Pondering of the Year

And so, Lunar New Year is over. My days of typing in lowercase have also ended as now I uppercase the first alphabet of the first word of each sentence. Why? I also don't know.

As I now 'autopath' to Suzerix the Adalwolf Elder, I alt+tab and surf the internet.

It led me to think about my life this year!

As you probably already know, I'm still working as a temp staff at the same place, for the past 1yr and 3mths, soon to be 4. Why haven't I switched to permanent? Heehee. Recently, a friend has been recommending a few jobs to me, and I took up none of them. The most recent one is one at Ubi area, and it seems okay--until I realize they urgently need a designer. I have too many things on hand at my work that no one else really knows how to handle, and I don't think I can hand over all of them within a matter of a week. And...next month I'm going on a two week holiday, so imagine.

"Hi! I am xxx and I would like to apply for a position that you urgently need filled, but by the way I need about two weeks to hand over my stuff to new workers at my current workplace, and then after two weeks at your place, I'm going overseas for two weeks! Yoroshiku onegai shimasu omedetou hajimemashite."

So...so unbecoming.

So I decided to let this chance slip too.

Oddly, it doesn't actually bother me as much as last year anymore.

And I find that...surprising! Because I'm earning so little I might as well shave my head and become a nun.

I guess I must've lived in a drama filled life a bit too much. Hmm, not exactly dramatic, but I'd say it's a bit too eventful in the negative aspects. So when I had to get a job, a 9 to 5 one, I was very horrified--which was the main reason I refused to convert to a permanent position.

I used to want to doze off at my job when I've done everything I needed to do and have nothing to do. But ever since I found out how to bypass the security that stops me from surfing game forums and stuff like that, it has become...less boring! And it's actually becoming pleasantly peaceful to go to work, complete all my work, not need to answer to my boss for being late, surf game sites and write stories. And after all this, I go home...and begin my nightlife as an archer/a cleric/a bm/a veno. It's archer at the moment.

But I still intend to change job... :D

Maybe in a while's more time. To be honest it's gotten kind of comfortable...

...Still, my uncle's job is still my ultimate dream job--working at home and watching TV 24/7, except I'd be gaming. =DDD

THE FIRST POST OF 2010!!! OMG!!!

Wow I seriously forgot I have a blog leh!!! YAY!!!

Sadly, the reason I recalled this blog, is cuz I wanted to paste the song lyrics to Byul by Kim Ah Joong. The song is from 200 Pounds Beauty... Sad. And I wanted to paste it cuz all the stupid lyrics site copy and paste one another's mistakes, and I finally found the full one. YAY.

Since by popular demand (huh?), I shall...post one post I've been thinking of posting since a few days ago.

I met this mynah.

It was no ordinary mynah. Is this how you spell mynah? The black bird with yellow beak, all over the place? Yeah...

It was damn. CUTE!

Imagine!! We were coming home from dinner behind my house near 7-11, and suddenly...something *attacked* my father and landed on his head. My father swept it off... It was...yes, the mynah.

It stared at my dad. My dad stared at it.

We decided it was just a young bird and walked off...

...It started following us. 8O!!!

Mind you, it was WALKING! Like a speedygonzalles!!! (however you spell it)

So we were wondering if it was stalking us, thus we stopped walking.

IT STOPPED TOO OMG!!!

It randomly switched 'follow targets' between my sis my dad and me... WOWWW SO CUTE!

My dad stepped on the ground, and it hopped. OuO He stepped one more time and it hopped again... AIYAHHH SO KE AI

But...it saw some strangers at the void deck, and decided not to follow us anymore... Y__Y and flew off to find new people to kachiao.

AIYAHHH IF ONLY I BROUGHT IT HOMEEE Then I can brag that I found a bird that actually has a brain!! A mischievous one at that!!!

Ok. That's all I've been dying to say. Now back to recording lyrics.




