ehow

...I slept at 2am for an extremely lame reason of seeing my pixels in different fashion, and laughing at randoms in a pixel world.

...

Anyway, that aside...some stuff in life got me wondering the widely viewed or discussed opinions and definitions of certain stuff, such as ego and selfishness (which I never got anything beyond the whole debate between selfishness and self-interest).

Then I came upon this site.

The first article I read was rather simple and well written.

But after I started to jump links and surf the site... Mannn. How the hell do they QC their articles??? I'm usually not very picky with language, especially in a conversational setting. I wouldn't jump at or be prejudiced against international gamers who can't grasp the English language very well. But when I read supposedly professional articles...I cannot stand it when language is thrown out of the window completely.

Wtf is with the use of sms language and a string of typos?? 'These peopel are not tat intrsted in ur lif." <-- ...??!!????!?!??!!??? (not exact and just an example, but I found something like that amongst some articles)

I saw an article called, "How to take a bath." I thought it was relevant to dirt bugs like me, since I sometimes stay up too friggin' late that I end up bringing all my dirt bags with me to bed, only to bathe the next morning.

Wow.

It was a full length essay telling you how to take a long bath. It had 10 pointers, almost as long as paragraphs. Let me attempt writing it in my own words...

1. Play handphone music.
2. Pour water, starting from warm temperature.
3. Add bath spices.
4. Take off clothes and lie dead in the bath tub while the water from tap drool all over you. Turn up the temperature and start boiling yourself without actually boiling. Then top up your bath tub.
5. Pamper each body part like separate entities. Coo to them like hoaxing little children. Make each of your body part feel super loved. Remember, this is called pampering, not cleaning for the sake of cleaning.
6. Boil some more.
7. Use body wash and conditioner together. Apparently, it works for leg and armpit hair too, so it will make your weeding activity so much smoother. Then remember to spot check for 'scratchiness'.
8. Do whatever you like; now is free and easy time.
9. Powerfully, now you begin to wash your face and hair after drowning yourself so damn long. Then get out, and pat yourself dry. Spray all sorts of things that make you smell good. (P.S: It's nice to spray behind neck and between your neh neh, a.k.a long kang.) Then put whatever face nurturing thing you need to.
10. Wear your clothes and get on with it.
Tips and warnings:
- Best times are when you are alone or got lover in next room.
- Remember to install SECOM or Cisco Security Systems. Build some ninja traps while you're at it. It will be bad if someone steps in and not only sees you naked, but you naked AND playing with your rubber ducky.
- I dunno what the last tip means, but I interpret it as, if your hands and legs are growing webs like frogs, get the hell out of the bath tub of doom.

They forgot to add point 11: Keep your water to flush the toilet bowl for the next two or three days, depending on how prudent you are.

Hmmm. I must admit...if I never read the original article, I wouldn't know what the hell I was writing either.

I'm not too fond of articles with corny humor. Not too witty. And worse if they sound like your common auntie trying to give out advice. It reminds me of this particular article I read another day, called "How to stop being jealous" or something like that. Wah lao. It sounded like some cult leader giving you scary imageries:

"You see someone better than you. Suddenly, you feel angry. Yes, you feel hatred. You hate how the person is better than you. You feel unfair. But you don't know why. Yes, you are consumed by this hatred, so you start comparing. You compare with someone worse than you. Suddenly, you feel better. You lavish in the joy that someone is worse than you. But it does not last long. What is the point? There is always someone better than you. Then the vicious cycle begins. You become hateful again. And you are swallowed by this misery, jealousy and depression..."

^ I have no idea wtf s/he's talking about. My envy issues have never gotten so cult-like, to be honest. I wonder he didn't add the following:

"Your hatred is so powerful, it's burning! YES!! Your ass is on fire!!! But you can't put it out! It must be the methane that you're releasing! Oh Lord!! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS SO MUCH! This hatred, this jealousy, it's setting my xxxyyyzzz on fire!!! It's burning so bad, I'd develop cancer eating my xxxyyyzzz!!!!! ZZZ OOHH MY MAMA MY ASS IS GONE"

Something to that effect.

And yeah, the writer doesn't have a good grasp of English... Reminds me slightly of Chinese writers learning English or some European country English, not sure which.

Ohhh hey, in case you're wondering if I have something against the writer... The writer's articles are decent though. Just that the content and advice mostly sounded like some Buddha zen thing masked in Western context... Felt very weird. I sometimes (or too many times) feel the need to poke fun at things.

I was about to digress, but I shall end here to keep it relevant to "ehow". It looks like a 'professional' site all right...but that's about it. Hahaha.