My Christmas Eve

I'm such a suck ass blogger. I've not blogged for so damn long!!!

Somehow, today, I have found something that motivated me to blog.

My sis (now known as Ring instead of liz), her friend and I went to watch Sherlock Holmes. is that how you spell it? anyway, in summary:

1. I don't know what the hell Holmes is talking about most of the time but I think he's damn smart! (That or I'm damn stupid - .-)
2. I feel that the ending is one of the more original ones...maybe I just haven't seen a lot of movies lately. Most endings lead up in a weird and predictable way...the way this one ended felt somewhat scary but satisfying though.
3. I am so digging the friendship between Holmes and erh...is Watson how you spell it? anyway, wow. Ring's friend thinks Holmes is gay, but I think it's perfectly normal and in fact, quite nice to have friendships like that... aghhh so digging it. It's a show more than tell kind of thing. This thought crossed my mind, "wow. I'd be so happy to be Watson if I had a friend like Holmes!" then i realise that the relationship at home is such that I am more like holmes (troublemaker) and ring is watson (trouble cleaner). end of story
4. nice credits! arty farty.

i will go get the DVD when it's out! and i said the same thing for dark knight but i never bought it (difference is, i never watched dark knight). gah parts of sherlock holmes felt somewhat scarily violent though (i have no jingle bells when it comes to violent scenes sometimes). im not too sure if this is correct but it seems they're trying to show that one of the reasons holmes is so damn smart is cuz he knows the visualisation technique? y'know, about visualising and rehearsing your next move in your mind so it executes the same way...

anyway, that aside, ring's friend (whom i shall dub Weirdo) was talking about the shame of the century. he said he went to a clinic (raffles medical if i'm correct) to do his pre employment health tests, of which one included the HIV test. when the receptionist saw it, she said damn loudly, "We don't do HIV tests at the moment!" and the rest of the patients gave him the death glare. HAHAHAHHA omg. he felt like dying. and then he started to tell us what kind of things he'd have said if not for the shock and shame he felt hahahaaaa. to be honest though, it's kinda...hard to associate him with HIV for some reasons i can't explain. ah well.

and one more joy/terror for the record. my uncles went on a holiday to thailand, and my third uncle left his dog's...son at my house. yeah. so now the 3 month old terrorist is with us. delightfully he's cute, 3 mths old and looks a lot like a..polar bear. but there are just two things that make me want to bathe his ass in a tub of water.

1. He has a terrible fear of heights. when i place him on a chair he whimpers. and like your majesty her highness (aka his mom), he summons you via barking. he's really quiet. but the only time he makes noise is he comes up to the living room from the kitchen, and has problems going back to the kitchen cuz the kitchen is like what, 4cm lower than the living room?????? sigh. imagine...i'm doing my daily hunting of bosses when i suddenly hear a dog summoning me. wtfff. sigh i spent 15mins trying to force teach him to walk down the unstable slipper slope i made there and he was giving me the tantrums. he made it down anyway. and sulked in front of the toilet after that. zzz loser.
2. he thinks my room is the only toilet in the whole house. ZZ. he peed in the living room, my uncle's room, my mom's room and finally ours. and it seems that it is officially his toilet. today alone, he came in twice, both at night. GAH. i'd love it very much...if he'd at least be a little like his mom. surprisingly, despite being a princess, his mom actually requests the door be open so she can use the newspaper in the living room as her peeing platform. duddeeee.

well, the last point isnt very important, and im not too sure what he thinks about me. oh btw, this dog is called Yaya. my mom confused it with yao yao. and i confused him with a girl. anyway, he's curbed his habit of chewing on my toes, and that's good. but now, at 2am while i'm blogging, i hesitate going to the toilet cuz he sleeps in the kitchen. last night i went to the toilet and he woke up. i wanted to go back to sleep but he smacked straight down on my foot and wanted me to play with it, so i kinda started tickling it (he seems to like it...that or he's masochistic? or bian tai? sigh. dogs and their quirks). then i had to get up... 1.30am in the morning and i have work in the morning. zzz. so i dumped him at the kitchen and hoped he didn't follow.. he didn't, but he gave me this look that seemed so puzzled... GAHHH. zz.

i do notice that he follows my mom first, followed by me, and finally ring (priority in this order). not too sure. but im stating this again. im never going to breed a dog. first, if it dies i'd be so sad. second, i cant play my online game in peace. third, i'd die catching dog fleas. zz.

i had more to talk about, but im tired and i can't remember.

so here you go!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :DDDD

blog deleted?

today i clicked on link VROOM~!

it doesnt exist.

i know i'm quite a plastic person when it comes to expression. most people dont even know if im sincere. because my face and my expression is just plain plastic. enough said. and i well know i've blurted so many wrong things in your presence even though i don't even mean what i say. i feel it, you know.

still.

wherever you are, whatever you are doing, i hope you're doing fine.

oops

i forgot what it is i wanted to blog about. i just remembered.

i'm literally older now, but i don't feel that anything has changed. i'm still pretty much the same, with the same old fears. yes, bugs, begone from the page of history if you will.

it's just, one day, i realise, i care about the same few people even though i don't want to talk to them. does that make any sense? i don't hate them, don't dislike them, do feel somewhat positive, but don't want to talk to them. there's some strange fear that's stuck in between.

and then there's that strange constipated feeling that stops me from deciding whether to be myself or be someone else. sometimes i act my way into feeling. most of the time i feel my way into acting. but because of the former, i start wondering, am i really whom i thought i knew? the people i didn't care and acted like i care, i started to really care. and that's something i fear. is it fake or is it real. i can't tell.

it's just, today, while texting a friend, i suddenly felt that same feeling some many years ago, the same feeling that i'm prepared to deal with it, should any friend come tell me, "get the fck out of my life." it had completely nothing to do with what i was texting. i feel like i'm always waiting for that moment, so everyday i prepare myself for it. why do i do that? i don't really know.

i can't stop bugging people, y'know, and that disturbs myself the most. i don't have anything to say but i just disturb. thank God that i have a sis for me to bug? :D||| i don't know why. i just feel happy doing that. but sometimes, right after, i feel sad. i don't know if i've been a nuisance.

i think i'm just tired. and my job situation is finally giving me a headache. my job is almost done. i can leave my job and handover pretty smoothly. and i know i made it happen; i know where my credit is due. despite that...i don't know where i'm going. and i think it's cuz of this comfort zone. mom wants me to convert to permanent. my colleagues think it makes things easier. but i know im going to just spend days there multitasking, doing the same thing everyday while taking the extra time off writing stories. which is no good. so another handful of people are asking me, why havent i left my job? i wish i knew.

i guess maybe, at the moment, i dont have the energy to make decisions.

...i'll decide once i really finish and clean up everything at my job. still some eyesore left behind. i'm seeing the finishing line. maybe i'll take a break, for a month or two. then i'll move on. i hope i get another weird job next year.

the girl with the dying messages

when i read that piece of news on newpaper (that my sis somehow decided to buy) i almost cried man. the photo of her pleasant face makes me wanna cry even more ): i mean, knowing you're gonna die you decide to leave something happy for the ones left behind. sigh i feel sad just talking about it.

it does inspire me to do similar things, but cuz i'm superstitious, i fear if i left my dying messages i'd really die soon D:

off to genting during 18-21 nov!

i am sick?

i never entertained the possibility that i might fall sick despite being the most prone to sickness within my vicinity. but i guess i still do. and now i'm online only cuz my dad wants to print email. -.-

so as it turns out, i couldn't get off the freaking floor due to giddiness. in the end my colleague sent me home via his car. sigh. sometimes i think my illness management is pretty screwed. lol 8D when things like this happened in sec school (quite frequently), i tended not to care how i appeared.. i just lay on the floor. wow. talk about pixelated vision. colour was pretty screwy like a 20yr old tv and i didn't quite comprehend what was going on in front of me. man. if i wanted to faint, could i at least completely faint so that people around me have no choice but to carry me or bring me or on a stretcher?? and not half ass faint like a half spoilt tv???

so yeah, because of this strange crap today, i got the chance to go to the bank before it closes. yessss. i got my GO! card. apparently it's a free debit card from posb that you can get as long as you exchange your current nets card for it. and it's under mastercard so you supposedly can do online purchases. once i get my iBanking up, i'm off to settling paypal... and buying Gold for *censored*!! 8DDD man. i was so technologically retarded such that even the most unlikely people had set up such complicated transaction processes and i'm still digging around "how you set up link between bank and paypal?" yah. so i guess necessities (..erh, whatever) force you to change and learn if you have to eh?

and if you ask me, "you're paying to play?" ah yes, i am. ♥ holy crap i found out the keys for hearts! ♥ i used to pay to play RO. i wonder what happened to my thief Yugo. i remember i had another thief or merchant or what but i forgot their names. i never reached assassin... grinding became too painful for me and i was too lazy to get someone to make my Yugo bot. D8 but by the time i was playing Yugo thief, i was already on some RO that was free...? i think? ahh whatever.

i don't know what RO is like now, but paying to play *censored* makes far more sense than that RO i played years ago. no real quests--pure grinding. the only attraction was the idea of reincarnating and resetting your character, only with highly increased basic stats that makes your character godly during re-levelling. but to grind to that stage? spare me man, i could use the time to write a complete Phoenix Wright fanfiction, of which i am currently working on 8D

now what should i do with the rest of my life? oh well. i'm gonna resign pretty soon, although i know very well there is a high chance of switching to perm. well, i kinda don't want to stick around a workplace feeling like a routine robot just to OT and get some 2k+ pay which makes completely no sense. it's like getting paid to become stupid, y'know? at the same time, the chances of getting a job that allows you to learn on your own pace and doesn't disturb you too much isn't readily available i suppose. ahhh. whatever. when it comes, it comes.

shall dig around soon. i hope 2010 is a decidedly different year. i hope i can humble myself further. a part of me still holds certain opinions strongly and it's not going to help me in the long run, especially when i run over others with these opinions of mine. subjects about life is seldom something you can contain your 'passion' about. it could get so intense you'd wanna chup other people's lives--but why bother if you can't manage your own? as they say, there isn't a bigger enemy than yourself.

so whoever they are, i should get off the com soon. once liz is back, i shall get her to do *censored* for me! 8D

it's impossible to clean my email

my yahoo mail is practically flooded with junk. i like to send myself email attachments but i never download or look or name my files properly. sai lahhh. how?? but i dun wanna delete!!! i think i will take an entire free month just to finish sorting. good gawd.

on a side note, after reading a few msn conversations that i saved, i finally realise...

