my views on a recent incident

oh well it's no longer recent since it happened more than a week ago.. it's the acjc incident! my poly mate talked about it, and so i went to read up on it. i didn't bother with the comments posted on alvinology's blog until Liz started reading, so i read.

my comments!

1) i don't know about the others, but i will HATE you if you ever do such a thing to me!! (believe you me, whatever amount of trust i have in you will instantly be TERMINATED!)

2) it's NOT true that only severe incidents call for bystanders' concern, because even in a car crash where people's limbs are broken, fellow singaporeans only stand and stare!! (imagine you have a broken arm and you're like, "OIEE WAH LAO PAIN COME AND HELP ME LEH???" your fellow singaporeans look at each other and hint to each other, 'oie help that guy leh') <-- i think it's still very true that locals don't have very good crisis management skills -.-|||

3) erhhh ok i think i belong to the more conservative society. (i might be bs-ing judging from my arse exposing tendencies) and i would proudly declare to be dull, boring and conservative if it saves me from ragging. REALLY. go away, i'm a nerd.

4) i can't remember whose comments spoke something about raggings and all the 'humor' done out of 'fun' are the norm of these days. and moralistic conservatives are oppressing the ones who dare to speak up and be individualistic. well i'd like to say.. being different and individualistic only makes you different but not superior lor -.-||| just wear your underwear outside and you're automatically deviant. not difficult mah! if embarrassment means being different...oh God imagine thinking back 10yrs ago when did you all kinds of embarrassing stuff. shiiit!

5) additional point i just thought of while chatting with Liz. you know, it's easy not to be conservative. just polarize everything you disagree with. and i find it interesting. moralistic individuals and these freedom fighters are like the North and South poles of the compass. LOL.

6) imagine that speaking up and doing all these things are considered being liberal and having the freedom of speech. imagine a scenario where a girl gets pregnant, goes to class, and says, "wooh! i have a baby now! expect to see my baby in 10mths time! i invite you to my baby's full month celebration!!" and when asked who the father is, she happily answers, "DON'T TELL YOU HAHH :D" it's actually quite funny.

just my personal viewpoint lah har? so i won't be expecting any strange commentators who tell me i'm passing judgment! still, i will remember all these little incidents, cuz by 2020, i will be reflecting back on this period where people love to talk about freedom.

wah seriously, say until like we must all grow by absorbing humiliation and embarrassment. wah piang. i'd rather laugh at zaoxia toys or watch more jacky wu shows man. i'd rather be ordinary and happy than to be deviant and full of anger @.@

multiple updates

i'd wanted to forego update again, but after i saw baato-san's spams on my tagboard, i decided... well, time for lots of updates! :DDD with headers to boot some more. LOL. (all backlog entries hahaha.)

My Unsaveable Anatomy

one week before work started, i was bathing. i mean i bathe everyday (i think...LOL) but that's not the point.

i looked down.

then i went to tell my mother.

"mama, i have grown...fatter."

she o.o!!! and said, "you must go to work...keep busy and you will be skinnier!"

ok.

1 week after work had started, i was bathing.

i looked down.

then i went to ask Liz.

"do you think i'm fat?" *pinches fat*

"...you're not fat. you're just flabby."

on either a monday or tuesday, i went to work. i caught sight of my two managers' tummies.

oh no. teletubbies.

what is going to happen to me man.

My Jacket

for some strange reason, anyone who sees my jacket will inevitably make a face and say, "har?? Boyzone??"

while i haven't gone down to wiki-ing for boyzone, it remains a mystery to me... why that reaction?? it is some forgotten boy band of the past?? or do they bare their arses during concerts?? it's like mentioning F4?

while i usually don't care much for my dress sense (i have been called everything from cleaner to construction worker to just plain uncle or auntie), this is finally getting quite disconcerting to me. have i been wearing an F equivalent jacket all over the place?!

