Messy mood

Yeah... I know someone talked to me about this before, how I should start connecting with myself, be honest with what I feel and recondition myself to think and feel otherwise.

But the more I think about it, the more I don't want to think about it. I've been feeling fatigued for a couple of days straight now. I can't even wake up to the alarm anymore. I don't know why I've been feeling so tired.

It's just, sometimes, I feel this impulse to erase all traces of my existence. No, not literally suicide of course =.= As in, removing this blog, removing everything on the web connected to me.

I'm leaving this blog entry as it is so I can remind myself to finally delete my Friendster. The reason I don't want to start a Facebook is cuz I'd probably eventually delete it anyway.

I should talk less. I haven't been talking much these days. I simply don't feel like it. Today, a friend called me and talked totally random stuff before he came to his main point that I knew he wanted to address, "Stop ignoring my SMS-es!" It's half true when I told him that I forgot about his messages (because 90% of the time I check my HP, I'm playing game). "Yah yah, purposely one right!" Hahaha. Yeah. It was on purpose. Knowing myself, I set myself up to forget it.

But the prime reason? I don't really want to talk about my life. Everything's the same. My job. My hobby. My life. My view points. It's the same. Nothing's changed. Now I don't deny he was showing concern. Much appreciated. I feel bad. But. It's just, I don't have...things to talk about anymore.

The more I think about it, the more I feel...words shouldn't just be spoken and thrown around and forgotten. Don't talk so much... Just don't.