1. i did get angry very easily OoO
2. i sounded like i was on a constant bushuang mood (joking or not i sounded like that)
3. i didn't sound half assed much like a female

wow. i feel very uncomfortable with the knowledge that i was such an easily agitated being. wowww i'm so glad i cut away at least 80% of the things that agitate me easily. it has reduced so significantly! i feel like a new leaf!

that aside, i don't know why i was so easily angry sia. so weird. it almost seemed like my personality was different! hmm. i was very inflexible and i tended to focus on only one direction. in fact i came to a very quick decision of what i didn't want. and i seldom entertained possibilities OoO

omg looking back it must have been a real pain in the ass to talk to me!

on the other hand, the one consistency that remains is that i don't really like people trying to confirm whether i'm angry or not, and even more so if they don't take my word for it when i say not really. hahaha. it's just a quirk.

sigh. i really don't like the way i handled stuff in the past. no wonder my mother said i was an extremist. i wonder what changed the way i handle things? i guess i must've banged into walls far too frequently until it occurred to me i was being masochistic?

i don't feel so terrible about the things that happened to me. i feel far worse realising i was the problem. it just..it suddenly feels like i can understand why so many take it out on other people simply because they are too ashamed of their own being, whether they realise it or not. i don't accept their actions, but i guess the least bit i can do is just to understand them, even if i am angry with them.

...it's time like this that fills me with so much regret.

how? should i just close one eye and ignore everything that's happened and move on? or should i go on prying into my past written stuff and accept all that's happened? the latter makes me feel horrible. how??

oh and btw, the stuff happened for quite some time liao. maybe starting from 2003, and ended only some time one or two years back, i think.

i love puzzle quest!

so i did a random search.

AHHHH it had a ps2 version in year 2007 and i missed it!!! i am so sad!!!!

but at the same time i found it has a DS and a WII version!!! 8DDD

i'm not sure about DS since there are people complaining that the game has poor controls due to poor size compared to psp and the AI is as lame as it can get, but WII? i believe it will be there long enough for me to get! 8D shall read reviews in the future.

it was rated 8.5 on gamespot! which is good 8D

that reminds me. final fantasy series tends to get a minimum of 9.0. i think it was 9.7 for ff7 and 9.8 for ff8. not sure lah. but what i so totally agree with is 10.0 for chrono cross 8D ohhh loves.

i still haven't managed to pull myself through chrono trigger. i never thought i'd be beaten by games with far too old gameplay and graphics. i've tried ff5 and ff6 (or at least i think those were the series) but i couldn't take it. too inflexible and too boring. UGH i never thought i'd lose to these games!!

i think ps1 generation of RPGs were really wonderful though. i hope future game producers don't forget the plot twists and 'common sense'-based gameplay are what makes a game the gem it is. i wouldn't mind repeating playing 10 chrono crosses and 10 xenogears and 10 ... anyway please don't repeat xenogears disc 2...it was horrible. the WORST! sometimes i suspect disc 2 was written by a completely new writer cuz the former writer kena H1N1 or something. (do not question the logic of this. end of story.)

ok, now that i have Wild Arms in my psp, i have a new game to test ! YAY!

i want my ace prosecutor!

where is the friggin translation!? QUICK! i have waited for 4 mths!

meantime, i just completed my Fuushi Yuugi dating game, which wasn't a dating game after all. and of all characters i got, i only got Takiko as my closest friend. i wanted takumi. THAT'S IT! i'm going to come in between Uruki and Takiko and be the bad girl in the game that i should be!!! well it took me only three days to finish one storyline.. what the hell. it's just a friggin promotional game for the manga itself man!!

and i'm about done with mga 1 & 2... i've replayed them so many times that i don't get a kick out of them anymore. i want an mga3--interface of mga1, flexibility of mga2, and storyline of mgs 8D but it doesn't exist. emoness.

waiting for a new mgs game on psp! i dunno if it's out, and i haven't bothered to check.

i am currently downloading a dragon ball game on ds lite. it's called Origins. dl-ed both jap and eng for shuang. i wonder how it'll turn out. people say it's nice...i wonder if it's nicer than kh 328/2 days or something like that? i played it and felt that it was some kind of dry grinding game. well, it is lah. disappointtttment.

and i'm trying to get my hands on wild arms. apparently it is one of the only decent SPRGs on psp. i went to google for SRPGs on psp. sadly i have 60% of the games. are they the only good games on psP??? ...

i don't know if i should get field commander.. i saw the interface and i'm quite confused. yaddaaaa.

i can't believe someone recommended riviera or something like that. last i remember, it's a crap game.

ahhhghhh game dryness. to think mga1 and mga2 are now considered the top 5 games and i'm already through with them. noooo. no ness. nooo!

you'd think dissidia is nice. i played it. and realise it's just a fan series game. it's tragic. it was hyped. gan. but i'm getting the eng ver to try out anyway lah. last i tried was jap.

when are they going to create an SPRG for dragon ball? or is there already one? i want a solid storyline one man! best is it contains all the way from origins to Z end! i dun want GT though. yeah i'm a fan of dragon ball but GT is like some fanfiction gone "epic-ly" wrong. i like budokai but it's on ps2.

i want a puzzle quest sequel.

ok, enough game ramblings. time to eat and fight wooh!

jumping search

i was walking when i remembered this old personality test i did in the past. it's about people and their walking styles, like if you walk big steps you are a certain type of person etc. so here i am, searching for walking styles, only to find completely different things than in the past. and jumping search i ended up with introverts. like what does walking have to do with introverts??

anyway, read 2 points that i felt were like half an enlightenment:

1. "Introverts may like people very much, but find it draining to be around anyone too long."

2. "May occasionally think they told you something they didn't, because they're 'always going over things in their head.'"

point 1 is something like that. only that i don't find it just draining. i find it irritating and damn tiring. hahaha.

point 2 is 1000% true. i had friends who got emo or angry with me because i didn't tell them something which i honestly believed i did. (i probably still believe i did) it's such a repeated experience than i got this impression i've done that too many times.

anyway i just did a walking test. it makes no sense. the questions are weird and when i got my results, i think..erh i am not the type to stroll and breathe in and take in nature and become one with Buddha. i basically just want to get to where i am ASAP and get the hell out of where i am ASAP. 8D the only time i feel relaxed is when i'm taking a bus which is confirmed to be slow. hahaha.

i dunno why choosing "long conversations after dinner" attributes to slow walking. i think it's not related??

hmm. y'know, i've searched on personality types so many times that now i don't really feel like searching and reading what i already know. and i fear introversion is becoming overrated. everyone is feeling so special about being introverted when essentially there's nothing really better or worse in the areas of personality...is there?

maybe i'm just hoping i'd somehow stumble upon something that would crash my life entirely and i realise OH NO! i didn't realise this!!!! or something dramatic. hahaha.

and jumping search, now i'm reading about the need for personal space. for some reason when lh and i talk about it, we have strong feelings about personal spaces. hahaahahahaa. sadly i only found one article so far but it pointed out quite critically when it's about.

it's weird to talk about this now, but i highly value my personal space. i talk when i feel like it. i don't when i don't. PERIOD! i swear on multiple occasions i almost died when i was interrogated why i don't want to talk to people about my innermost thoughts. and worse the interrogators got angry. :O!?!??! why???? why must i be an open book???

so, i shall go eat dinner. byebye~

scared of bugs?? PHOBIC MAN!

ok, i may have told you before, that i'm scared of bugs.

but i correct that.

i'm practically phobic.

now there's a difference between a typical girl who's scared of bugs and a person who is just so phobic of bugs... ...let's just say it's dangerous just being around a phobic person. =__=

i wanted to scoop water and flush the golden throne when suddenly i felt something unnatural touch my hand and the next thing i saw something dark with something sprouting out of it

soon after i started screaming and i opened the door in the midst of the panic to facilitate easier rescuing (aka my parents) while i continued to scream in terror.

MIND YOU I WAS CLOSE TO TEARSSSS

i was almost trembling i swear!!! started washing my hands with dettol and wiping my hands over and over on my shirt!!!!

i think it took me somewhere around 5mins to start forgetting the horror. oh GOD!

ugh and i swear my hand was spas-ing from time to time from the post trauma of having contact with the damned cockroach, if i haven't mentioned what the hell actually touched my hand.

oh and my face was twitching so badly it became fixed at a constipated expression.

god why the hell did the bug stick around water that came from washing machine and is meant for washing toilet bowl???

you know, i've been hearing so many bug stories (what eat half a lizard or tasting baby roaches in the middle of bubble tea and ants coming together with the malt drink when you buy from vending machine) that now when i buy my snacks i chew bit by bit and inspect just so i don't get the lucky draw. because if i do get the lucky draw, basically my tongue is gonna drop off.

$#($*&#@(*%&@*(%&($%($*%(*#$&(*%$

and why the danger around me?? last time i shook and spas-ed and yelled incessantly at what i thought was a stick insect when it actually was just a bunch of threads. NOTE THIS--i swear i was doing air swimming in the presence of my friends while being in a hysteria over a BUNCH OF THREADS

on a happier note, watch Up! it's a very movie. i teared a couple of times. it's damn sad when something matters to you so much that the thought of not achieving it can be so painful. ahhhhhh. and i love the bird. 8D

oh. and chalet nights, are ultra destructive to my health. i am still trying to recover from lack of sleep over the long weekend with national day. btw, i missed national day program. :/

doodle of the day - failed glass balls

doodle of the day. i wanted to friggin draw something technological. but i didn't know how to go beyond the friggin glass surface. so it became another shoujo meaningless crap.

to match the colouring i decided to just colour the chara straight without doing a sketch. ok i cheated a bit but generally...

... i think i'm better off doing sketches first. hahahahaha. this looks horrible.

recently all my colour scheme litat. ok. will change to dark colours in my next doodle. yaya!

doodle of the day - meaningless

it was supposed to be colourful hair, but i think it doesn't look rainbow so never mind lah.

and the background too bland so i added this.. and the pic looks even more retarded. ah well. can always draw again. (but not the same pic lah. so spastic)

doodle of the day - pink hair

hehehe. in the mood! doodle of the day.