(but i don't intend to change jackets anytime soon. i have been wearing this since i think sec 1. it's 8yrs worth of sentiments man...and smell. LOL)

My Colleagues

so much for office environment. even the managers are spewing all kinds of weird hokkien all over the place in presence of the Japanese. everyday it is a must to listen to "kanina chibuaiz xiao simi lan" <-- my colleague, not my managers. LOL. (but all were said during office hours in their presence.)

so, i don't actually know my colleague much. i only know they like to jisiao Liz. and because i seem quite similar to her, i have to start getting used to being teased on a daily basis. good God.

there's this colleague who sits beside me. he is seriously...weird man. our company practises the 5S policy (shine, sustain, sort, something and something), and he is the reverse of everything. work starts at 9, he comes in 10.30am. everyone's tables are so neat, his is a heap of trash. he spews the most vulgarity and he makes the most noise. every once in a while he must make noise. (...) so, here are some stupidities i encounter with him.

Me: D (manager), is there anything else for me to do?
D: ...Hey L, what you want her to do?
L: you ask me what now i also don't know.
D: ?? you make so much noise about shortage of manpower, now she come you say don't know?
L: got lah, calculations lor...
D: then get her to do lah.
L: must teach again, so mah fan.
D: OF COURSE must teach lah, who come already know how to do everything???

...

anyway so, he was trying to teach me and i was scribbling some of his words down. finally he commented that i was damn irritating for writing and not listening. i told him it's a thing about me that he should just ignore; i really do all sorts of things while listening. unfortunately i'm better at doing something and then banging into things and asking questions later. LOL.

actually, the bigger reason while i was writing and ignoring him was cuz he started to talk to himself.

L: currently we're using HPAP, but soon it will all be HPGP.... eh? is it implemented already? or next month? HPAP is HPGP..? when was it mentioned huh? then how to calculate? ... WEH are you listening??
Me: you talking to me or yourself???

then after teaching me all sorts of nonsense calculation, i told him, "ok, i'm going home liao."

L: what??? then i teach you for what??? tomorrow you'll ask again lor!??
Me: tml morning when you not in i start calculating lah!!
L: ... ok lor

i ended up asking a lot of questions and he finally said, "ni hen fan leh!!! (you very bothersome leh!!!)" LOL.

then i calculated and reported a lot of mistakes to L.

the following day, L took leave (to go sentosa. wtf?).

finally, i consulted another colleague, KP, because no matter how i calculated, there were far too many mistakes. and KP finally mentored me properly (he's quite a good mentor...LOL he was the one who fixed my mistake for the mass mistake HAHAH).

and almost all my miscalculations disappeared.

... you know, KP has only been working here for a couple of months. L has been working for 2+ or 3 years, and he taught me wrongly. ...

and i did notice that L occasionally asks KP questions.

finally, this conversation took place.

Me: KP, how long has he been working here?
KP: he? about 2+yrs, 3yrs?
Me: you a few months right?
KP: yah, why?
(L turns around cuz he hears that we're talking about him.)
Me: ...how come he's asking you things and not the other way round?

KP burst out laughing and L froze.
then L stared for 3 seconds
before he stiffly turned around and started to reply emails. LOL

then, i was done with the calculations. i started to bug L all over again for things to do (cuz his table has a pile of documents which i automatically assumed was work). finally he buey tahan my irritating questionings and passed me Damage Reports to do.

part of the reason why i wanted to do them was cuz they were crossing over to my table and he had intentions of piling more at my space. the upper management of Japanese already came down to take photo of his table (he was absent at the moment and they shook head at his cosy corner while taking evidence of violations of 5a**). i didn't want to risk being accused of violations.

so, i started to dig into the Damage Reports.

yesterday, i put up posters of the 5S Campaign and 90degrees Campaign cuz it was on L's desk and he claimed he wanted to make some space (i wonder how putting two A2 posters up can save space). i auspiciously put it behind him and another manager (jokingly) said, "5S and your table is like that?? tml morning i will see your table cleaned!!"

i might have misinterpreted, but i thought L told me to clean up by tml morning (which is today).

having completed all the Damage Reports at hand and knowing that there were more hidden ones on his desk, i took the liberty to sort his table this morning. wah liao. i discovered something as old as March crap and May invoices. and i found a couple of damage reports so i left them on my desk.

suddenly, at 9.20am, L appeared?!

