Small Talk Pt. 2

Date: 6-12-2010

Today, one of my colleagues was on compassionate leave. So, two of my other colleagues decided to da bao and finish their work so they can attend the wake, leaving Liz and I to go make merry ourselves.

We reached canteen, and saw another colleague. He was with a girl I didn’t recognise, so I thought we were gonna be on our own, until Liz said we’re joining them, and that anyway she knows the girl. Sooo we joined them.

…

…

Once again, I found my small talk ability challenged.

At many points, I kept wondering why the girl was laughing to herself after making a point. The thing that was disturbing was not that she was laughing, but that I was still trying to figure out what the point was while she laughed herself silly.

Example…

Girl: Sometimes I’m left in the office with only two colleagues, and they quarrel, so I feel nervous! *laughs*
Liz: What do they quarrel about?
Girl: Oh, it’s about phone calls. You know we have two phones… *goes the extra length to explain export import phone call abcdefg I started to think I’m gonna blog this* And so colleague A received a call, asking for B. So A transferred the call to B, who immediately scolded, “Why you send to me??” And A responded, “But he’s looking for you wat!” *laughs*

…

Girl: Then when no one is around, my colleague would open the window and say just smoke anywhere you want! *laughs* Some more he doesn’t stand at the window there and smoke; he sits at his desk and smokes! *laughs* Speaking of which, the air con in our office like so weak. Cuz my colleague sit directly under it and says it’s cold, so he raised the temperature. *laughs* So the smell of smoke doesn’t stay. I don’t feel the air con at all. But I won’t perspire so I don’t really mind. *laughs*

…

I…

…felt extremely guilty for not laughing along because until now, I’m still trying to find what the funny parts are.

The only one part that I felt was interesting was when she showed us the picture of what she thought was a proper looking lady, and then told us that the woman was not what she seemed. She smokes, and that’s normal. But she spewed things like knn ccb and all that freely like water, and, something I thought was damn interesting, was that after hanging up a call, she’d add a very casual “kannina.”

I gauged myself to be normal when I noticed how Liz and the other guy colleague looked frozen in a template smile while I buried myself in my consumption of Sesame Chicken Rice.

Hmmmmm. Now. Maybe my version of small talk sounds like this:

“You know, I have a colleague behind me who keeps waving his hand in front of me to disturb me. *laughs* He says Liz and I are his sources of entertainment. *laughs* He says the way I laugh needs improvement. *laughs*”

Freak man, I couldn’t continue writing—freaked myself out midway! Hahahaha!

The woman with the bloated stomach in the toilet also had has Small Talk Mastery as a passive skill man. Sometimes when I think about small talk, I would remember this one instance. We all, including the managers, wanted to order eat away from I think McDonalds. Then this bloated woman came along, and, I dunno how, started talking about I think Carl Juniors’ burgers. This was her description:

“Their burger hor, was really very big. It was *gestures* THIS big. It’s really super big. It’s really very big. I ordered it, and it looked *gestures again* this, this, this big. It’s really very big lor. I almost didn’t know how to eat cuz it was *gestures one last time* damn big.”

Yup. So I see it’s the size of your bum. Anything else to add? Perhaps the meat is really big to fit in that really big two slices of bread and the leaf can be used as an umbrella?

Actually, is this really small talk??? (Or is it big talk??!!)

If I come across more of such small talk, I will let you know if I’m the sane one or them.