Super Junior - Sorry, Sorry (Japanese Lyrics)

i finally found it at a chinese site!

now to try to romanise it...

Sorry, Sorry （romaji）

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry nigashi wa shinai sa
nigirishimeta te wa hanasanai yo Baby
Shawty, Shawty, Shawty, Shawty mechakucha suteki sa
sumi kitta hitomi ga megami no youna baby

mada? mou? motto isoge motto isoge mani au
honto wa doushitai no? (nuke dasenakunaru)
karada ga katamaru kokoro ga torokeru
mekurumeku sekai sa (nuke dashitakunai)

oshige monaku　sarashitasou no suhada
daitanfuteki de suteki na egao
koyubi no saki made somerare sousa
tori kaeshitsukanai hodo ni fall in love

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry nigashi wa shinai sa
nigirishimeta te wa hanasanai yo Baby
Shawty, Shawty, Shawty, Shawty mechakucha suteki sa
sumi kitta hitomi ga megami no youna baby

Tan tan tan ta ta ta ta ran tan tan tan tan ta ta ta (yume ni muchuu sa Baby)
Tan tan tan ta ta ta ta ran tan tan tan ta ta ta ta ra pa pa ra

Go...ai no wana ni masshigura (Hey go)　

karakawanaide awai kitai wo
(kimi wa) Love maker (dare mo) otosenai na
(boku wa) akiramenai yo (takanatteru one, two, three, four)

shigusa to shisen de karame torareta
shizuka ni shinkou shite yuku mousou
nemuru no mo wasurete oboreteru no sa
hiki kaesenai tokoro made fall in love
(mada! motto! mada! motto!)

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry nigashi wa shinai sa
nigirishimeta te wa hanasanai yo Baby
Shawty, Shawty, Shawty, Shawty mechakucha suteki sa
sumi kitta hitomi ga megami no youna baby

Tan tan tan ta ta ta ta ran tan tan tan tan ta ta ta (yume ni muchuu sa Baby)
Tan tan tan ta ta ta ta ran tan tan tan ta ta ta ta ra pa pa ra
(Let's dance dance dance dance)
(Let's dance dance dance dance)
(Let's dance dance dance dance)
(Let's dance dance dance dance)

Hey! ikenai koto hodo nee hamarikomu mono sa yeah (Oh~)
mou sakarau koto mo dekinai okashikunari sou hey...

eien ni boku dake no mono soba ni ite
saikou no yume wo misete ageru kara　
ai wo kataru yori honne wo sarase
nerai sadametara hora that that that that girl

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry nigashi wa shinai sa
nigirishimeta te wa hanasanai yo Baby
Shawty, Shawty, Shawty, Shawty mechakucha suteki sa
sumi kitta hitomi ga megami no youna baby

Credited to 金安静！

Korean Lyrics~~

Nobody

ok, this is a bit qian da but i haven't gotten the foundations of japanese right and i'm now trying to learn hangul too. is it even called hangul?

anyway to start things out, i'm trying to read Nobody lyrics. haaahaahahha!

wonder girls - nobody

Citadels

i finally found it. but i couldn't buy it for an extremely stupid reason.

i was going to watch transformers when i chanced upon this shop just outside the e!hub cinema ticketing booth. i saw citadels inside!!! i immediately took out my $50 note and went in. but the cashier told me,

"my colleague is on leave, and s/he (forgot) has the key, so i can't open the cupboard. sorry..."


....

does that mean that if the cleaner forgets to come and s/e has the key to the toilet we all die together???

there is seriously something wrong with the above logic!!!!!!!

at that time i was too stunned to think about anything. after that i found it amusing. now i find it stupid!!!!

i know there was something i wanted to talk about...

but i just can't remember. sigh.

Pink Army

have you ever come across a group of friends all wearing pink and black?

well i have while i was on the train. i've come across people wearing gothic lolita and walking all over bras basar (sp?). but somehow a group of 3 girls and 1 guy wearing pink and black simply strike me as weirder.

while i was talking, two of them started staring at me quite openly i might say. they started to scroll their eyes up and down like they were studying some kinda species. gave each other the knowing look, gave me the mocking look and continued to stare.

like, !?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

man. i missed testing their reactions cuz i was talking to a hungry lazy man and equally lazy air headed charbo. i wanted to give them the same stare they were giving me, i wanted to ask straight, "what you looking at??? never see chio man before???" i wanted to.. hmm let's just say the possibilities are endless.

what would you do if someone started openly staring you with a not so friendly expression + a little bit of mockery at that? i'm curious man.

i wasn't insulted cuz i do tend to get funny stares even from uncles (wtf?), but i do wonder what went through their minds while they were studying my lovely bod. i mean, what could possibly go through the minds of bimbos????

btw, their bodies were pretty visually interesting too. one was one mass too huge for her fabric while the other was a black......hmm. water bottle.

a bit of updates for cosfest day 2

first off, for those who know dragon ball:
the real Mr. Satan
^i first saw this some time when i was still in secondary school. ahhh the good laughable days like the scent of rotten lemon.

due to my lack of ram, my brain has forgotten most of the day. but here are some highlights that made my day:

1. someone who cosplayed Armstrong from fullmetalaclhemist--weee!! ok. he was singing this YMCA song and changed it to YAOI which somehow excites girls for mysterious reasons. he won the cosplay single category competition and he's going to japan!!! (i think to compete? now i'd like to see how he's going to translate that dude)

2. there's this friend whom i disturbed on msn (and i had a nightmare that she wanted to kill me cuz her msn nick said "DND (do not disturb) unless it's about WCS (world cosplay summit) or I will EAT YOU") <-- i went to PM her "DISTURB" before i went offline... she won the group cosplay competition and she's going to japan!!!

3. mah old friend manda and her friend jac also my friend and liz and me went to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. whatever whoever says, it is nice!! although i much loved the more focused and emo drama part one, part two is the bloodlusttt! personally, i think part two's story is kinda loose and to be honest, could use better focus. i mean transformers doesn't really have a story in the first place but part two does have a somewhat solid premise, just that i think they were cramping too many sequences in there... still!! part two's fight scenes are the LOVE! i only wish they fought more... and seriously, we didn't realise it was a 2hr 45mins show OoO it flew by!! (i wish for more fight scene. Optimus Prime and Bumble Bee have never fought harder. my impression of part one was that Prime was a friggin loser whose only role is to get bashed)

4. the highlight--Manda treated us to dinner!!!!!!!!!!! i feel she deserves ten loves and ten kisses for it :DDDDDD (L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(L)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K) (is that ten? no idea) anyway this is...this is unseen before!!! serious!!! for the close to 10yrs that i knew her, she has never treated me before!!! (not that i remember) but suddenly, without any resistance or anything, she straightforwardly said... "this dinner's on me" *Straight face* OH!!! really, i was quite touched. haha.

and one last thing worth remembering too. during my poly days, i made friends, and also made enemies. and the next one or two years i spent quite a bit of time moping and regretting, wishing i were wiser with the way i dealt with friendship. everyone is ok--only with different types of flaws. but i never really learnt what it meant to accept, and not just to tolerate. and if these same people i mistreated never wanted to speak to me again or accept my apology, i completely understand. but on cosfest, it just felt like all the drama in the past are finally laid to rest. for that, i feel this year's cosfest had a little more to offer than the rest. :) i don't know how i'll ever bring this up to them, but i just want to thank them for forgiving me.

it's 4am

and i'm still up online. i am so tired. sigh. 2nd night of killing myself silly due to *censored*. it ain't so perfect anymore eh when you become a Ringlord--description given by swj--for honorable soldiers who gained dark eye rings due to grinding up till past 3am.

that aside, i just remembered something. liz went for her sec 1/2 class gathering. she has a classmate called Lim Xue Ni, and she's now an intern teacher at HSC. she says, "please don't bully any new teacher whose surname begins with Lim." LOL.

interestingly, i learnt that Ms Karen Ng might have returned with a new name--Mrs Karen Fa. is that true. wow. this is bizarre. i dreamt of her just days ago, smacking me silly about some weird thing. i forgot what it was, but my. how surreal. she is now a Mrs. i wonder if her story about her girl being primary 6 (she's probably jc now or older since i heard that story many years ago) is actually true. maybe she has two sons as sidekicks to boot and they're all in ns (twins mah).

Cosfest Day I

...i woke up at 1pm. LOL.

well, nothing much to say about it. these days, my mind erases memory faster than i can store it.

all i can say is, it's good seeing the same faces.

and at the same time, it's sad too.

someone actually...