L: *rushes over* wah lao why you make my table messier??
Me: excuse me? make messier?!
L: now i don't know where my things are!!
Me: you already didn't know even before this...
L: you know i came especially earlier cuz i was worried something like this was gonna happen... you kpoh freak!!! didn't i tell you not to touch my table!!
Me: huh? i thought the manager wants to see your table cleaned? so i clean lor...
L: i told you NOT to touch mahh!!
Me: huh is it? ... : D???
L: ... *turns to liz* actually i wanted to scold her. but i see her like that, all my mood to scold has disappeared.
Liz: LOL

see me like what?? moron is it??

man. i should've taken the before and after photo. then you will understand why today i felt a great sense of achievement.

amazingly, near day end, L suddenly decided to clear up his table. i was like : DDDD all the way and he was annoyed, "wah lao. see me clear things so happy. kanina..."

and when i pointed to ask, "what's that???"

he swatted me off and said, "wah lao you don't need to know lah! when it's time i will let you know! pack finish this one ok?? wah lao sibei curious man, kpoh until wanna die! (literal translation)"

despite clearing i swear 1000pcs of paper, and him saying, "i feel like i have just been rebirth-ed!" his table is amazingly still a warground. i don't know how he does it.

and he said, "LUCKILY tml morning you not coming. HAH."

LOL i then dun wanna come. wanna sleep. already become rich ass cuz cannot wake up for 2 times this week. or what? forgot.

just a random addition before i close this post, i was in the lift with Liz yesterday with a random person in the same block. she kept staring at me and i wondered if there was something spastic in my face. and she finally uttered,

"are you guys twins?"

wah liew, i said no. then before she reached her level i quickly added, "who's older??"

she thought for a while, "erhh her? *points at Liz*"

YAY ONE POINT ONE LOVE ONE KISS FOR YOU

now, currently, the ratio to the number of people who say Liz is older to i am older is 1 : 9

then i added a byebye when she got off. LOL.

next time i will post my childhood photo. then you see for yourself whether we look alike anot. we may have looked alike in the past but DEFINITELY NOT NOW. go away! :D (??)

belated update

hello.

it's been a few days since my last update, and now i'm updating from my office. i am OT-ing. as usual, i can't see the tagboard.

and i didn't update blog because every time i reach home, i am busy...
1) puzzle questing
2) xenogears-ing
3) sudoku-ing (on my hp)

two nights ago, i dozed off on my hp. my game accumulated about 500mins. LOL.

i am so bloody tired i dunno what to talk about. so, i think i will talk a bit this random conversation i had with strahl. it happened on i think monday or tuesday night. ... actually i don't remember the conversation. it was just that he was commenting on the flute t-shirt when suddenly the conversation deviated very far... from katamari flutes all the way to acjc incident. and what time was it. 2+ am.

every time during my 'break time' (in other words, during the time i'm not working), i tend to sleep 10hrs. i had to get up at 7.45am. and i was up at 2am. i was constantly counting down on the convo, "45% discount of sleep time... 50%... 55%... OMG 60%"

i went to work staring. LOL.

anyway today is another interesting day. i am learning to update reports, enter data for both import and export, and to deal with invoice. i swear i must learn as much as i can before i leave my position as a temp staff. data entry can be more exciting than it originally is! : D

...

actually i wanted to talk about my anatomy again. but i'll save it for tomorrow.

can't wait for flute chalet to happen. can't wait for 23 Nov. i'll be able to meet up with leehoon!!! :DDD

topic of the day: xxx and asses

today, i have discovered an unoriginal activity that makes me look like i'm working-blogging n paper. LOL. so now i'm basically transferring from hard copy to soft copy. and because i was so inspired, i have written at least 3 or 4 days worth of entries, so i'm wondering what to talk about.

let's start chronologically.

last night, i was puzzle fighting (i started to miss that game). i puzzle fought with an emo face. after about an hour, i asked liz, who was preparing to sleep.