From: http://www.scribd.com/doc/6988639/Byul-by-Kim-Ah-Lyrics

Param gyeori jangel hen tel go
Ne ki man han jaken na eh pan wi ru
Aremdapge byulbijdereun
kadegje woju neyo

Saelsu op shima nempyolteru
Chijuinuna rul oru manjina
Ne mamsoke katuptanun
Nun multakashu neyo

Malhi apahajima nalkon anenjae
Dadegyour jumyour
jaljara wi ru hae ju ne yo

Kyourdjimothan mankem
Himegyour wo apawado
Nenmeli apelgaryourwado
Gaji mothan ne sarang apedo na uselraeyo
Jamshi ra do kyeote
Haengboghaeton giyog
Geseme gan jig halkeyo
Du nene su nyohajin jor byudel chorom
Yong~won~hi

Kumel ku tet da ga o neyo
Yunanhi topakenna ye pyol hana
Nun pu shi ge ban jagi myour or ke waeru ne ryour wo

Ja ku sel pohajima
Son kog jap en che nal
man jyour ju myour
Ta sehi nal kamssajuneyo

Kyourdjimothan mankem
Himegyour wo apawado
Nenmeli apelgaryourwado
Gaji mothan ne sarang apedo na uselraeyo
Jamshi ra do kyeote
Haengboghaeton giyog elrel
Gasem soge ganjig halkeyo
byuldel charom
Ohhh~

Na yo nel man en an ul your yu
Nun muli ga teg cha wa do
Jogi
Jo byul tel chorom
Naesel reyo~

Oh~ Oh~ (?!)

Hengbog haeton giyog modu
Gaseme ganjig halkeyo

Du nene su nyohajin jor
byudel charom
Yong~won~hi

^ I long time never watch liao. wtf or who tf is Yong~won~hi?

pasting link to lyrics for fun: http://onigirioriginals.blogspot.com/2009/08/paranoid-doll-gakupo.html

Hehe. Anticipate my next post...NEXT MONTH *gets slapped*

My Christmas Eve

I'm such a suck ass blogger. I've not blogged for so damn long!!!

Somehow, today, I have found something that motivated me to blog.

My sis (now known as Ring instead of liz), her friend and I went to watch Sherlock Holmes. is that how you spell it? anyway, in summary:

1. I don't know what the hell Holmes is talking about most of the time but I think he's damn smart! (That or I'm damn stupid - .-)
2. I feel that the ending is one of the more original ones...maybe I just haven't seen a lot of movies lately. Most endings lead up in a weird and predictable way...the way this one ended felt somewhat scary but satisfying though.
3. I am so digging the friendship between Holmes and erh...is Watson how you spell it? anyway, wow. Ring's friend thinks Holmes is gay, but I think it's perfectly normal and in fact, quite nice to have friendships like that... aghhh so digging it. It's a show more than tell kind of thing. This thought crossed my mind, "wow. I'd be so happy to be Watson if I had a friend like Holmes!" then i realise that the relationship at home is such that I am more like holmes (troublemaker) and ring is watson (trouble cleaner). end of story
4. nice credits! arty farty.

i will go get the DVD when it's out! and i said the same thing for dark knight but i never bought it (difference is, i never watched dark knight). gah parts of sherlock holmes felt somewhat scarily violent though (i have no jingle bells when it comes to violent scenes sometimes). im not too sure if this is correct but it seems they're trying to show that one of the reasons holmes is so damn smart is cuz he knows the visualisation technique? y'know, about visualising and rehearsing your next move in your mind so it executes the same way...

anyway, that aside, ring's friend (whom i shall dub Weirdo) was talking about the shame of the century. he said he went to a clinic (raffles medical if i'm correct) to do his pre employment health tests, of which one included the HIV test. when the receptionist saw it, she said damn loudly, "We don't do HIV tests at the moment!" and the rest of the patients gave him the death glare. HAHAHAHHA omg. he felt like dying. and then he started to tell us what kind of things he'd have said if not for the shock and shame he felt hahahaaaa. to be honest though, it's kinda...hard to associate him with HIV for some reasons i can't explain. ah well.

and one more joy/terror for the record. my uncles went on a holiday to thailand, and my third uncle left his dog's...son at my house. yeah. so now the 3 month old terrorist is with us. delightfully he's cute, 3 mths old and looks a lot like a..polar bear. but there are just two things that make me want to bathe his ass in a tub of water.