...visited my maybecanuse blog leh!!!!

i am so stunned!! and surprised!! :DDD!!!

lovely!

it is infinitely different, using an Acer 256mb intel celeron computer and switching to something that's 4gb ram and intel core 2 quad whatever kok i don't know much about coms. and it sure is different to use wireless mouse and keyboard. but in the end, i am using my old acer mouse and using a white sensonic keyboard, the one i went gaga over a few posts ago. funnily, i actually type most accurate with my oldest keyboard--the acer one. sigh, what the hell.

that aside, the white screen is giving me a freer feel. i likeee.

i deliberately decided to leave the mistake on. i just realised i typed wide as white. wtf?

and i just played a typing guy. game i mean. it says i type 501 characters per minute. i swear it's a lie. i just had a convo with swj and my sis on msn and i swear i'm talking alien. as you can see, typing game = typing guy? whide it white is whide wide? SHIT

anyway. must be sensonic's fault. what am i to dDO!

tml, if i'm in the mood, i will do some blog updates. if not. woohO!HO!O

dragon ball is the love!

i have no idea if it's the new broadband plan i'm using or the website in general but some things are not loading properly (e.g. tagboard)

anyway, these few nights i have been watching dragon ball movies...though in english dub LOL. if there's ever a complete collection of english and japanese dub together, i will get my hands on it. hahahaha.

and although english dub can sound ridiculous at times, it never fails to amuse me. i tried watching a particular ova in chinese and cantonese--suddenly, the english dub friggin looks bloody professional LOL

occasionally i find kid gohan and goten's voices ridiculous, but sometimes they sound quite ok actually. as for goku...actually he has quite good combat voices. but his general speech is kinda outta the world wtf? haha. english dub seriously makes every character completely different from the japanese dub o__O partly cuz they changed the context of what they were actually saying almost completely. i doubt kid gohan would say "check it out!" in japanese equivalent when he's looking at his dad charging up power...like wtf??!

come to think of it, in my surroundings, there aren't a lot of fellow dragon ball fans. in fact, the only fan who's more into it i can even think of is actually my elder cousin who's turning 40 =__= he introduced dragon ball and transformers to me actually. he's another ps game fan who loves RPGs and SRPGs, especially the type with no FMVs (full motion videos) cuz they "are a complete waste of time". and btw i might have remembered wrongly, but he said something about learning japanese because he wanted to play japanese version games. dot dot dot. (btw he and my youngest uncle both learns japanese out of interest and have both been stewards some part of their career lives o.O)

so, it's quite hard to find a fellow 'appreciator' of the dragon ball art. i seriously don't see how dragon ball character designs are weird. in fact my sis and i have an eye on what a 'good looking' saiyan is. just 10mins ago we came to the conclusion that Broly is one of the most decent saiyan character design who looks good in super saiyan form (not the ultra super saiyan form), and that teenager gohan before his final power was drawn out is actually good looking too. hahaha. goku looks best in his normal form or in gogeta.

just in case you're not a dragon ball fan.. some reference! :D

i just realised that the pictures are too big. =__= aiyah, too bad lah.

Broly:



i finally found a decent reference!

image one
image two
image three

dunno how to resize, bo bian paste link. LOL.

Teenager Gohan:


weee!

image one
image two


and finally, Goku!



image one
image two

yahhh. no matter how many years pass, goku is still my fave from the series!

for my own reference: SSJ five

actually, i think i have a better chance of getting better references by scanning my trading cards. =.=

i drew fan comics of dragon ball before. but when i moved house some years back, they were all either lost, thrown or something. i was very sad for a very long time. it's not easy drawing those muscles leh!!! speaking of muscles, i realised that we somehow watch the whole show without quite caring about the fact that they are overly endowed with muscles. erh whatever. and the show has one of the best japanese dubs ever! due to obviously biased opinion.

anyway, i shall now get back to watching broly second coming. liz is finally off the phone with some talkative weirdo. see ya~~

i forgot to update?

i actually forgot to update my blog? wowww.

anyway, i realised i have winnie from flute section's photo in my phone. oh hahahahahahaaha.

that aside, recently i've been getting caught in my other passion. in the past it was called dictation. later it's called reading out loud. now it's called voice acting. LOL. i've been playing mga1 and mga2, then went back to puzzle questing, completed my 1997/1998 (dunno which year) houshin engi on psx emulator, then started playing japanese versions of ace attorney. and now i'm playing a relatively old game Jeanne D'Arc on PSP. it's an SRPG--it's kinda slow, but the story/gameplay turned out to be surprisingly ok. when i first played it, it intrigued me for a short while before i lost interest cuz it started getting tedious. but now i realise i didn't really understand the game system then and the start pacing is quite crappy. someone told me suikoden iii is actually quite fun, but seriously, the pacing at the start is ridiculously slow. so it's about the same thing yes.

and loves! all the above games have dialogues for me to read out loud! and no thanks to my favourite activity of voicing, liz has to hear me ramble all day. LOL.

you know, i slept at 3am++ last night so now my eyes are burning and the things i'm typing out now are not censored, sensored, detected for errors and the likes. no QC, no nothing, no eyes reading my text yayaya.

now on case 3 of Gyakuten Kenji (Ace Prosecutor). wanna finish before English version comes out. this is a good test of liz and my japanese literacy. :D

speaking of ace attorney, i was playing Apollo Justice, japanese version. then i realised that the english translation for part one kinda busted themselves. LOL! in part 4, there's a case where there's this guy who sells salty broth noodles. he mentioned that phoenix wright and his assistant used to frequent his shop. i didn't understand that until i played the jap version. in the english versions of part 1-3, phoenix and maya always go to burger joints. but the japanese equivalent is miso ramen. so, it's supposed to be phoenix and maya frequented that guy's father's miso ramen shop instead of a burger joint. no wonder when i played english apollo justice, the part where he said wright used to frequent the shop didn't really make sense. (we thought it was yanni yogi's spaghetti shop LOL.)

in english version, phoenix and party are all in los angeles (shit, suddenly realise i dunno how to spell) or something like that and franziska is from germany. in the jap version, they are obviously in japan and franziska is from america. LOL what the hell!?

actually, ace prosecutor has its own merits, but i guess you can't compare prosecutor and attorney games...they are two worlds apart, seriously. the focus of the gameplay is actually different. personally i prefer the attorney series lah, but i'll save the verdict till i finish the game.

OH YAY! liz is off the phone! i shall continue my reading. yayayay~ see you guys in maybe another 1 day, 2 days, 1 week, 1 month (depending on when i remember the blog?)~ loveyyy!

oh, and lh has gone to defend the country. next up...the laziest man i've ever known. LOL.

3D Movies!

on saturday night i went to watch Monster VS Alien at GV Tampines with my TP seniors. it was a gruesome $13.10. i went to watch the movie cuz my sis asked if i wanted to go and i didn't know what we were watching or how much it was at the time. ugh.

if i had known i was gonna wear some kinda lens/specs i woulda worn my contacts man!!

anyway, we were surprised initially! all the woohs and wows. but as the show progressed, either the animators forgot to take full advantage of this new 3D effect or well, we simply got used to it. it kinda reminds me of Science Center's past attempts at 3D. haha.

it was cool! i recommend the movie. it's funny. LOL. the main character turned out unexpectedly likeable. somehow she appeared kinda doink at the start haha. there's this character called Bob who's seriously super funny. but i dunno how to describe... he's just so brainless in a brainfull way hahahaha.

if you've watched it, let me know what you think? i think it's worth the money!

Ace Prosecutor

i remembered that around this time of the year, the new Ace Attorney series should be coming out, though whether Ace Attorney V = Ace Prosecutor is unknown. so i went to search google at the start of this month for the ace series, but i got nothing except scheduled/rumored releases.

so, i dunno how, but i ended up going nds rom sites and searched for "Gyakuten"...

well i got meself the Japanese versions for Ace Attorney 1 - 4, and...Gyakuten Kenji! (Ace Prosecutor) might be an early release or what, but images were not available yet. so i went ahead and played it.

...

ok, let's just say i prefer the Ace Attorney series interface lah hor. the main colour combi in this game is like, seriously hen desu ne? (weird) gay purple-pink thingy as the main box in the center (compared to the orangey thing in ace attorney series), and...what the hell, pixel art characters walking around in the screen!?!? i dunno if this is their idea of interactivity but well, you get to investigate the crime scene while walking around the crammed area of a DS screen. i am quite stunnneeeddd... i kinda prefer the "Examine" function in Ace Attorney cuz you can see things clearly... pixel art chibi Edgeworth is just...wrong...!

a nice addition to the game though is the Logic system where you can collect questions and answers, and then combine them to form a conclusion. i'm not sure how well it works cuz so far i only answered one seriously common sense question, but other than that, if it works the way it's supposed to, i guess it makes the game far more logical than the usual guessing around in ace attorney haha.

oh no, stomach ache. brb!

mwahaha. i'm back!

not too sure whether to continue playing cuz it's in jap and i think i will seriously screw up the cases in that case. then again, at the moment i'm replaying the ace attorney series in jap version to practise jap, so maybe this would be a true test of my comprehension of the language.

anyway, the jap version seriously feels different from the english version, but i'd say the translation team is doing a really good job keeping the original context in place man.

rare it is, but i got up at about 9 today. IT'S A SUNDAY! AND I'M UP IN THE MORNING! THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!

but it's true. haha.

i suspect it has largely to do with the fact that for the last two saturdays, i had half day work due to alternate week and 5th week of the month thingy, so my body is now finally installing at the alarm into my body in the morning. (actually my body alarm doesn't really work lah. i'm supposed to wake up at 8 but i usually wake up close to 9.)

side track, i can't remember where, but i read that the problem with us humans is that we tend to trust in ourselves and our god-given abilities. the fact is we don't actually need alarm clocks; we just need to trust our bodies and gear ourselves up to wake up on time. but because we constantly doubt ourselves after failures etc, we stop trusting ourselves and rely on other things. that is so sad...!

after saying all that, i shall be self contradictory and say that i still need alarm clocks anyway. HAH

okok. time to resume story writing. not sure why but the urge to write stories is suddenly kicking me in the ass real hard. seeeeyaaaa!

新しい鍵盤！ (new keyboard!)

yayy~ quite happy. Liz and i bought a new keyboard that is ultra slim and resembles that of the mac one... it's sensonic brand, white and comes with a silicon protective cover! feels cool to type on it... and inspires people to type on it too! and for some reason it feels very shun! :D i am hoping to try out the sonic emulator game with this keyboard soon :)

on a side note, if anyone wants to join us on nannindesuka, let us know... it hasn't started yet, but there's a tagboard already~ write in jap to join in the kok ness! :D

and completely irrelevant, but i have a god-sent colleague who is working the accounts department. i don't really know her well because i only pass her things to bill (or talk to her only regarding billing matters), but on the whole we're on okay terms. and for some strange reasons...she always gives me food and snacks! :D things like cakes and sweets! and i always get to eat it before my guy colleagues! hahaha. today she gave Liz and i raspberry cake and said, "i give you two only. the guys i don't want to give!" the guys stun and stare LOL

yayaaa. god sent colleague who spoils us with snacks. wee hoo!

hey. i keep saying i will upload the baby photos right. eee yerr i never get to it.

actually i was trying to present it in flash, but forget it lah. who cares about that.

aim: this weekend, preview up shimasho!!!

new blog: nan nin desu ka?

i am so excited! hahaha. hz and i have started a blog that's gonna to be in (broken) jap! :D she suggested it, and i think the idea sounds damn cool!

