Dog Conclusion

last night, hawaii wasn't doing so well...

she was lying around at the door...

i kinda noticed a few hours before midnight that her eyes were pretty wet, but i was thinking why she looked so lifeless at the door, so i went to take a look. i called my mother over, and then we concluded... she's actually crying cuz her daddy and mommy aren't here :(

my mother told me that ah niu and hawaii have been sitting in front of the door the whole of yesterday afternoon... so sad.

i shed a few tears for her :(

then came nighttime. i was quite worried about the two of them... but they seemed pretty settled down in the living room so i ignored them. (ah niu was actually all right cuz he's male...whatever that means)

until i heard the damned dogs bark in the middle of the night.

i woke up in a fright :O and my mother came out too -.-||| #*&($*&$% my mother chased me off to sleep and so i did.

moments later, the two asses scratched our bedroom door =__=### i had heard from my cousin that one of his dogs had the tendency to scratch doors and make you open doors for him/her and then go off waddling out...so. the legendary dog happens to be in our house. =__=###

and mind you, we suspect that hawaii hasn't bathed for 2 weeks!!! when my mother tried to catch her to bathe, she threatened to bite =__= (ah niu was pretty all right though...)

ok, so this smelly ass happily settled down on liz's bed (and left a lingering aura ...)... until i cannot take it and go out to go toilet. and saw a yellow puddle work of art in the place we fill our stomaches. arse bags. they must find it pretty appetizing to smell their crysanthemum tea.

then ok, i went back to sleep after they left the room.

i was drifting in and out of sleep...

"BARK BARK BARK"

#@($&(*#$&@!!!!!!!! i went out and so did my mother. she dragged hawaii all the way to the kitchen (with ah niu prancing happily behind) and we trapped them in the kitchen. =__=

i don't know what happened for the rest of the night, but i finally got my sleep...though i woke up at 9+ (way past my work time -.-)

then later on, according to my mother, ah niu was trying to bang hawaii and thus the noise. #$&*#@(*$&#*(@&*(#@$&%$ don't go popping a third party out ok. i then dun want a banjo in our house!!!

that aside. my mother successfully managed to bathe hawaii! apparently, hawaii is ok with warm water. looks like her mommy and daddy probably bathed her in cold water, resulting in her antagonistic reactions towards bathing -.O

anyway after last night's episode, before i fell asleep, i had 3 thoughts... the 3 must-haves in a dog:
#1: toilet-trained
#2: actually bathes
#3: sleeps at night
THOSE! are the blardy basics. -.-||| hahahaha. toilet trained my ass man this two. they think as long as it's the floor it's the place to pee. karni... at night don't sleep do what??? bumper car??

HMPH! after last night's episode, i don't feel so bad for them liao. if hawaii emo some more, i will tell her...

"You lan lan also must make friends with us hahh TOO BAD"

so yah. my eyes are burning with lack of sleep thanks to the two pantats. garrhhhgg. (some more this sat will be out the whole afternoon if not day. dunno what our house will become. must smell pretty good by the time we come back man.)

Guests in the House

i have 2 new guests staying at my house. it went like this.

mummy: ah niu and hawaii will be staying at our house from monday onwards for a week.

yesterday
me/liz: where are they?
mummy: think they coming next monday.

today during work
liz: hey. they came here today.
me: huh???
liz: and they are staying for 3 weeks.
me: huh??????

these are our guests 阿牛 and Hawaii..


the one in front is ah niu and the one behind is hawaii. i think the 3rd dog should be called either banjo, ukelele or guitar.

i don't know what breed of dogs they are!!! seems like they are about 50+yrs old (in dog terms yes)...?

according to my mother, they happily peed in every other room... marking territories!?!?!

i dunno why, but ah niu smirks in the way his owner does (namely, my 3rd uncle -.-|||) hahahaha.


hawaii and her lumpy boops! she had 7 puppies before... think they were all sold!?


hehhh. let you see hawaii's face!


ah niu. he thinks the kitchen is a sanctuary. -.- he's ignoring his dog food and eating the roast duck!!



and hawaii cuddling on my uncle's private property--the living room sofa. (i think by now those who visit my house would have noticed that my Sleeping Buddha elder would always be found posing in the living room. -.-||| refer to the pic of the hoola hoop man in my previous previous previous post.)

so, when liz and i got home...ah niu had the audacity to bark at us.

and this was what i said to it... "The guts of you!!! this is MAH house dammit!!"

for some reason, after washing our feet, the dogs finally calmed down and realised that we were the true habitants of the house. -.- pee in my room some more i'll turn you into 狗不理包子！！ (dog ignore buns -- found in Beijing)

hehe. they'll be here for 3 weeks. this is a good time to decide whether or not i'd turn out to really love dogs...or find their existence within my presence a complete mystery. woohoo!