1. He has a terrible fear of heights. when i place him on a chair he whimpers. and like your majesty her highness (aka his mom), he summons you via barking. he's really quiet. but the only time he makes noise is he comes up to the living room from the kitchen, and has problems going back to the kitchen cuz the kitchen is like what, 4cm lower than the living room?????? sigh. imagine...i'm doing my daily hunting of bosses when i suddenly hear a dog summoning me. wtfff. sigh i spent 15mins trying to force teach him to walk down the unstable slipper slope i made there and he was giving me the tantrums. he made it down anyway. and sulked in front of the toilet after that. zzz loser.
2. he thinks my room is the only toilet in the whole house. ZZ. he peed in the living room, my uncle's room, my mom's room and finally ours. and it seems that it is officially his toilet. today alone, he came in twice, both at night. GAH. i'd love it very much...if he'd at least be a little like his mom. surprisingly, despite being a princess, his mom actually requests the door be open so she can use the newspaper in the living room as her peeing platform. duddeeee.

well, the last point isnt very important, and im not too sure what he thinks about me. oh btw, this dog is called Yaya. my mom confused it with yao yao. and i confused him with a girl. anyway, he's curbed his habit of chewing on my toes, and that's good. but now, at 2am while i'm blogging, i hesitate going to the toilet cuz he sleeps in the kitchen. last night i went to the toilet and he woke up. i wanted to go back to sleep but he smacked straight down on my foot and wanted me to play with it, so i kinda started tickling it (he seems to like it...that or he's masochistic? or bian tai? sigh. dogs and their quirks). then i had to get up... 1.30am in the morning and i have work in the morning. zzz. so i dumped him at the kitchen and hoped he didn't follow.. he didn't, but he gave me this look that seemed so puzzled... GAHHH. zz.

i do notice that he follows my mom first, followed by me, and finally ring (priority in this order). not too sure. but im stating this again. im never going to breed a dog. first, if it dies i'd be so sad. second, i cant play my online game in peace. third, i'd die catching dog fleas. zz.

i had more to talk about, but im tired and i can't remember.

so here you go!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :DDDD

blog deleted?

today i clicked on link VROOM~!

it doesnt exist.

i know i'm quite a plastic person when it comes to expression. most people dont even know if im sincere. because my face and my expression is just plain plastic. enough said. and i well know i've blurted so many wrong things in your presence even though i don't even mean what i say. i feel it, you know.

still.

wherever you are, whatever you are doing, i hope you're doing fine.

oops

i forgot what it is i wanted to blog about. i just remembered.

i'm literally older now, but i don't feel that anything has changed. i'm still pretty much the same, with the same old fears. yes, bugs, begone from the page of history if you will.

it's just, one day, i realise, i care about the same few people even though i don't want to talk to them. does that make any sense? i don't hate them, don't dislike them, do feel somewhat positive, but don't want to talk to them. there's some strange fear that's stuck in between.

and then there's that strange constipated feeling that stops me from deciding whether to be myself or be someone else. sometimes i act my way into feeling. most of the time i feel my way into acting. but because of the former, i start wondering, am i really whom i thought i knew? the people i didn't care and acted like i care, i started to really care. and that's something i fear. is it fake or is it real. i can't tell.

it's just, today, while texting a friend, i suddenly felt that same feeling some many years ago, the same feeling that i'm prepared to deal with it, should any friend come tell me, "get the fck out of my life." it had completely nothing to do with what i was texting. i feel like i'm always waiting for that moment, so everyday i prepare myself for it. why do i do that? i don't really know.

i can't stop bugging people, y'know, and that disturbs myself the most. i don't have anything to say but i just disturb. thank God that i have a sis for me to bug? :D||| i don't know why. i just feel happy doing that. but sometimes, right after, i feel sad. i don't know if i've been a nuisance.

i think i'm just tired. and my job situation is finally giving me a headache. my job is almost done. i can leave my job and handover pretty smoothly. and i know i made it happen; i know where my credit is due. despite that...i don't know where i'm going. and i think it's cuz of this comfort zone. mom wants me to convert to permanent. my colleagues think it makes things easier. but i know im going to just spend days there multitasking, doing the same thing everyday while taking the extra time off writing stories. which is no good. so another handful of people are asking me, why havent i left my job? i wish i knew.

i guess maybe, at the moment, i dont have the energy to make decisions.

