪgmətə, stɪgˈmɑtə, -ˈmætə/ Show Spelled[stig-muh-tuh, stig-mah-tuh, -mat-uh] Show IPA, stig·mas.
1. mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation.
2. Medicine/Medical .
a. a mental or physical mark that is characteristic of a defect or disease: the stigmata of leprosy.
b. a place or point on the skin that bleeds during certain mental states, as in hysteria.
3.Zoology .
a. a small mark, spot, or pore on an animal or organ.
b. the eyespot of a protozoan.
c. an entrance into the respiratory system of insects.
4. Botany . the part of a pistil that receives the pollen.
5. stigmata, marks resembling the wounds of the crucified body of Christ, said to be supernaturally impressed on the bodies of certain persons, esp. nuns, tertiaries, and monastics.
6. Archaic . a mark made by a branding iron on the skin of a criminal or slave.
Okkkkaaayyyy. So what did I mean to say...
...I'm not changing my title though! Cuz it sounds nice!
Okay, since I can't find the word, I shall just describe what sparked this thought.
As you may or may not know, Liz recently completed her girls hip hop dancing class. I think some of you saw me demonstrating her octopus upper torso rotation routine, but no matter.
She was due to have an assessment some Sundays ago, but because she had stage fright, she decided to delay her demise by a week so none of her classmates can witness her powerful ceiling fan prowess at work.
So, she tried to do some last minute practice at home, in the room. Yeah, as you can imagine, I was in the room too. SO! She played the Britney Spears "Circus" song, and started to wobble. I could see that from the reflection on my monitor, so I spun my head around. If my eyes had powers, they stun and tickle.
"EH! DON'T LOOK!" she scolded while holding her stomach and trying not to laugh. By the way, why do some people hold their stomach when they're laughing? Is that a practice of their oh shiet I forgot the English name for it, dan1 tian2? Was it called diaphragm?
And by the way (x2), have you EVER noticed that the clothes shop at Tampines Mall facing the short traffic light, and beside the Levi's shop, have very strange mannequins? (I forgot what that shop is called) ALL the mannequins put a hand over their stomachs, like one whole row of diarrhoea victims.
HAH! I bet I lost you in your my previous paragraph.
So back to my main story.
I turned back to look at my monitor, and having realised that I obtained a new power for my eyes, I spun around and looked at her again, getting another "HEY/OI" and a paused performance.
So, pretending to be cooperative, I stopped looking...and started watching via the reflection on the monitor. Hahaha you looked like an Ancient Boa jumping around, Liz...
Then she went for assessment and had an anti-climax ending to her 10 week long with many lost classes dancing class.
Now, I didn't pay this thought much attention until one day when I was in my office toilet. (Why there, I don't know.)
Before Liz signed up, she asked if I want to join. But I didn't want to burn my Sunday afternoons for some wriggly jumping, so I declined.
...But what if I signed up?
I think we'd spend 10 weeks looking at each other via the mirror and holding our stomachs and laughing and rolling over as a new form of dancing?
I mean, if she cannot even let me watch her dance, then how the toot are we going to go through 10 classes unscathed???
...Thank god I didn't go. Uber waste of money man... Hahahahahahahahaha.
And this happens only because we know each other. :O We probably could care less if we didn't know this person. I can bet 100% I'd laugh if Li Hong started doing girls hip hop (albeit for a completely different reason). Okay, I wouldn't laugh watching Hui Qin dance, but I think she'd fall over and die from embarrassment first, and that's when I laugh. :D
So yeah. Why?? Why do people laugh when someone they know starts doing something as normal as dancing???
...Wow. I just recalled something absolutely retarded. At 4am in the morning, Huizhen and I loaded a youtube mtv of Nobody/Gee. I was concentrating as much as my 4am brain could manage to do what the jiggly girls were doing on screen while Huizhen was busy laughing her bums off at me. Wow how did I not break down at the sight of her laughing. How odd.
Okay. Maybe it's the people involved, not so much cuz you know me I know you we know everybody.
Hahaha. How interesting. Lalala (I don't know how to end the post so I shall spam nonsense)
Meme: Left or Right Brain?
Wot? Are you telling me that even after having blogged for so long, I still don't have a single tag called "meme"?
I was in the middle of searching up a word on dictionary.com when this left right brain thing appeared (the dancing ballerina), so I went to Google for it, only to end side track and end up at another test:
(Bolding points that make sense to me)
And here's another visual test you probably have seen via forwarded emails.
Wah lao. I managed to view it to turn around both ways. But after retrying... It's permanently going clockwise. And that's supposed to mean I'm right brained.
But I did another test...
Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com
Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.
Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.
Overall you appear to be Left Brain Dominant.
Okay... I just confused myself what brain I am...... . . .
I just recalled what Liz told me once when I was talking about a behaviour I couldn't understand at all, until she finally said, "Wah lao... Even feelings must make sense to you then you can understand one meh???" Actually, yeah. There are some feelings that I simply cannot understand why they'd exist due to a specific circumstance. I forgot what the examples were though.