anyone wanna join us? actually, i do not know if it's open to invitation, but who cares...i shall wait for her to post. she said she wanted to make the first post or something, so now i am waiting. :DDD (link is at my blog links list. wee！

as anime puts it... わくわくするぜ！！

i don't know why yesterday i could type jap straight into the browser and today it's kokking up on me, so imma like typing jap in winword and pasting here. how dumb =__= ok. 5 seconds it suddenly started working on my browser again. what the hell!?!?!?

i shall take my uncle's advice. he studies jap on his own and he has never taken a single lesson but somehow he got himself a japanese wife and is able to communicate quite well in jap. his advice is : practise, practise, practise!

i forgot what i wanted to say. aiyah. anyway, fumoffu is really nice. i hope to see more animation of full metal panic by the studios taking part in fumoffu. seriously high quality for the genre it's in man. love love.

anyway, my sis found a rusted can of braised beans at the back of our water flask. it has expired one year and 2 months. oh no. who's gonna eat it sia.

themeless post

yo~ i happen to be online. so let me talk kok.

at the moment, i am wondering what happened to baato-chan. come slack with us someday! (don't be too frightened by the whole idea of badminton and basketball and what nots. we're not much healthier and we're playing the sloth's version of sports anyway, where sports rarely outlasts 1.5hrs.)

i am trying to learn 2 songs from ayumi. and they are Love'n'hate and Rule. hah. catchy tunes.

i tried to draw. oh God, give me strength to continue drawing. i seem to draw worse and worse each other. is it...is it the psyche that is acting up??? no! i... no!!! *dramaaaaz! weeee!*

hey. i haven't finished my dinner but i'm here blogging??? ...

also, there's one thing i wanna say. how can say stuff like sue the dumb girl who brought the H1N1 in locally??? wah lao! yeah, logic says...
1. cancel the darn trip!
2. don't come back if you're ill!
3. don't cause the next 4million of us to be infected you evil soul!
4. one soul can die for all we care, don't "hai" (harm) the rest of us!

yeah anyone's head or logic can say that, but where's your heart??? have a heart! imagine you are the suay butt who kena lah! wah liu. when it doesn't happen to you, you have the best theories on how to go about handling stuff like that man. when you kena then it's a whole different story! and i don't think the girl intentionally wanted to "hai" the rest of the dunno how many millions billions and trillions of us in singapore!!!

that aside, i hope the girl wasn't really thinking of spreading the virus to the rest of the world.

sure, we have the most logical people who can't believe there are a lot of dumb people in singapore (believe me, most of us are dumber than we think we are), but we've just shown the world how heartless all of us can be dudes and dudettes!

so, have a heart. pity me and donate me $10 per person..

anyway, sigh, i miss learning dancing and singing crap with huizhen suddenly. =X (partly cuz now listening to utada songs and i saw the nobody live concert while i was looking at laptops at courts TM. lol)

em your exam over already right? let us know when you can go for a game of badminton, basketball or just cycling ok! ;D

each day, my desire to be a troll strengthens. yes. it is my next biggest aim... to be a sloth. sigh, i'm beginning to think it's in the blood. the whole tan family (if you're wondering, my mother's the tan... i'm ng) is literally inflicted with laziness. all my tan relatives have at one point worked extremely hard, and then they ended up all becoming sloths who occasionally pop by without warning just to talk kok. all 6 of the tan siblings are sloths.

eldest - best sloth. used to tend a mama shop (where i nab freebies and where he can be caught sleeping while tending the shop), but has retired with 4 kids all giving pocket money. eldest sloth. and, he dislikes staying out long because he wants to go home and sleep. dude. (remember rolly polly? she looks something like him.)
2nd eldest - she is a very lazy person. i don't know what to say, but she's even lazy to think. mom says she's practically an absorber/copycat of the environment, see what learn what talk what.
3rd - he used to have a business i think. then for his family he spent a lot, then now he's a taxi driver. somehow he has enough money to go holiday as and when he likes. favourite activity is talk kok, watch tv, sleep, roll around. cancel the last part.
4th - he used to open chain food stalls across JB, but closed his business for his family. anyway, saving a lot of stories, i dunno what he does now, but his favourite activity is watching taiwanese news and sleeping.
5th - my mother. her favourite activities are read, exercise, watch tv (especially about animals and crime and blood and gore !??!?! ), and sleep. my memory of her is literally a sleeping woman. to me, sleeping is not her 1/3 of her life activity, but half her life. LOL.
youngest - the uncle who slacks at my house. he owns a collar pin business. he uses "we make badges" when there's really just him. he is so bloody predictable it's funny. he likes to watch tv, listens to news radio, buys toto, and sleeps. i'm sure those who come my house must have at least seen him once at the sofa. even when buying new sofa, i thought of him first.

little bit of trivia. when mom said let's buy new sofa, i said, "you should ask uncle... he spends 2/3 of his day there." and i was thinking he would most likely feel alarmed if we were to change sofas. then when my mother finally said, "hey i throwing this sofa away and getting a new on," my uncle immediately sat up, looked alarmed and said, "why? what? this sofa is good wat, why change?" LOL. when the new sofa came though, he said it's ok and he continues his life as a sloth there. HAHAHA. what a predictable man. i will laugh if one day he fuses with the sofa. erh. actually i won't laugh...i think i'll spas and die.

so, i have proven my case... it's in the blood. lol. my favourite past time has never really changed... game, writing, and sleeping. i lied--i don't like reading. LOL. i only read when it piques my interest enough. my average time in secondary school was 3~4mths for one book. which proves i don't read much because at that rate i can only read 4 books per year. but i liked writing. and the only reading comes when i'm reviewing what i write, seriously.

btw my sis' favourite past time is drawing and...what else, sleeping. it was worse in the past. i think it got better. she used to sleep for hours, and hours, and hours...only to wake up, and sleep again. hahaha.

so, what blood of my father's did i get. i've been trying to analyse for years. i think my sis inherited his ability to concentrate, focus and do one thing (his is machinery, liz is drawing). of all the things i had to inherit from him was my superb temper. unfortunately i learnt to do things my mother's way--anyhow hamtam. and she dare to scold me when she say i do things like she does! @$(#*&$#@ !?? oh. i think i inherited his kpohness in tampering with things though.

my mother thinks i'm as noisy as he is. but i have no idea how noisy he is. actually....i think he's quite noisy. oh, whatever.

oh...! sloth is my destiny... woe be to me...!

Listening to: Heart Station
Watching: Dragon Ball OH LOVE!

i was wrong...

there IS a card that costs more than 50,000PTS... and it's TEN TIMES THAT AMOUNT!!! i spent half a million on a Dark Loan card T__T sai. if i get it through random card packs, i uh... actually i dunno what i'd say or do lah.

i ate a medicine for itchy outburst and i felt like sleeping the whole day. smart me.

sigh. this year is only halfway through. i feel like this year is bloody boring. cosfest is coming, natsu matsuri is coming, but i feel like it's another passing year. am i just growing old? am i finally going to wither?? and rot and die??? ...

that aside, i have no idea where to go after september. my contract ends september, just so you know. and by then, we would have two allies going up to Shaolin Temple and training up to defend our country. and i'm aiming to quit everything and live a secluded life by 30yrs old. i have no idea how i'm going to achieve that.

this is my grand plan for 30yrs old --> save up enough for investment by 30yrs, spend only a few hundred dollars per month, make money generate money through investment, then live a life of a troll--coming out only to hunt for food (description taken from a senior). i quite fancy that life actually. and in fact, my uncle is living that very life now. he's selling collar pins, he is his own boss, he watches tv everyday and only comes out when we summon him or when he's out buying toto.

he's an atheist--does not believe in Gods or ghosts for that matter. but i have no idea why he believes in luck, fate and destiny. ah well. humans are contradictory.

some people tell me years fly by quickly. oh yes? i feel like i've struggled to finally get past 21yrs mark, and i can't wait for this lifetime to pass. whether people remember you or not, you'd have passed this life anyways, no? hmm. should we live a short and exciting life, or a long and boring life? or should we live a long and exciting life, or a short and boring life? before i was 21, i was waiting for 21yrs old to come and somehow i had this very vivid idea that i was going to drop dead because by 21 i'd be super old. but now that i've leveled up to 21, i began to accept reality that life doesn't stop at 21. and now i suddenly feel that level 60-80 is going to take damn long to reach. sigh, so much work to survive till then.

ahhh. if one day someone invented this machine where you don't have to stay awake to be alive...i'd want to live in it :D you know the manga houshin engi? one of the sennin lives in this life support sleeping capsule...i want it...!

and in my next lifetime, i want to be born a definitive woman or man... no more of this not-so-unique identity of an androgynous nonsense...! sigh... as a no man no woman, you either get labeled as an unattractive woman or a butch, or a half assed she-man or something like that. y'know? like not left not right no straight?? sigh~. if i were a definitive woman, then at least i can dance nobody like somebody, or a gee like a true blue korean lady. hah. and if i'm a man, i want to walk around the house half naked.

and i want my astrological sign to be something like libra, gemini or aquarius. hahhh all the air air one. finally sian of being water element.

oh and if i were born a man in my next life, i want to stay up the mountains and train and blast "ki" energy out of my palms. :D it's difficult, but i'd be too accustomed to that life to bother if it's difficult.

meantime, i have this life to think about it. =/ so, what to do with it? i have one life, about maybe hundreds of thousands of hours left to make some money to achieve my troll dream. sigh~ what to do. not sure what to do leh.

maybe i should experiment starving myself to death in modern singapore, where i have a mother who fears famine???

hmm...

sigh~ it's only may. going june. ahh~

actually, i'm half torn by what i read about chinese horoscope. it says, rabbit chan, no can change job this year! i was like, "scorn scoff pfft whatever" but now i find myself stuck in a job because mom is making lots of noise if i dare to make drastic moves -__- i'm 21. so, i should stop listening to momma?? hmm. the other truth is, i want to finish up what i was tasked to do at the current job before i wave goodbye. so i'm giving myself until sep too. that would be a new record...10 full mths at a job for the first time. i mean, woah, i actually committed 10 mths. that is un precedented.

chinese horoscope also says, rabbit chan, if you don't die kotoshi (this year), rainen and rairainen (whatever next next year is), you will eat lots of carrot. oh, i hope it's true.

by the way, don't lend things to men. one of the men ever told me before, "amongst us men, we lend/borrow things and never return." i'm beginning to think it's true. and money is one of them items. so, dudes and dudettes, no lend things ok. i have nothing against men. you might be one of those men who return things on time. but a couple of them have destroyed my faith in people returning items altogether.

that aside, anyone wanna commission me to draw? :D greeting cards or whatsoever. for friends only. lol. and i draw only simple things.

i am in dire need of sleep and money. but i'm too much of a sloth to do anything.

maybe one day Buddha will *zap* appear at my door step and decide to whip my life into shape? hmm...

k, enough whining. i probably should go back to story writing soon. sigh. sigh sigh sigh yaya!