Me: when was the last time i displayed bad mood behaviour?
Liz: *thinks for a whole minute* i can't remember. erhh. i think a long time ago?
Me: ...really? i was in a bad mood leh.
Liz: is it?? i thought you were puzzle questing as usual! you puzzle quest always ignore the whole world one mah.
Me: ??!!! btw i was puzzle fighting.

i was actually seriously contemplating maintaining my bad mood all the way till i fell asleep. but that remark from liz vaporised my bad mood. oh my gawd. now my bad mood doesn't look like bad mod. is that a good or a bad thing!?!?

well, my bad mood had mostly to do with xenogears though. first off, the story is taking towards a tragic turn, both literally and figuratively. the story is tragic, AND the game planning at disc 2 is tragic. i cannot believe they resorted to sticking to still images and plain text for story telling. noooo. anyway away from that...the idea about Fei is just sad i guess. it kinda reminded me of all the cheesy stories i wrote in the past...

...

DING!

change mood! : D

today, i saw a woman swaying her ass mechanically. liz was looking at the same thing. i asked, "is that deliberate or did she train it naturally...?" to which liz replied, "no idea. it just looks damn mechanical." amazing. a human can actually walk naturally mechanically.

away from stuff butts but still related, i remember that as a kid, i ooked at people's asses a lot. no i do not have a fixation towards arses though i sound so. i was just...well, short, so all i could see was bums. do you believe that i tried to walk without swaying my ass? oh my gawd, bo liao.

(i spent a lot of childhood time experimenting with movements but somehow i still dance as well as the tree beside me. did i tell you i lasted less than 10 seconds on the parapara machine because it couldn't detect my movements?)

i remember writing and passing notes to my male classmates, discussing asses. for some raeson, channel 8 gao3 xiao4 xing2 dong4 搞笑行动 talked a lot about it. i think it's a thing with kids; they seem to find drawing w shaped butts and Os dropping out of the parting very a,using.

when i grew older, it got a level higher.

now, it's sex education!

was it sec 1 or 2, science textbook, chapter 12 and 13 or something?

i remember this happened.

Ms Tay: now, turn to page xxx.
Class: *flips* *giggles*
(giggling over scientific sex. morons)
Ms Tay: i will demonstrate to you something today. i need a volunteer.
Class: *gasp* *thinks* 'but Ms Tay, you are 60+...'
Ms Tay: Lin Jing! <-- either he volunteered or she did

Lin Jing is this classmate whose name is called LJ in short and is often associated with $2 Daiso swan heads. out of 10 lines, 7 lines are vulgarity. and he is 110kg.

next.

Lin Jing: wah lao eh chiba*...
Class: good luck Ms Tay!! <-- i'm sure i made this up
Ms Tay: ok, now squat down, and curl into a ball.
Lin Jing: ???
Class: ??!!
Ms Tay: now this is the infant stage. as the infant grows bigger and bigger...
Class: *sighs* cheh.

k. i don't know why he class was so excited about some 60+yr old decent charbo and a vulgar 110kg LJ pairing.

and the next sidetrack.

in poly, my lecturer said, "we will now watch m18/r21 video."

the class was so damn excited.

then came the scene of the naked woman.

two saggy bags.

after staring for a while, one classmate finally commented, "this isn't m18/r21... this is NC16, gore and violence!!!"

no wonder they say that the three elements that stire the human race are humour, sex and violence. LOL.

