Staying Disconnected

Facebook was fun for a short while...

...but with the increasing Add Friend count, I'm inclined to retreat to this isolated abode.

While Facebook keeps it easy for everyone to keep in contact and follow up on your life, I personally think it encourages laziness.

I don't really understand randomly adding people and keeping them updated about your life when you know your life doesn't matter to them. And let's be honest...some people's lives just don't matter to you either.

It probably sounds dramatic, but adding people whom I respect and are acquaintances with but see no point in updating my life with is daunting and can suffocate me.

In recent years, I've come to accept that I'm just horribly introverted. My mother doesn't like to socialise, and Liz is famous for being a recluse among all her ex-school mates. I don't think I'm breaking the pattern either. In fact, before I was aware about something called social life, staying at home and doing my own thing forever was and still remains an attractive thought to this date.

I'm comfortable living with my online game, my gaming consoles, my fictions and well...just being with my family. Just thinking about my fictions is enough to keep me entertained everyday.

Admittedly, another reason I don't like to stay connected is because ironically sometimes, being in a crowd actually amplifies the sense of being alone. I don't know how to explain it, but that awful feeling is tangible. It sounds funny but my fictions make better company to me than being together with a bunch of people whom I don't care about and people whom I know don't care about me.

Yeah... I do fear being alone.

I don't expect to be understood, but I write this post anyway because I thought you might want to try to.

And no, I don't mean I don't need friends. My mother has frequently accused me of placing friends above family. (How that happens, I wonder) I'm just saying that this is what I'm like. I'll miss my friends if they ever left me, but I won't force them to stay with me either. Cuz I want to keep it mutual. It's sad if we have to force one another to stay together instead of wanting to be together on mutual consensus. ^^