Listening to: Utada Hikaru - Travelling
Watching: Dragon Ball Z (Majin Buu Saga)
Playing: Budokai 3, Mga2

games, games, games...

hmm. weird thought, but i don't understand why humans would want to engage in intimate weeheehees with animals. isn't that just kinda... hmm how would you put it. otherworldly?

that aside. we finally got ourselves a new philips dvd player. NO CAN BUY HYUNDAI DVD BUYER OKS MINNA-SAN. it's crap.

that aside, i am back to playing Dragon Ball Z: Budokai 3. i just realised it's rated above 8/10 at gamespot...and that's a good score :) and they gave Chrono Cross 10/10 -- that i won't forget cuz i remember replaying at least 6 times without once saying it was getting boring. and at that time i had no idea of its ratings. now that i know, i can't agree more! love love love.

weird tip for mga2 players. no one's gonna read this, but hey, who cares.

so, i was trying to earn points. i used the Big Boss card that generates 2x PTS each time you complete a mission, but the highest i ever got with it was some 11000 or so PTS. card packs are sold from 600PTS to 1500PTS and you get to buy 10 packs per category every intermission, so 11000 really isn't a lot when you think about it (there are 4 categories). single cards are worst. i haven't seen anything more expensive than 50000PTS but that's still ex anyway.

i got really sick of earning an average of 10800PTS every round when rare cards keep appearing in the single cards shop. eventually i started to use military gain cards. i think the best place to use it is at the Cargo Train eliminate missions. all your enemies are sukiyaki boxes, things that the Stingers (now called FIM2A, Redeye II or something to that effect) can aim from the starting point.

so my basic set up for PTS earning:
Military Gain+ cards for both Venus and Snake
at least 3 stingers per person
a big boss card on snake
lots of cost reduction cards just in case you can't get all the above 3 asap. it's a real pain in the butt if you don't have cost reduction cards to cut the wait.

this method nabs me 18800PTS per round in maximum 5mins worth of gameplay...compared to the same time of 10800PTS. (all because of the military gain+ cards that generate 1000PTS per enemy destroyed while standing in the military gain+ traps) since you don't have to move out of the trap due to the auto-aim feature of stingers... i kinda think this is the cheapest way of doing it.

mwahahhaha. my points have hit the million mark (L)(L)(L) actually, i didn't check out if gamefaqs already has this tip. if it does, what the hell? and if there's a better tip, what the double hell??

come to think of it, i was talking about budokai 3. wtf? k. schizophrenic outburst.

nonsense aside, budokai 3 is quite entertaining. but i think it's not something you can play for years...it's something that once you've forgotten what it's like and when you replay it from start, it's a really great game. the crap is i have a saved data for it, but i decided not to use it and use my other memory card to start a clean slate. and i unlocked uub whom i didn't in the previous data simply because i didn't think a dumb game like that required faqs. (i didn't know the existence of uub, supreme kai and omega shenlong as unlockable characters.) so what the hell. i think i'm playing this game far better than i did in the past, but whatever; seems to apply to everything i do anyway.

i suddenly got the desire to draw and so i started to draw. but after i started drawing, i'm starting to wonder, am i too late to return to the artist's path? and so i started and started and started (i was just reviewing my sentence and i realised wow i have powerful language!). it's a pretty intense world out there, not to mention competitve. mgs2 has an interesting point to say about competition. near the end of the game, it talked about "censorship". and it said, sometimes information is a confusing thing. "nice to others," we're taught, but later in life, we're taught a different thing: "beat out the competition." quite food for taught, no? i often imagine a wonderfully peaceful world where we just do our own thing and not cross each other's line but that's the perfect world that doesn't exist. do the same as someone else and you get the same thing. is it true? i don't know. all i do know is that given the way i learn, it's going to take me at least another 10yrs to reach anything with commercial value.

it could be a matter of strategy, or diligence...or something else? i don't know. i might have mentioned before that i don't have much imagination. i piece stories up, i make relations, but i don't have images in my head when i do these things. most images in my head are nothing more than fogs, seriously.

drawing is something of a precise nature but i'm so haphazard with a lot of things i do. i like broad and general things. and when it comes to precision, i am next to a hopeless pile of wooh! whatever that is. :D

then again, oh well. enough whining. i think the bigger challenge is sucking it all up and continue drawing. i hope this whole idea of quantity drawing really is the way to improving, as is writing. i do believe reading out loud and writing a lot are the key elements to improving your linguistics abilities, not so much the quality of.

ramble ramble ramble. lalallaa. i wanna bathe. the weather sucks. oooooo.

humourless me. maybe i'd be a little bit more lively once i stop kicking myself over drawing. grguuhh.

btw, manpuku is quite nice. :D

just testing something... save save!

some thoughts

hmm. i started to think about my blogging habits in the past. i only started blogging in 2004. it was on another blogging service, which i will not name so you cannot trace ;D i started it only because i wanted to link with some other friends.

then about last year start or what i stopped using it. not sure for how long i opened and closed blogs on blogspot, then i started this blog as you see it. then after a while, i'm back to not blogging regularly. o__O erhh. wonder why.

then again, what i used to blog about were pretty negative lah. so i don't really wanna go back to blogging about what i used to blog. so emo. some more dunno when people can take my stuff, analyse it or take it apart, then attack me indirectly on their own blogs. it's quite sad, and i used to be a culprit of that myself, so, yah.

which sometimes gets me wondering, is it better to say everything on your mind, or is it better to present just the rosy image? the rosy image loses its realistic touch while being overly 'honest' may just be being irresponsible with your words. i mean, have you ever been attacked brutally with words and have it explained away as "honesty"? then honesty must not be a virtue in that context. not just because the words hurt people, but because it's an excuse for people to take no responsibility in their words.

is it true you can be the person you choose to be? or are we destined to grow into what we were originally designed to be? who designed us, the environment or ourselves? there are those who hold parents responsible for a kid's personality/behaviour, while parents are more likely to blame it on bad influence from friends or just genes that they believe they cannot correct. now there are studies on eye irises to determine whether a person is evil from birth. so should we eliminate the child from birth if he has the eye iris or the genes of a criminal? one side of the world argues that it's a mix of genes and environment that make up the personality, the other argues that it's largely genes.

and as a child, do you often wonder whether to blame yourself, your environment or your parents for who you are? are you able to eliminate blame? does it feel wrong to you to blame your parents for who you are? does it feel irresponsible to blame the environment? on the contrary, aren't people supposed to be "children of the environment?" apart from the two views about genes and environment, one more has opened up the possible 'truth' that it is 5% genes and 95% environment.

going off tangents as usual haha. one thought just led to another. you know... the world is entertaining in its own right when there are so many possibilities that people pursue. and precisely because there is so much information, it gets pretty difficult and confusing to discern the 'truth'. there are many issues that don't concern right or wrong, but it gets dragged into the picture because we simply want to win a case. who follows a 'wrong' person?

i'm itching to type, but i dunno what to type. hope it didn't bore you. haha.

on a side note, isn't it about time blogger put the fields in, "Listening to" or stuff like that? or is it already in place, just that i dunno where it is? haha.

arse splitting action..

you've heard of hair splitting, but what about arse splitting?

i dunno what i ate a few days ago. then it happened. my 12 trips to the toilet in 24 hrs. i bloody felt like a friggin dispenser. i bet you're rolling your eyes, fanning the air or dying inside after seeing that. 3u3

which reminds me, my colleage ever emailed us a bunch of definitions for different types of toilet businesses. if i find it, i'll post it in this blog. 8D

a search on the internet

come to think of it, is it easy to google your way to my blog?

i typed Ashin and Mayday was all over the place hahah.

i'm just curious cuz sometimes, people leave their favourite words all over the net for people to track their secret blogs and stuff like that, or even secret endeavours. generic names actually make it harder for your blog to be tracked, non?

that aside, i was just wondering. if you don't talk for a week, will you have a whole week worth of essay on the blog?? because that would be really cool. it's like a week worth of constipated nonsense. ...

hmm. maybe i should do some drawing instead. these days i really have nothing to say.

hahaha.

heechul cries

stuff like this makes me cry too.. it's really touching :)

can women toilet manners become meeting content?

yes, it can.

it has been proven.

we ever attended a meeting in company, with toilet manners as its content. what the hell? and it was only for women.

apparently some strange cha bo threw their bread with jam into the toilet bowl and expected that sucker to be able to suck up all that crap without getting choked to death. apparently the white-faced bowl couldn't take the shock and died with a bloodied bread stuck up its throat.

and this strange cha bo did something like that twice or what, not sure lah.

our HR was super agitated and started to go on a rave about how inconsiderate this woman is. indeed! how could you be such a disgrace to humanity and female dignity! this is going to cause social degradation and human devolution!

the HR said 2 interesting things: if it happened again, a sign in system must be created for the toilet (wow, creating job opportunities for the Toilet Security post?) and number 2, how are you gonna tell the guys what kind of meeting you attended??

someone suggested having our arses checked to see hints of timely visits. i was like, dude, this feels kinda wrong. but the HR said the Management has decided to be graceful and give one more chance to this weirdity. i say we should highlight the suspects man! i'd like to see the face of the woman who appeared straight face in meeting but is really the murderer of that giggolo.

so, the meeting ends off with a couple of women laughing at the ridiculosity (???) of the this issue, some feeling happy that half an hour has been spent on national education and a few others wondering what the hell that whole thing was about.

i swear this is STOMP worthy.

dude, what the hell is Liz' recent interest in Hatsune Miku? she can't sing my Beautiful World properly leh! and at this moment i'm listening to her songs via youtube thanks to this siao cha bo. #*$#&(@&

my saturday

i have run out of creative titles. suddenly, i feel like being a bit more hardworking by blogging. haha.