Self Slap Cheers

"Don't mess with the best cuz the best don't mess, don't fool with the cool cuz the cool don't fool..."

my colleague didn't want us to play play with him. so he said, "the best don't mess ok..."
until my colleague just smacked him with, "i thought it's don't mess with the best...?"

he sat there, seriously thinking for a while before he started laughing.

as he tried to recall the cheer, i heard something like, "don't fool with the fool cuz the fool don't fool..."

...what the hell was that?

then what does the fool do???

stunning pun man.

Vulgar Hide-And-Seek

this is the aftermath post of last night.

i was playing shadow hearts 1. but you don't need to know shadow hearts 1 to know what i'm talking about.

you know the game hide-and-seek?? basically some smart ass thought it was a good idea to load the game hide-and-seek inside shadow hearts 1, some macabre RPG. then, there are four kids to find, and they are in each different room. and there are only 5 rooms, one of each is the starting point. you are to find the kids within 60secs. considering the size of the rooms and the locations of the kids (predictable to boot), it shouldn't be a prob...

CURSES!

my PS2 is about 6yrs old now, and so it's a little laggy.

some smart programmer decided that it was a good idea to let the timer run even when going through doors/screens!!! (if you've played RPGs, you will know that going through screens will make the screen fade to black and require some loading time for the next map)

just getting out of the first door took me 15secs. and it varies from anywhere between 6secs to 22secs.

i swear... this is the most vulgar hide-and-seek i've ever played. (bolded for dramatic purposes.)

i' played a full hour of this bo liao game!!!

now you're probably wondering... why don't i just give up? if it's so irritating and bo liao and you know, just unnecessary, why give myself high blood pressure for more than an hour over something like this???

that's the thing. it's necessary for a very important sidequest.
if it's a sidequest, is it important???

you bet.

i have to play this sick game to get the Emigre Document/Manuscript.

now this Emigre Document is darn important.
the Emigre Document is one of the 3 magic books from the Vatican, the other 2 books namely Pulse Tract and the Codex of Lurie. they were stolen by Cardinal Albert Simon, a man who summoned God to cleanse our rotten putried Earth!!! full of elitists like Rasputin, Nicholai and Banana!!! (actually i forgot who's the last bad guy) the Emigre Document can revive the DEAD!!! (though the NPCs have only managed to revive monsters)

that's how important it is!!!

and the fate of the world lies in the hands of a stupid laggy uncouth game of hide-and-seek!!!

this is basically the vulgarity involved
"LJ!!!"
"KANIN..."
"wAH LAOOOO!! F*CKKKKK"
"get outta my #*(&49*#@&$ way and just let me get the fracked up Emigre Document!!!"

i was like a crazed possessed frenzied demon, trying to tear the kids apart and hurling abuse at the timer...

i was in such despair, that i considered dropping by the game shop and begging the uncle to just let me borrow the new ps2 systems for 10mins...

i was overwhelmed... "will i...be defeated by some silly nostalgic game of 60sec f*cked up hide-and-seek?" i was so sad i went to talk to the lady standing around the starting point, even though i knew what she'd say... "I decided to take care of the kids cuz i love kids" or something like that. but no. she said,

"I'm so happy you came to find me!" (or...something like that.)

my first thought: "are you mad?"

then i realised: one of the random hide locations is in the starting room!!! (incidentally, another room would sometimes have no kids at all and i couldn't understand where the kid was......)

that was after about 1hr+ of hide-and-seek.

it was like, renewed hope.

i can save bloody 10secs with this new knowledge!!!

i loaded, loaded and re-loaded for the kid to appear in the room. yes, she's there! i made mad dashes to every other rooms... i dared not look at the time... and i ran back to starting point, molesting the behind of the woman who loves kids (basically the kid is hiding behind her if you haven't realised that yet)... and talked to the snobbish idiot who's blocking my path to a super duper important book (looks the Vatican would have to go through the same horrors as me to retrieve their stolen treasure...)...

i still had 6 secs left!!!

WHOOPEEE!!!!!

i'd never quite expected myself to be the type to explode with joy at something stupid like getting 50% off the shops in games or even winning a game of hide-and-seek, but i guess i am. =_= never mind i screamed in joy. i threw my fists around like i just scored a goal or something. sigh.

embarrassment aside.