But my teacher wrote in my report book in primary school that I need to stop daydreaming. =__=
I guess this is why it's a 50/50 result...?
...At the end of the day, it was a pointless meme. HAHAAA I MADE YOU WASTE YOUR TIMEEEE :DDDDDDD
I was in the middle of searching up a word on dictionary.com when this left right brain thing appeared (the dancing ballerina), so I went to Google for it, only to end side track and end up at another test:
(Bolding points that make sense to me)
You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained |
 The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |
And here's another visual test you probably have seen via forwarded emails.
Wah lao. I managed to view it to turn around both ways. But after retrying... It's permanently going clockwise. And that's supposed to mean I'm right brained.
But I did another test...
Brain Lateralization Test Results |
| Right Brain (40%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (52%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain |
personality tests by similarminds.com
Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.
Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.
Overall you appear to be Left Brain Dominant.
Okay... I just confused myself what brain I am...... . . .
I just recalled what Liz told me once when I was talking about a behaviour I couldn't understand at all, until she finally said, "Wah lao... Even feelings must make sense to you then you can understand one meh???" Actually, yeah. There are some feelings that I simply cannot understand why they'd exist due to a specific circumstance. I forgot what the examples were though.
But my teacher wrote in my report book in primary school that I need to stop daydreaming. =__=
I guess this is why it's a 50/50 result...?
...At the end of the day, it was a pointless meme. HAHAAA I MADE YOU WASTE YOUR TIMEEEE :DDDDDDD
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Men and Women
Yet again, I run out of topics faster than I can generate them.
Hmmm. I had an interesting topic in mind just minutes before...but me being me, lost it in a yawn. Wowww.
Oh well. I'll just be cheap and talk about a book I was reading some days ago.
It's called "Why men are clueless and women always need more shoes" or something like that. I caught sight of a book, called "Why men want sex and women need love," but that was in Japan and Liz was telling me it's cheaper to buy in SG. Sadly, I don't remember the price in Japan anymore, so I can't tell if it made any difference where I bought it. Then I found it again in Bugis Kinokuniya, this time with other title.
To sum everything they said up...
- Women and men have biologically different brains
- Men are the typical images of thinking problem solvers
- Women are the typical images of the feeling nurturer
That's in a summary.
...Well they did emphasize a couple of times that what they write is a very general picture that applies to dunno how many % of the population (majority). And that's somewhat interesting to know cuz...
...the world as I know it is pretty weird now!?
It's not too reassuring when Andy told me that the guys in army are actually interested in...what, the GSS, fashion and shopping??? What would they screaming on a battlefield?? "OMG My LV helmet!!! Ahhh!!! My Gucci boots!!! SHIEEET My Prada bullet vest!!!"
Hmmmmm food for thought. Then again, they might end up bragging on a battlefield... "HAH! Luckily my bullet vest is Prada. If it's Bata, my body already got lucky 13 holes in me! WOOH! Gucci boots makes me run faster than bullets can catch me! I feel so matrix! My LV helmet has spider sense, I can sense danger 1km around me!"
Wow.
Anyway, this is how the book paints the roles and typical traits of men and women:
Hmmm. I had an interesting topic in mind just minutes before...but me being me, lost it in a yawn. Wowww.
Oh well. I'll just be cheap and talk about a book I was reading some days ago.
It's called "Why men are clueless and women always need more shoes" or something like that. I caught sight of a book, called "Why men want sex and women need love," but that was in Japan and Liz was telling me it's cheaper to buy in SG. Sadly, I don't remember the price in Japan anymore, so I can't tell if it made any difference where I bought it. Then I found it again in Bugis Kinokuniya, this time with other title.
To sum everything they said up...
- Women and men have biologically different brains
- Men are the typical images of thinking problem solvers
- Women are the typical images of the feeling nurturer
That's in a summary.
...Well they did emphasize a couple of times that what they write is a very general picture that applies to dunno how many % of the population (majority). And that's somewhat interesting to know cuz...
...the world as I know it is pretty weird now!?
It's not too reassuring when Andy told me that the guys in army are actually interested in...what, the GSS, fashion and shopping??? What would they screaming on a battlefield?? "OMG My LV helmet!!! Ahhh!!! My Gucci boots!!! SHIEEET My Prada bullet vest!!!"
Hmmmmm food for thought. Then again, they might end up bragging on a battlefield... "HAH! Luckily my bullet vest is Prada. If it's Bata, my body already got lucky 13 holes in me! WOOH! Gucci boots makes me run faster than bullets can catch me! I feel so matrix! My LV helmet has spider sense, I can sense danger 1km around me!"
Wow.