yesterday, i woke up at 9.30am even thought my work is at 9. LOL. so i reached work at 10am. and i had the audacity to leave at 1pm to take the tanah merah trip to go to Kinokuniya. i have no idea how but Liz and i went to Liang Court instead of Orchard Road.

we dropped by funan IT mall and bought x-mini second generation speaker (LH has somehow become a promoter!). then went to gamescore to find my Metal Gear Acid 2... DUDE! the shop wasn't open due to someone's wedding???

we reached liang court. shopped. end of story yay wee! what's so interesting about shopping anyway -.-

we went back to gamescore. bought 2 games at 20% off! i wouldn't have bought mga2 (preowned) if my iso was working but it wasn't. DUDE! (i have seen the advantages of an iso file compared to a UMD. at least when i go toilet and play, there wouldn't be sounds coming from the loading UMD mah. *giggles) anyways it was cheaper than online, but the previous owner... TOOK AWAY THE SOLID EYE! EVIL! (it's an extra accessory to play the game. #*$&#@(*&$*(#@$) the other game is DJMAX fever, but honestly, i don't know why i bought it o.O collector's attitude? hmm. whatever.

then because meeting time with the rest was 3.30pm, i was horribly late. LOL. reached home at 4.10pm i think and that was damn heng cuz mn reached at 4.15pm not knowing i wasn't home before 4 LOL lh told her i was home but hz was the right one when she said i wasn't hahahahaa

anyway xy (xue ying) came too! she has nice long legs. hahaha. trained up for tai tai image?

so, hz, who just suspectedly woke up not long ago and hadn't eaten breakfast and lunch, was late. and swj, we can only guess. -.-

we went to some shelter to play badminton. yahhhh. fun leh. 3 VS 3 with 2 shuttlecocks is damn cool woh. i kinda wanna try 4 VS 4 with 3 or 4 shuttlecocks. :D

give you an unimportant update. remember i whacked Liz's shoulder with my racket and then she counterattacked me with a merciless whack to my ass? while i was bathing this morning, i felt a dull ache at my ass. ahhh. the cruelty of blood relation.

so, mn complimented i have long arms and legs because i could hit shuttlecocks while being seated. this is the truth: i inherited my father's body proportions, i suspect, and there's only two things you can compare his figure to--an orang utan or a gaki. (i side tracked a full 10mins searching for gaki inside Kuon the horror game or the Manji Cultist inside tenchu wrath of heaven, but i couldn't find anything so i made do with this horrid looking thing -.-).

then we went to a nearby kopitiam to eat. (hahh. i suddenly remember hz felt like puking her sis' birthday cake while playing badminton. labour day = mother labour her kid out day? LOL.) hmm. nothing exciting about eating meat hoh.

after which we went my house to watch youtube. wow. once bring hz in, become Kpop and Jpop haven leh. we started watching Intimate Note and Family Outing. personally i preferred Intimate Note... (due to the Miss Intimate thing. LOL) then again, i haven't watched much of both so too early for judgment? hahh i like Heechul! monkey hahh

in the end, there was no mahjong and there was no Prince of Tennis. LOL way tangents offfff what i thuoght we'd be doing weeee!

after mn and xy left, the rest of started watching uwa bo wahs (??). .. and hz and i tried to learn the SNSD Gee dance and the Wonder Girls' nobody dance. hah we dance literally nobody and no body dance. hahahahahaha. i now know how to do the "no no no no no no BAPO!" dance Heheheheheh

i must emphasize. no late nights for a while now. i think none of us can take it much anymore. ughhh.

next week, anyone up to Basketball? hz's suggestion. hey, surprise leh! after yesterday's session my limbs didn't hurt as much today! last week was bad. wowww magical. exercise is magical!

i kinda wanna go on night cycling, after i change jobs and after i get a decent bicycle. been hearing all the dudes and dudettes talking about how fun it is. haven't actually experienced it myself. heard from Baato that cycling past geylang at night is an interesting sight to behold. :D

so, take care, dudes and dudettes. we shall break our legs, shoulders and arms next week...if anyone is up for it LOL.

taboo for shampoo

dear all.

do you have something called the common sense?

i'm sure you do.

unfortunately, yours truly doesn't seem to have much of that (what with a lump of muscles in the skull not quite growing into brains).

see, i had this extra bottle of shampoo that wasn't mine. it belongs to a vain ass, and it was bought out of, well, vanity and curiosity. but the contents were left to rot. so, it was there, doing nothing.

guess what i did!

use it?

yeah, i did.

i mixed it with my Head & Shoulders.

then 3 weeks later, i got a feedback from Vain Ass, "hey... got white white particles on your head leh??"

... my head has been itching for a week, but i didn't realise it was the powerful effect of some forbidden alchemy.

so dudes and dudettes, learn a brain saving lesson from my example and don't ever mix your shampoos.

(btw, i'm now using that mess of a shampoo as body soap. i hope no one comes up to me and tell me the next time we meet, "hey, you seem to have grown more hair on your body??")

random update - Hai Carnival!?

this is really random. it's been 10 days since my last update. and although i think about blogging everyday, i never really do it. why? i also dunno. sigh. i need a new job soon. blame culture drains energy, and so is defeatist attitude. now, i have energy only to play metal gear solid. *sinner prays quietly*

anyway, i never got to really talk about the day of the carnival. no, more like, i had lots of chances but i just didn't. haaa it's kinda late but i'll just highlight a few things of that day.

before you wonder what i'm talking about, a brief description.

pretty, yes? a bit senget but whatever. it's actually pixelated, so when it's captured by handphones, it looks good. hahaha. it covered a section of the wall in the canteen. i kinda think it'd make a very good banner to hang around the school for promotion, but i saw nothing of the sort.

it took place on 28 march 2009 (correct? o.o), between 9am - 3pm. it's the day ze kids kom' out to do things that generate money--end of story. YUP!

so, a few notes about the day:

01. sorry emily, i didn't buy any tickets from you! dunk me X|
02. i am quite stunned that sales for the dunk machine actually ding dong doioio-ed. (haisiansss we are $1982.?? away from our target of $2000.00!!)
03. go Lao Jiaos!

this is called--a patronising photo. WHWAHWAHWA! now, let me say this -- liz and i made it just in time for the performance. baato was on a photo taking spree. eehern (ee) was having fun talking weird (???). hz came after the performance ended. hq came many moments after the performance. end of chain.

04. ze students in ze classrooms, in all honesty, were a pretty sad bunch. no, really. i kinda think the few classes that cooped themselves up inside shoulda just booked the multi purpose room (because it's quite big), and did either of the following:
a. Load a WII and host screening for the playthrough of Fatal Frame 4
b. Load a WII and play something active / hold a tournament with WII
c. Load a PS3 and hold a fighting tournament
d. Load a PS3 and host screening for the playthrough of Metal Gear Solid 4
e. Put a bunch of tables, and set up a Mahjong Set rental store like the Aloha Pasir Ris thingy (and disclaim that you are not responsible for any gambling involved and advocate play no money so you don't get into any school troubles)
f. Set up a PSP only corner, ready a Laptop for game transferral and begin mass gaming. My personal recommendations: Metal Gear Ops (hosts up to 6 players; good for brainless killing of one another or ganging up on one another; great for laughter) / Gundam VS (i dunno what it's called, but good for tournaments) / i do not know what else has game sharing features LOL

now, some tips on how to generate sales for..
playthrough items (a & d) : pay $2 to watch (and you get to watch the entire thing)
tournament gaming (b, c, e, f) : pay $2 to play (mahjong rental different rate), tournaments go on until 1.30pm, finalist plays until 2pm, win an attractive prize and finish up before 3pm. there are a few ways to decide on finalist - get as many wins as possible, or macham auction bidding (or the keroro frog logic inside mgs) -- beat the winner and stay the winner (whoever beats you becomes the next finalist)... you think of the rest yourself lah hor. and if player loses, maybe pay $0.20 to continue (for tournament only, which means you may need to set up gaming for fun corner). (additional note: you can even do up a "rent a psp" thing) which brings in the next point...
all items: set up lottery. for the first $2, you automatically get a lottery ticket. and put up an advertisement: "the sure win lottery". the last prize can be anything as bo liao as a sweet or tissue. but make sure the main prize is something erh, students would die for...like...a Hello Kitty from Mc??? (no lah. but you get the idea.)

most importantly, make sure people feel like their money is damn worth it. some people pay $2 just for the fun. don't even think about collecting another $2...it's too damn rip off. and when you do game transferral, say it's for free and unlimited times. remember to put up "do not transfer virus into my laptop ; my laptop is still pure minded".

oh, another alternative method of revenue with playthrough items: watching playthroughs is free... then sell food and drinks inside :DDD hahahahahaa.

too bad i saw nothing of the sort above. i saw a lot of dark classrooms with terrible spaces for gaming and worst, no aircon. LOL! k. enough rambling about games.

05. another item i feel is worth improving on. i don't know if there was anything in the school hall because i didn't go up. but if there was nothing going on, it is the bloody best place for the karaoke item man. and it goes on all the way until 2pm. there are a hell lot of combis for this kind of item (like not forgetting lyrics, or the impromptu sing and dance -.-??? or dunno what lah), so to each individual's imagination. LOL!

06. food. to be honest, i think most of the food there...is not very safe looking. haha. there was a guy who tried to do pull a sales pitch on me, telling me his fried noodles are damn cheap, $3 only...mind you i get the same quality and quantity at econ minimart for only $1.80 or less leh??? hahaha! i wish you success. he does seem like the type who will eventually get himself in the lines of sales and marketing, cuz he dares. haha.

07. baato's cries of hunger. i do not understand his logic of screaming hunger but not eating anything when we finally reach the oasis. -.-|||

08. and baato's observation of toilets. he talked to an unfamiliar malay boy. when we asked if he knew him, he said no. he said he was asking the boy why the toilets so dirty and why they never clean them. wth!?!??! well, personally, i think the toilet is a haven for unseen neighbours--you know those neighbours who piew by you and sometimes molest you, sending you chills down your spine even though you cannot see them? the door seems ready to collapse anytime, the ceiling is damn high but the lighting is weak, the toilet seat is missing (maybe i imagined this), the automatic flush really looks more like an automatic sensor to trigger alarms, and there is a weird long stain on the mirror. and correct me if i'm wrong, the stain looks like rust. no to mention, the toilet smells pretty unique. it's not terrible or anything...just unique.