...i'll decide once i really finish and clean up everything at my job. still some eyesore left behind. i'm seeing the finishing line. maybe i'll take a break, for a month or two. then i'll move on. i hope i get another weird job next year.

the girl with the dying messages

when i read that piece of news on newpaper (that my sis somehow decided to buy) i almost cried man. the photo of her pleasant face makes me wanna cry even more ): i mean, knowing you're gonna die you decide to leave something happy for the ones left behind. sigh i feel sad just talking about it.

it does inspire me to do similar things, but cuz i'm superstitious, i fear if i left my dying messages i'd really die soon D:

off to genting during 18-21 nov!

i am sick?

i never entertained the possibility that i might fall sick despite being the most prone to sickness within my vicinity. but i guess i still do. and now i'm online only cuz my dad wants to print email. -.-

so as it turns out, i couldn't get off the freaking floor due to giddiness. in the end my colleague sent me home via his car. sigh. sometimes i think my illness management is pretty screwed. lol 8D when things like this happened in sec school (quite frequently), i tended not to care how i appeared.. i just lay on the floor. wow. talk about pixelated vision. colour was pretty screwy like a 20yr old tv and i didn't quite comprehend what was going on in front of me. man. if i wanted to faint, could i at least completely faint so that people around me have no choice but to carry me or bring me or on a stretcher?? and not half ass faint like a half spoilt tv???

so yeah, because of this strange crap today, i got the chance to go to the bank before it closes. yessss. i got my GO! card. apparently it's a free debit card from posb that you can get as long as you exchange your current nets card for it. and it's under mastercard so you supposedly can do online purchases. once i get my iBanking up, i'm off to settling paypal... and buying Gold for *censored*!! 8DDD man. i was so technologically retarded such that even the most unlikely people had set up such complicated transaction processes and i'm still digging around "how you set up link between bank and paypal?" yah. so i guess necessities (..erh, whatever) force you to change and learn if you have to eh?

and if you ask me, "you're paying to play?" ah yes, i am. ♥ holy crap i found out the keys for hearts! ♥ i used to pay to play RO. i wonder what happened to my thief Yugo. i remember i had another thief or merchant or what but i forgot their names. i never reached assassin... grinding became too painful for me and i was too lazy to get someone to make my Yugo bot. D8 but by the time i was playing Yugo thief, i was already on some RO that was free...? i think? ahh whatever.

i don't know what RO is like now, but paying to play *censored* makes far more sense than that RO i played years ago. no real quests--pure grinding. the only attraction was the idea of reincarnating and resetting your character, only with highly increased basic stats that makes your character godly during re-levelling. but to grind to that stage? spare me man, i could use the time to write a complete Phoenix Wright fanfiction, of which i am currently working on 8D

now what should i do with the rest of my life? oh well. i'm gonna resign pretty soon, although i know very well there is a high chance of switching to perm. well, i kinda don't want to stick around a workplace feeling like a routine robot just to OT and get some 2k+ pay which makes completely no sense. it's like getting paid to become stupid, y'know? at the same time, the chances of getting a job that allows you to learn on your own pace and doesn't disturb you too much isn't readily available i suppose. ahhh. whatever. when it comes, it comes.

shall dig around soon. i hope 2010 is a decidedly different year. i hope i can humble myself further. a part of me still holds certain opinions strongly and it's not going to help me in the long run, especially when i run over others with these opinions of mine. subjects about life is seldom something you can contain your 'passion' about. it could get so intense you'd wanna chup other people's lives--but why bother if you can't manage your own? as they say, there isn't a bigger enemy than yourself.

so whoever they are, i should get off the com soon. once liz is back, i shall get her to do *censored* for me! 8D