Anyway, this is how the book paints the roles and typical traits of men and women:
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A Deeper Look Into That Bear
I changed my Google search today, to "I like Winnie the Pooh" in order to get more personal entries. I didn't get much of it. But I found a few interesting things that fill up the other hemisphere of the Winnie the Pooh spectrum.
Apparently, Winnie the Pooh suffers from ADHD. I don't know why, but it puts him in a much better light.
And finally, something else I'm reading at the moment...
...I don't agree with everything said inside. It's...It's too positive and bright it's almost incomprehensible. The light! It's stinging my eyes!!!
Okay... So I get the idea that people like Winnie the Pooh because it's positive, positive, and just plain positive. Full of happiness, joy, friendship, loyalty...all the dream like stuff. Especially the quotes.
I've read some of the quotes...
...It's so bloody sweet and care-bearish. I'm not gothic, not emo, not that jaded and not cynical. It's just, some things are so impossibly sweet and bright, they simply sting me the way sometimes eating sweets hurts my teeth.
And most of all, I cannot understand turning a blind eye to the negative things in life. I still believe that a person is not whole until they also understand suffering and pain.
Ahhh. I finally found the word that more accurately describes why I'm repelled by the things I read. It's naviete. It's not even innocence, which I like very much. While an innocent person can face negative things and still come out innocent, a naive person simply denies negative things... And denial often backfires.
Most of the friendship quotes disturb me. About how "I'll always be with you" (like a ghost watching from your room ceiling?), "I'm always in your heart and in your mind" (like the Phantom of the Opera) etc etc etc. Come on, who the hell can live if a person is always sticking by your side like a siamese twin? Ask such twins if they live an easy life...they don't.
Just a related off topic, but I saw a quote that went something like, if both live a hundred days, I want to live a day lesser so I never have to spend a day without you. Wow. That sounds sweet on the surface, but it's kinda selfish or weak down under. If you guys were that close, I'm sure your friend wouldn't want to live a day without you either. Why not die together instead of causing pain to your friend?!
Brings to mind that ah gong song to the ah ma about who gonna die first. "If you get there before I do, don't give up on me... I'll meet you when my chores are through. I don't know how long I'll be." <-- br="" i="" is="" more...sincere="" much="" so="" think.="" this="">
Hahahaha I don't know why I'm even droning about these?!
I'm not changing what I said earlier about Pooh though...the descriptions amuse myself. Hehehehehe.
My conclusion... Well, some of the quotes that Winnie the Pooh have are nice. I don't agree with all of them cuz they're just plain naive, but now instead of deserving to be burnt by the Sun, Pooh deserves a place on the plate on the dinner table more. At least he's now edible.
Apparently, Winnie the Pooh suffers from ADHD. I don't know why, but it puts him in a much better light.
And finally, something else I'm reading at the moment...
...I don't agree with everything said inside. It's...It's too positive and bright it's almost incomprehensible. The light! It's stinging my eyes!!!
Okay... So I get the idea that people like Winnie the Pooh because it's positive, positive, and just plain positive. Full of happiness, joy, friendship, loyalty...all the dream like stuff. Especially the quotes.
I've read some of the quotes...
...It's so bloody sweet and care-bearish. I'm not gothic, not emo, not that jaded and not cynical. It's just, some things are so impossibly sweet and bright, they simply sting me the way sometimes eating sweets hurts my teeth.
And most of all, I cannot understand turning a blind eye to the negative things in life. I still believe that a person is not whole until they also understand suffering and pain.
Ahhh. I finally found the word that more accurately describes why I'm repelled by the things I read. It's naviete. It's not even innocence, which I like very much. While an innocent person can face negative things and still come out innocent, a naive person simply denies negative things... And denial often backfires.
Most of the friendship quotes disturb me. About how "I'll always be with you" (like a ghost watching from your room ceiling?), "I'm always in your heart and in your mind" (like the Phantom of the Opera) etc etc etc. Come on, who the hell can live if a person is always sticking by your side like a siamese twin? Ask such twins if they live an easy life...they don't.
Just a related off topic, but I saw a quote that went something like, if both live a hundred days, I want to live a day lesser so I never have to spend a day without you. Wow. That sounds sweet on the surface, but it's kinda selfish or weak down under. If you guys were that close, I'm sure your friend wouldn't want to live a day without you either. Why not die together instead of causing pain to your friend?!
Brings to mind that ah gong song to the ah ma about who gonna die first. "If you get there before I do, don't give up on me... I'll meet you when my chores are through. I don't know how long I'll be." <-- br="" i="" is="" more...sincere="" much="" so="" think.="" this="">
Hahahaha I don't know why I'm even droning about these?!
I'm not changing what I said earlier about Pooh though...the descriptions amuse myself. Hehehehehe.
My conclusion... Well, some of the quotes that Winnie the Pooh have are nice. I don't agree with all of them cuz they're just plain naive, but now instead of deserving to be burnt by the Sun, Pooh deserves a place on the plate on the dinner table more. At least he's now edible.
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