never go kbox with only 3 people, especially including your mom...

hahh. i posted on the blog earlier today, but the post was handwritten yesterday. i just transferred it to soft copy today. hehehe. and i realised there were a lot of strange typos. (i've changed them.) i dunno if anyone saw but i doubt so...i erhh didn't look carefully and posted my blog on the flute blog LOL was wondering why my blog black colour one hahahahaha.

anyway.

last night, i erh... puzzle quested until 2am in the morning so i got up only at 9.50am today. LOL. we reached work at 10.30am i think.... and ended work at 3! then we went to ehub kbox with my mother.

now. here are a few tips from me:

1) do not assume that 2 jackets is enough.
2) you could go on a day that all normal rooms are booked cuz you can have the super large room to yourselves despite paying the normal rate.
3) reject tidbits. two horribly small dishes cost $12...the suckersss.
4) make sure to listen carefully. some moron heard as 3 people share 2 drinks when it really means 3 people 2 drinks each. (it's really pathetic. we ended up taking home 4 bottles of mineral water from dew... they look nice but i feel we've been cheated. gannnn.)
5) bring kimtopei (or however you spell it). you will die after the first 45mins.
6) do not, do NOT bring your mom, especially if she likes to dance.

never mind that my mother has the tendency to slow down songs by 50%... i don't know if got too damn cold for her or what she started to dance this butt swaying thing in the middle of the large room. never mind if she's dancing. never mind if the door is closed. the door is transparent dammit!!! wah liew!!!! and she chose to have her back face the door when she did this butt jutting action AND people chose this timing to walk pastttt!!! liz and i literally screamed into the mic!!!! oh God.

now you know what factory i came from.

that's all i wanted to say. NEVER EVER bring your mom, especially if she has the tendency to dance home things all the way to public.

i would rather go to open lounges with my uncles and aunties and see them act crazy together with a bunch of senior members of the society than to see a 50year old mom swinging her bosoms and ass in the middle of a public arena to Japanese rock songs. ugh i could have died on the spot.

REMEMBER. FART WHEN YOUR MOM STARTS TO DANCE. IT WILL DISTRACT HER. (no i didn't do that. i don't want to join her. LOL.)

two random facts

once again, updating at office so cannot see tagboard. (half day today!)

didn't update yesterday cuz i was too busy Xenogears-ing and Puzzle Questing. wah lao. Xenogears is a classic game man. even the story is classic. it's damn cheesy and stereotypical, but it's still damn nice. wahhhh wooooh. (L)

anyways, back to subject. wanna know the conclusion to my mass error?

well...

it seems my managers couldn't care twohoots about it and are waiting for the accounts side to reject the invoices so we can amend whatever is necessary. DIAO.

these were their reactions:

manager 1: didn't i tell you how to do it? sigh... give me the list of mistakes. (note: he looked quite emo)

manager 2: what did you do wrong? oh. cannot edit. send me the collaboration. i'm not asking you for the list, i'm asking for the collaboration. aiyah, never mind. after lunch. (he never did ask from me after lunch)

the first manager ignored me the whole day ;__; but the second one... well...he was smiling. erhh. usually he looks sibei sian. liz and i are guessing that

1) it's not a big deal
2) he's in a good mood
3) he frowns when he's in a good mood and smiles when he's sian

we're guessing it's the third. cuz liz also did something wrong and he pointed it out to her smilingly...

anyway, him aside, this is something i wonder.which of the following is true?

a) guys are guys forever -- no matter which age, they will ogle at and rate girls
b) it's an age thing; during puberty, guys become interested and by 21, they are on their way to pro-nership
c) it's an aftereffect of NS (along with vulgarity language) due to severe deprivation
d) it's a clique thing; hang out with the right type of guys and you will gain supreme insight

i bet the guys wanna pick 4, but i think it's 3.

and i seem to have a knack for getting paper cuts all over my hands -__- (3 papers cuts on my thumb alone. erhh.)

two random facts my mother told me to wrap up the post today:

1) researchers/scientists have fed oysters/clams (can't remember which one) with anti-depressants. due to their double sex nature, they also have ding ding dongs, and when fed with anti-depressants, their D3s can come up cannot come down. then they become impotent. LOL

so is it better to be a pig or oyster/clam? the pig's organism lasts 30mins but oyster/clam can bang itself leh. self sufficient being man.