09. little kids dance uglily (??) to the music of band. the little bugs. lol

10. there were no shops in the foyer under the sun. it's a good thing, but it discounts 80% of the festive mood since everything is hiding inside.

11. i really think the food needs improvement. get someone's mum to cook curry, get another mum to fry beehoon, get another mum to cook fried rice, get bread, get some mini finger food to cook on the spot and you can do a $3 or $4 buffet liao lor. normally no one would eat a lot of these things, but the idea of cheap buffet is enough to attract lahh. btw, bacon is an easy food to cook with a portable stove simply because i tried it and it's edible.

12. be a cheat. cook mc's big breakfast. the so called not-so-secret secret to scrambled eggs is just to add milk. so get milk, cook egg, cook meat (all of which are extremely easy to cook...i believe) and you can rip people's money off. where are you going to get cheap meat? your problem lah.

there are just so many darn possibilities. why waste this once in a schooltime thing?? haha.

ok, i had more to say about the carnival, but i better slept my mouth shut. i'm sure you noticed by now, all the kok i talk are pretty theoretical in nature.... heeeeeeeeeeeheheeeeeheee!

ok, on to the rest of the day! we went to Tea Valley. yes, a large group we were. btw, tea valley has changed location to one lane down and increased most of their stuff by $0.50. those cheeky lil'... anyway, oh, it was a big group, yes we were. (talking like the King of Cosmos liao.)

huiqin ordered... the Fishball Tea (or something like that). it looks like this:

these were my thoughts when she ordered the Fishball Tea:
01. aren't fish balls salty?
02. and some more this is red?!
03. isn't it gonna taste saltily bloody???
04. that must taste like crap...

until someone told me "please lah, she's just being nonsense lah! where got such drink?? so obvious no such thing lah! you mean...you...FELL FOR IT???"

CONFESSION: Yes. I fell for it.

well, liz fell for it too?????? *tries to share the dumbassness*

hah, ladies and gentleboys. scroll up and seek the picture once more.
it's an obscene ghost drinking bubble tea man.

ok whatever--let's move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????/

we arrived at Aloha Tampines. hey, who was it who thought that there really was such a thing as Aloha Tampines and even asked me where it is? (and to answer your question, it's in Tampines).

the sacred grounds of Bonjour Tampines (identity crisis) was showing Yamada Taro. folks, you really should watch it--the dumb ass ness is good for the soul. but unfortunately, we were watching the last 2 epi, which technically speaking was the more slow and dragged out part to mark the end of the main plot. so, we had spasmodic (???) bird lying on the floor going on and on about his hunger, while ee and swj will literally dying. i apologise for any casualties caused that day.

you know, baato's laughter is damn contagious. show him anything funny and you SCORE!

we went out to eat. we went home. HAHAHA

okokok. so, we came back, and decided to connect laptop to tv cuz we wanted to watch hotel626. appreciate baato's explanation of both the title and the reason for such a strangely elaborate game for a commercial.
01. 6pm to 6am -- you can only play during this time.
02. it's a horror game created to advertise .... i forgot what the snack's name is.
03. it's supposed to be like a movie where you sit back and eat snacks.
cool hoh. i learnt this from baato. haha.

apparently the ad is unsuccessful cuz the name of the snack has escaped me. either that or my brain really isn't actually a brain. hahahaha.

so, it started out with 1 person tackling with the darned monitor cable. then it became 2. then it became 3. until eventually, it came to a point where 5 people were struggling to put the tv back on to the wall. LOL. until my father, the master who set it up, finally came in and put us out of our miseries.

btw, baato has somehow managed to make a friend out of my dad. oh, something about my dad. he has this weird tendency to talk weird "oh, no problem no problem" (to what, i also dunno). he really is damn bloody eager to make friends but he has an anti-personnel mouth that...what can i say, simply talks weird. LOL. despite the weirdness, baato still actually managed to make a new friend with him... i am impressed! .

back to subject. hotel 626 was quite a satisfying play, but a tad bit shot. then to make up for the short game, we started to youtube and literally surf the net together hahaha!

new activity: watch youtube on big screens. indian bollywood with rubbish subtitles are damn cool to watch in a group. and so are condoms having sex. LOL.

sigh. beginning to miss large groups with nonsense activities. i shall stop here. and shall talk about my trip to Genting real soon.

tell me two things...that
01 it is legal to talk about casinos on blog
02 that most people around me haven't actually entered a casino

point 02 is damn important because...litat then can be as amazed as i was when i stepped into the casino!! :D

ok, time to rest. i've been metar gear series non stop. i'm gonna die. ugh.

thoughts before and about going to Genting

while walking home from the bus stop just about an hour or two ago, two cats sprinted by and started screeching at each other.

erh. i just realised i cannot demo how they sounded because i can't get my laptop mic to work and well, wth. but basically, a white cat and black cat seemed to be quarreling, and a few of us kpoh humans stood around watching. the two cats seemed injured, backs arched, but didn't seem to be slapping each other soon. why? the white cat was going "wowowowowowow..." (???) it sounded like a baby with an auntie tone. wtf is that? i have no idea. but seriously, the cats friggin felt human leh!!! the white cat sounded like an auntie scolding the black cat, going, "what, i take your fish only wat?? see lah, now your back and my back both injured, worth it or not??? you took my rat last time i never say anything, huh?? shame on you!!" ... active imagination indeed. and why i say human. the white cat occasionally glanced at its sides, obviously aware of the eyes watching them. LOL. cute sia.

ok. now, let me make a quick list of what i wanna bring:
1. laptop + hard disk + cables
2. psp / ds / chargers
3. a couple of drawing material
4. fft guidebook
5. jay chou and utada hikaru lyrics
6. camera.

hmm. that should do it! :D

now, i'm hoping to miraculously pop up with a couple of stories during the trip (when i'm not distracted by games). haha. and i feel incredibly...bloated. and it's bad!!! urghhh. i don't enjoy eating as much as i did. nooo. i need work out. i need...KILL!

hmm. okok. time to pack. tml no time to pack le. LOL. title so long, post itself so short. sot. byeeee.

next meeting point -- lh chalet!! :D

rambles from an obsolete

i kinda forgot i have a bad mood blog. at the moment, i think i'm bordering more on the bad mood side. first, i don't think i can finish my quick play through of mgs2 once more before i go Genting tml night. second, i'm hungry but my mother's bathing, so my stomach acids are exacting vengeance within me now. third, i wanna bathe but i realise i need to wash hair (=more time wasted). fourth, i wanna bring my laptop to genting, so i'm panicking over what to put in my laptop before i zoom off. fifth, that means my luggage is gonna be heavy. and sixth...two nights ago i dreamt of wanting to leave a gathering because the feeling of being an extra was so bloody strong. hmm. i think the last point seems to fall not so in place with the previous bad mood points.

oh, speaking of dreams, last night i dreamt that swj ordered me to buy lunch and have it delivered to his house (what nerve...# he still owes me lunch). and when i ask which house (did i just say, which house?), he said his own house. and when i ask how come he got his own house, suddenly a bunch of band members (whom i really dunno who they are) said, "he's living with his girlfriend!!" and when i asked where, they proudly announced, "blk 254!!!" and swj's face turned back. LOL. then i dunno why i was watching clips on his psp and i saw a person doing body check on snake of mgs2. wtf?

k. rambles of an obsolete. y'know, i've been in a not so good mood since the syf. i couldn't figure out why. it took me about two days to finally figure out why.

it's just this feeling i can't shake, that finally, i'm like an obsolete piece of the past. it's this realisation that i've attended 5 syf sessions. that's about 9yrs you know -.-||| ok, not counting my pri school one lah. the first was in 2001, followed by 03, 05, 07 and finally 09. in 01, i still remember going home straight after syf, expecting to hear that we've got Gold. well, a friend did call to say that rather excitedly, but me being an arrogant ass at that time felt that it was pretty much within expectation. but in 03, it was the reverse. i was expecting a silver and i stayed back to hear the results. man i think i was drowning in my tears. then in 05, i listened to mn and friends (??? barney and friends?) play. the week i went to hear them play, i honestly felt they might not be ready for SYF and although i claimed i wasn't not really bothered, i was. hahaha. can you believe it? i wept right after their performance, out of relief. that was kinda anti-climax; so when the results came in, it wasn't that surprising.

07 came and i wonder why i went to watch anyway. then it felt like a whole new band; 3 guys from the whole band cried over the results--everyone else simply froze. if i'm not wrong, the 3 emo guys were all from flute. LOL.

then now 09 comes and i realise, i hadn't attended a single practice of the main band. i didn't even know what the choice and set pieces sounded like (or were, actually). in 07, i listened to them one week before syf, so more or less i knew how they were doing. but not this year.

in 01, i was determined to win. in 03, i felt it was a pretty special syf cuz there was hz, lh and mn with me, instead of xh and mc. it's damn different; i used to follow, but the pressure has changed and i had to lead. i think we gave ourselves some pep talk? i don't know, don't remember, but given the way we were, i bet we did. and after performance, we were worried sick cuz we knew we played silver quality.

in 05, i think i made some attempts to go back and 'help'. i don't think i really helped much. i could still play the flute, but i claimed that my ears were failing. still, i went back anyway. things were beginning to seem different at that time.

but by 07, i think things had changed so fast, i was beginning to wonder what i was going back for. until now i still don't quite understand why. i might just be back to meet the alumni, and am curious what our next generation is like, i don't know. and by then, i was so out of practice that i felt i wasn't qualified to say anything anymore.

and now it's 09. i feel like there's nothing i can contribute to hscband anymore.

after all, the old ideas are dead. haven't you noticed, that old people seem to talk about the past fondly, and seem to want to pass down their 'legacies', which may or may not be valid anymore? i don't know. has it really changed so much? i don't know.

i'm not sure about the rest, but the more i feel that i've been sticking too much to the past, the more i feel like an obsolete being.



all the same, i wish hscband the best. and i hope to see a concert soon.