I BEAT THAT F*CKED UP EXCUSE FOR A HIDE-AND_SEEK GAME HAHHHH

this is something i've been thinking to update about for the entire day. imagine the sheer joy in getting that piece of bone like book (the Emigre Document is basically a retarded book in the shape of a skull).

not even laggy ps2s or scratched discs or smart ass programmers can defeat my will to beat the damned game. i am amazed by my diligence in games...and only games. #$&(#@&%#%

oh, oh.. yayaya...

i forgot to mention. Rolly Polly is my eldest uncle's granddaughter -.-||| and her name is yi xuan. the hyperactive kid is actually called ruo xuan. and my neighbour has a pair of kids called Xuan Xuan and Xuan Yi. omg.

it's been months and months and months since lee hoon and i planned to meet up. will we finally succeed tml??? only God knows...

i have a sudden craving to write story!!! but my desire to play game took over... and i played almost 2hrs trying to get discounts in a game...only to find better stuff in a godforsaken dungeon...for freeee. karnine...

i am so darn sleepy... ugheddd...

oh??? perfect cut got part 2!!! i wanna watch : D

... i am not too sure what to post about??? except that i am reaalllyyyy sleepy??? ...... ... bye bye... zz..

Rolly Polly, my cousin

wai wai wai! can't wait to show you a video of one of my youngest cousins. meantime, i shall upload photos of little Rolly Polly!

hehe. i kinda knew she was my cousin. but i swear i felt like i've never seen her before. cuz if i did, i'd have noticed this round thing!!





my first encounter of rolly polly. anyway, that was taken with my phone album. crappy lah hehehe. that was new year day 1.

now day 2.


her sisters! i see a gamer future in my cousins. (my 40yr old cousin is still a gamer btw. and these two? one GBA one DS. COOL MAN!)


ROLLYYYY! you know what? she looks as cuddly and lazy as my eldest uncle. -.-|||


her roundish back.


hehehe


(my father side aunt on the left)
ok. i must talk about this.

Rolly Polly is quite the weirdo. she laughs for no reason and she certainly has a flair for the dramatic. she has no idea that she is the center of attention. and well, she was running in and out, then laughing. -.-??? then suddenly she started to point like Phoenix Wright and going "Chaodiadshaooa!!!" what the hell did she watch????


continued drama


do you see this cotton candy? it's my grandma, the Sole Survivor. (all my other grandparents flew off before i touched ground. sneaky biggy ones.)


her young looking mother ;D


ROLLY POLLY!!!



ok, halftime. fan sevice:


my uncle doing the hoolas in the middle of a guest visit during CNY day 2.


last photo!

arghhh ultimate lazinesss...

here's another cousin i didn't know existed. she was damn tiring.


hyperactive man. she tossed all my pau cushions into the heavens. ugh. my room became the battleground for 4 insane kids.

ok!!! time to upload video!!!



:DDDD too bad i didn't catch her drama in action. LOL.
(This is basically her routine that day. she goes in and out and in and out and repeats the damned cycle. LOL.)
if you bother to hear the audio, you will hear...
1. Rolly Polly's babish outbursts
2. my occasional laughter
3. my grandma speaking cantonese to no one in particular
sigh. i took a look at the video 2 more times. i realise i tossed my mini bolster at her (no wonder i was laughing.) and...she looks like she's walking on a perpetual earthquake. dohhh.

one last amazing thing about her. every time she walks past, i'd rub her tummy. she actually has no reaction. but i just make a face and she bounces off the floor laughing. like, what the hell?? (...am i that ignorable)

i imagine we will get along fairly well when she grows up. ;)

quiet surprise: for the love of biology

mwahahaha. i bet no one's reading my blog by now. so i shall secretly post.

the reason why i was suddenly inspired to write...was once again, pretty biological in nature.

have you ever noticed that girls seem to like to tell their female counterparts that their fellow Big Aunt has come to pay their timely monthly visit? and sometimes they even give explicit accounts of how they are cramping and spas-ing up, and to what degree that pain is? sometime they even tell you.... "I'M POURING A RAIN!!!" (ok, i'll admit it. i've had no one telling me that before yet.)

so, just a random thought, i was thinking up some new descriptions for this amazing natural phenomenon called... Mensa. (btw that's the TP Design School canteen's name.)