2) fish communicate by farting. end of story.

k. some blasphemic info here onwards.

now, correct me if i'm wrong, but you DO fart without restriction at home don't you?? and once again pardon me if i'm wrong, but your family DOES laugh (at least some times) when you fart, don't they?

(please don't say no cuz if that's the case once again i'll be isolated as a disgusting arse literally)

now, imagine the world where we comunicate by farting... how wonderful this must be! this world would be an expressive one where it's filled with laughter, peace and joy, grimaces, smiles and laughter. the newspaper would be reporting about the bizarre rise of global warming and we know why. we also laugh at our neighbours for dropping dead at the stench of careless whispers.

...

anyway, imagine mom says:
"help wash clothes!"
and you fart in response.
wah, classic man.

oh messed up big time!

once again, i am blogging at the office, so, i won't be able to see the tagboard.

oh nooo. i messed up big time today. but more on that later.

i messed up BIG time yesterday and i completely forgot about it until this morning!!! ok... i went home at 7pm (leaving liz at the office). sounds like the start of a good evening. my mother called to say she was going out with my uncle and instructed me how to get my dinner. then it was raining heavy. so i took a bus home from the station. then, i reached the doorstep...

...and realised i forgot to bring my keys out in the first place.

shit.

i stood at the door and changed out of my wet socks to my slippers. but that was not the point.

beyond the door was my bak kuteh. outside is a hungry and drenched arse, only managing to smell the door. my...bak ku teh.

so i had no choice but to go to 201 and play puzzle quest until 10 when my parents and uncle finally came back. LOL.

this was the dialogue in puzzle quest:

Drong: Tofu, i saw something interesting just now.
Tofu: i'm guessing that you saw something you want to eat.
Drong: you are smart! how you know?
Tofu: I'm a real scholar. i even know that you want to go back there to eat it. now what is it?
Drong: wow you are right. it's at Valley of the things...
Tofu: Valley of the kings you mean.
Drong: Drong saw a granite statue.
Tofu: what!? you can't eat a granite statue!!
Drong: Drong wants to try! how you know you can't until you try!?
Tofu: i have a feeling i can't win this argument. all right, let's just go get you the statue.
(after the trip)
Tofu: i can't understand this. how can you...eat so much...rock?
Drong: yum yum yum! good for Drong's teeth.

erhhh.

anyway, this is what i messed up. i erh...

i sent a whole pile of wrong data to the headquarters LOL

cool huh, data entry also can mess up HAHAHAHAA (i'm wondering if this is why i feel that when i typed '3 times more mistakes', i felt a very close affinity. it was a premonition. oh God.)

for some reason, despite being fraked up, i could still look at my colleague smilingly and say, "erh oh everything wrong leh." he looked at me and smilingly said, "really anot? don't scare me leh." then i said, "of course not scaring you lah, really lah! how?" he stared for a while and said, "actually, i also don't know." i asked, "has anyone made this mistake before?" he smiled and said, "no leh."

oh. so i made a mass unprecedented mistake? cool!

...

anyway so now i'm OT-ing to complete some tasks i was given, and try to rectify the mistake so i can answer something to my regional manager tml LOL. i think i kena screw up too many times until now i screw up i actually don't feel as nervous or stressed as i normally would be. screwin up many times in life gives you the nerve to smile and say you messed up big time. dohhhh.

PRAY THAT I SURVIVE TOMORROWWW!