Description
#1: Massacre
#2: Blood Rain
#3: Blood Fest
#4: Puke Blood Fest
#5: Massive Blood Pour
#6: Bloody Hell
#7: Bloody Affair
#8: Bloody Roar

and my mother's classic description, which i still feel is pretty disgusting... "Jam on Bread."

seriously?
imagine Kotex showing you a bread and spreading jam all over and saying, "That's how strong your friend here is--it even makes your 'bread' look appetizing!'

and spinning off from there, i thought of CNY. red is a lucky colour. imagine a girl going to toilet and screaming,

"I STRUCK LOTTERY!!!"

so damn lucky!!!

yah.

that aside and related still, to that, be it that you are a girl or boy, have you ever had this fight:
Mensa versus NS

Man wish never to have to NS
Girls wish never to have to eat at Mensa

(don't get me wrong. Mensa offers decent food and a decent second floor.)

sigh, sigh, sigh. how can we not sigh in awe in the powers of nature???

hehe. next up--if i find photos of my cute cousin, i shall uploadz it. soon. like, tml? later? nah, not later. i just borrowed Shadow Hearts from my friend and i'm going to chiong sa it. that's the real reason i have not posted for two weeks. haaahaha.

weekly ramblings. ahhh.

grrrr. during the holidays, i was so dang free i could post everyday. now i post every week. it only proves one thing--my gaming hours must NOT be missed!!! hahaha.

ok, what nowz. hmm. recently i went to cash studios and i went to watch red cliff 2. (actually, red cliff 2 was just hours ago.)

not too sure what to talk about (cuz i just killed myself playing mgs1-- yesss the ancient ps1 game), so i'll talk about the most obvious stuff.

RED CLIFF 2! i cried myself a river (no lah, not so serious) at 2 parts... when ze girl ask the guy he should go home and when they finally met again. (i am censoring so that it doesn't spoil anything...though i kinda think most people should already have watched it hahahaha.) ohhhh! so sad!!! arghhh! so sadddd.

otherwise, hahaha. i think zhou yu and zhu gege (???) stand too close when they talk. whenever shots like this occur, i feel like smashing either of their heads so they end up kissing. don't you think that's the perfect start of a shoujo (*hint hint gay*) manga??? (btw manga = comics)

ahhhh ze coolness. but i kinda got lost watching it due to overwhelming bombings and stuff. grrr. a lot of places in the movies didn't allow time for a rest or something. (i must too used to the pacings of games...)

that aside, i was playing mgs1 the last few nights. what can i say. the first time i played mgs1 was the japanese version, and i played the part till i had to fight psycho mantis. thus when i played the english version, it was so much faster. well, i'm trying to clear the game without getting caught once, so i save in practically every map i travel to and kill myself whenever i get discovered... hahahahaha. (i can't believe i've wasted up to 10 stun grenades just to get past wolf dogs. i'm infinitely paranoid.)

then came the psycho mantis part. it's kinda like a game performance appraisal part i guess?? hahaha i don't remember what exactly he said but it went something like this:

"I'm the most powerful psychic of telepathy and psychokinesis! Let me read into your past. Hmmm... Your memory is clean. (I only had 2 save files when I fought him) You often saved. You are the type to kick the tyres before you leave the car. You are a very prudent person. You are either very cautious...or a coward. Still don't believe me? Put you controller flat on the ground. Like this. Good! Now, I will show you my psychic powers...by moving your controller by willpower alone! Hah! Hahh! Hahhh! Demonstration is over!"

i burst out laughing during the entire time -.-||| first off, i save in every other map. i never got caught (because i commit suicide the moment i get spotted...yes, even by stupid wolf dogs.). and i do frequently check my inventory to make sure that i have no lack of items. ahhh. he's right to say i'm cowardly though... erh. the only thing that doesn't seem to fit, at least my real life, is the part about kicking tyres before leaving. it seems i leave everything in a massive mess and come back only to realise i haven't quite kicked the tyres huh.

but the part about controller moving??? GHAHHH! hahahahaha. my God. Hideo Kojima's lameness sure has a solid history to it... .. .

ok. now, another thing. i got ze Chibitalia fan from my friend. i will show you guys next time. :D it's very cute. here's the link to the online scanlation! it's a manga-fied series of shot comic about the history of countries. it's an easy way to pick up some history i guess. it's called Axis Power Hetalia. Hetalia means useless Italy. and erh... well... he's quite cute, but hmm i guess if i were Germany i'd have shot his balls on every "pasta" he blurts out. LOL.

welcome to Hetalia!
if you search Youtube, you will find a 5min vid that pretty much sums up the personality of the countries...and their schizophrenic style of speech. hahahaha.

for some reason Italy and Germany are pretty much the central characters. i'll never think of pasta the same way ever again.

i vow to conquer mgs1 soon. then i'll think about what to conquer next. i'm on the last case (i think) of ace attorney trials and tribulations... after which would be part 4, Apollo Justice! to be honest, i kinda wish they'd add some filler games for Phoenix Wright (whom incidentally has a japanese name of Naruhodo Ryuichi. i only found out after looking through the art book. oh my God.)... :(

Capcom is really good at designing characters man. :O!!!

and btw, it's through eating Prosperity Burger that i realise i kinda like to eat onions. only that they leave a bad smell in my mouth. :x anddd. do not sleep after you eat (i think that's common sense). i woke up for the movie only to burp onion flavoured smells and to eat curry cheese beef pepper lunch and eat nachos later on. ugh. so er xin. no wonder i feel like i crap 800g-1kg worth of crap everyday. OH NO!!! i just disclosed my personal secret!!!

so, it's 3am--i really should just retire and sleep. yahooooo!

ugh!!! how??? never organise a mahjong new year for flutes!!! i wonder if mn's house is available. LOL.

February 1st Post!

ahah!!! i catches the computer on!

OH! it is now officially february. what a lovely month. february is indeed a lovely month! ahhh the cosmos speaks to me.

now, what the hell is wrong with my firefox~ when i typed, the screen went big and small and minimized~ -.- i wonder if it has anything to do with my tablet--i was rubbing my palm against it.

unrelated. but. i was at the toilet. i pulled my shirt up...and my tummy bounced downwards.

WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's a horror movie!!!!

k, back to subject.

on a strange saturday evening, i went to 201 McDonald and saw two shadows within--mn and a taiwanese girl. i looked. and stared.

who is that?

(btw, it was huiqin--she's got a new hair cut, which i think people should have seen by now, and while i almost could not recognise her, it seems to...well, fit her cartoon image pretty well. : D (her best expression seems to be... - 3- )

then the million dollar question. what we meeting up for?? mahjong or red cliff one?? that question loomed in my head for days, but i didn't bother to clarify. hahhh. so, we went to have ourselves kway chup, a shortcut to reunion dinner. i do not understand why hq sucks the blood out of kway chup (gravy) but leaves the white ghosts (kway) around--a full bowl even. and her logic was... "white is good! black is evil!" (and she sucked up all the black parts of the food)

then!!! we came across a bubble tea shop that sold things like First Love, Fantasy Island (is it?), Love At First Sight, Purple Fantasy, yada yada. those are names of drinks??? whacky man. i should open a shop with drinks like, "Hold It! Objection! Take That!" for the AA (ace attorney) theme, while i should name drinks like "Hado Ken! Kamehameha! Big Bang Attack! Pantat Open Flower!"

so like, we were ridiculously making fun of the names in front of the shop, but bought a total of 4 drinks from the shop. it's like slapping a person and giving lollipop next. do you see the earthly connection? (i remember laughing insanely as i described my new method of baking cookies. i think the other customers buying drinks were pretty disturbed by a lone laugher with a bunch of sinister looking bodyguards.)

then we headed to mah house for mahjong. ahhhah! this is the cool part. we think we are new age people who can handle multitask like the gurus. one round of mahjong took an abnormally long time while mn spent a great deal of time asking me, "what's going on in the show??" and lh saying, "i don't know china history" and hq stoning and me asking liz, "is litat litat right??" and liz telling me, "how the heck i know?" so, in short, we were all new age half asses.

ahhhah! this is another cool part. for some reason, lh has a fixation on calefares (however you spell it). and because of that, Red Cliff turned out to be one of the funniest shows to start the year off. LOL. i don't know how to describe. but if you ever get the chance to watch Red Cliff one again, pay extra attention to background people. there are sadistic people who are pointing at the falling horse and giggling gleefully while their fellow soldiers are stabbing themselves silly around them, and other scenes with people laughing gleefully with people dying everywhere. we also discovered that lh's passion is to be a calefare.

i'd die a happy alien if the whole flute section took part in a war film as calefares and were playing merry go round in the background while going unnoticed by the director because it's too damn chaotic. then when you pause the dvd, you see lh grand slamming mn to the ground. (???)

so, that pretty marked the wu liao gathering. LOL. we should get together and watch Red Cliff 2 on dvd some other time. i'll bet the same calefares were damn excited at the prospect of possibly being caught on the dvd for that split second when they laughed at stabbing each other.

yahhhhh! i shall go eat dinner. may or may not update later. WOOOHOOOOKOOKOO!